Husband refuses to allow our child to see unvaccinated family

[Anonymous]

My husband refuses to let our son (3) see my unvaccinated sister, BIL and nieces. He describes my sister and BIL as selfish and dislikes them because they refused to get vaccinated for personal choice during the pandemic.

My husband takes methotrexate for rheumatoid arthritis and has been doing so for the past 10+ years. As a result he’s at higher risk of developing an infection and our son is too young to be vaccinated. My husband works from home and we outsource most things - groceries, etc.

But he refuses to see my family or let them see our son during family events. Our son will not maintain a mask and my sister refuses to wear one as well. My husband is perfectly fine with me going alone but has made it clear he will not be attending any family events with our son for an indefinite period of time.

I support him but WTF am I supposed to tell my sister?! Let me also add that my husband will take our son to the park to play around other kids and has taken him on an airplane once during the pandemic as well.

[Anonymous]

Tell your sister to grow the f*ck up and get vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Tell your sister actions have consequences. But given that your husband takes your son to the park, perhaps your sister and nieces could meet you there one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your sister to grow the f*ck up and get vaccinated.

She and her husband won’t. It’s in their character.

So does this mean that we will just never see them as a family, ever?!

[Anonymous]

Tell her the truth. Whom are you trying to protect?

[Anonymous]

Your kid will be old enough to be vaxed in < 2 years. Visit sister then, or visit sister now but outdoors. Not difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your sister to grow the f*ck up and get vaccinated.

She and her husband won’t. It’s in their character.

So does this mean that we will just never see them as a family, ever?!

Maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your sister to grow the f*ck up and get vaccinated.

She and her husband won’t. It’s in their character.

So does this mean that we will just never see them as a family, ever?!

Then their "character" has consequences.

I don't know what this means for the future. Maybe medical science will progress to a point where your DH isn't as concerned. Maybe he'll feel better about it when your kid can get vaccinated. Who's to say?

[Anonymous]

^apparently that’s fine with your sister and BIL. This is on them, not your husband.

[Anonymous]

Your husband doesn't like your family. You're in a tough spot if your husband will take your kid around strangers that are unvax but not family. Will he allow the kid around them at a park or outside? If not it's personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband doesn't like your family. You're in a tough spot if your husband will take your kid around strangers that are unvax but not family. Will he allow the kid around them at a park or outside? If not it's personal.

OP here.

He doesn’t like them, and has not for years. It’s not anything particular they are just polar opposites. My sister (love her) but she has been sheltered her entire life and is quite dense. I think the refusal is in part because my husband really just doesn’t want to be around my sister or BIL.

[Anonymous]

Who cares about family events. It should be fine for your son to visit with unvaxxed relatives outdoors. Are you sure he won't wear a mask? Did he not keep one on when on the plane? In any case, there are lot of different KN95 and KF94 styles available for little kids now and they have cool designs so my 3 yo actually asks to wear his and usually puts one on himself before we go out the door.

[Anonymous]

team DH here

[Anonymous]

I think you should put your foot down and say it is reasonable and safe enough to meet them outside at the park or something similar. Your kid is around other unvaxed kids at the park so there is no reason you shouldn't bring him to visit your sister in an outdoor setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband doesn't like your family. You're in a tough spot if your husband will take your kid around strangers that are unvax but not family. Will he allow the kid around them at a park or outside? If not it's personal.

OP here.

He doesn’t like them, and has not for years. It’s not anything particular they are just polar opposites. My sister (love her) but she has been sheltered her entire life and is quite dense. I think the refusal is in part because my husband really just doesn’t want to be around my sister or BIL.

Your husband should know its irrelevant whether he likes you family, he should only care if you like your family and be supportive.