What is the minimum salary you'd date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here, I make over 200k and met a nice guy recently, he works in nonprofit and makes about 70k. He told me he never chose a job because of money but purpose, he loves what he does and doesn’t care about material things. He is educated, purpose driven and the kindest person I know, very compassionate and a great partner. Ive been trying to think about if this would work long term and what it would look like. Would appreciate comments from women who have been or are in this situation.

I did that, we are divorced. I don’t care that he made $70 but he spent like he had ($200+$70)/2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

So at 50 making $200K you would date somebody making $65K because they have potential?

Yes, my kids will be graduating college when I am 50, so I can date a man making 30k/year no problem. But before that, 300k please.

Because you like supporting men, can’t even pay a mortgage on $30K.

And are you saying if you dated a man before your kids graduated college you need more $ because he would pay their tuition? 🤔

I like expensive gifts. But after 50, those bags won’t look good on me so that’s when I give up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man: Don't care about a woman's income. Just don't saddle me with her pre-existing debt.

+1! I'm a woman and I was just speaking with someone today about how men don't want to marry women with a ton of debt --both credit card debt and college debt. That men don't want to get tangled up in that, but they probably won't tell the woman her indebtedness was a huge factor in dumping her. The women I was talking to didn't believe me! I told her the truth is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

So at 50 making $200K you would date somebody making $65K because they have potential?

The hypothetical is off for a few reasons. $65K in 2008 would be closer to $90K in 2022 adjusting for inflation. Plus, if you are dating at 50 there are significantly more concerns than just salary - with the most obvious being your age. Your dating pool at 50 is significantly smaller, particularly if you are a 50 year old female. More than likely, you would be looking at 60+ males who may or may not be retired. That assessment is a totally different bag as you are at end of career and not beginning. And you are not necessarily looking for someone to help you raise kids together.

You're comparing apples to oranges, PP.

I did not compare anything. I pointed out how silly it is to say you don’t care about salary because you dated a 25 yo making $65K all because of love … you magically got lucky to get $600K in the end. It’s just silly talk.

It is not silly to say that you don't care about salary when that is not a factor. At the time that I met and married my DH, I did not care about salary at all. I matched based on personality, character, education, life goals, and family values. Assessing for those factors worked out fabulously. If I had insisted on a high earning attorney or doctor at the time, I would not have married my DH, as he was earning a relatively low salary at the time. The idea that salary should be the deciding factor is nonsense.

And I didn't magically get any salary in the end. I built a business and made it. Call that magic if you like but it is far more concrete than pinning your hopes on a man to earn your keep.

[Anonymous]

Wow, a lot of women here are setting themselves up to die alone with a pet, single as a slice of American cheese. Your salary requirements are obnoxious, as well as delusional. You could have had an average earning man bringing in $55k/year, but at least you would grow old with a man.

Why would a man earning $200,000/year pick you when he could have his choice of women? He is in the top 2 percent of earners nationwide. He doesn't care about your money, or your job or your education. So what else do you bring to the table?

[Anonymous]

Woman: I care more about no pre existing debt than salary. But, if he made less than me, he would need to not have a complex about it. Before I married DH, I dated someone who couldn’t handle it that I made more than him and it was one of the reasons we broke up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a lot of women here are setting themselves up to die alone with a pet, single as a slice of American cheese. Your salary requirements are obnoxious, as well as delusional. You could have had an average earning man bringing in $55k/year, but at least you would grow old with a man.

Why would a man earning $200,000/year pick you when he could have his choice of women? He is in the top 2 percent of earners nationwide. He doesn't care about your money, or your job or your education. So what else do you bring to the table?

I'm married and I will also die alone with a pet, as women live much longer than men do. A lot of women also want to be single.

"At ages 40 and above, more than 7 in 10 women (71 percent) are completely uninterested in dating or romantic relationships, compared to 42 percent of men. "

"Among lifelong single people, women often do particularly well in later life. A noteworthy study examined the social networks of seniors (65 and older) of different marital and parental statuses in six nations—Australia, Finland, the Netherlands, Spain, the United Kingdom, and the U.S. Generally, people who had no children had the most restricted social networks. But there was a big exception: In five of the six nations, women who had no children and had been single all their lives had more expansive social networks in which friends were an important part of their everyday support system. These lifelong single women were not growing old alone. A recent study of seniors in the U.S. found that in several important ways, women do better than men when living alone, whereas men do relatively better when they live with other people—typically, a wife. "


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202008/half-all-single-people-just-don-t-want-relationship#:~:text=At%20ages%2040%20and%20above,33%20percent%20for%20the%20men.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201701/is-it-true-single-women-and-married-men-do-best

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a lot of women here are setting themselves up to die alone with a pet, single as a slice of American cheese. Your salary requirements are obnoxious, as well as delusional. You could have had an average earning man bringing in $55k/year, but at least you would grow old with a man.

Why would a man earning $200,000/year pick you when he could have his choice of women? He is in the top 2 percent of earners nationwide. He doesn't care about your money, or your job or your education. So what else do you bring to the table?

Got it - a woman is nothing without a man. Of course, most women do die alone, because men die first...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a lot of women here are setting themselves up to die alone with a pet, single as a slice of American cheese. Your salary requirements are obnoxious, as well as delusional. You could have had an average earning man bringing in $55k/year, but at least you would grow old with a man.

Why would a man earning $200,000/year pick you when he could have his choice of women? He is in the top 2 percent of earners nationwide. He doesn't care about your money, or your job or your education. So what else do you bring to the table?

I am sorry I would rather die alone than with a man who is living near poverty line at older age. The only population in DC area for whom its ok making 50K/year are recent college graduates, or stay at home moms who were out of workforce for 20 years, or foreigners without fluent English.

If you are a 50 y.o. man and make 50K, would you marry a 50 y.o. former SAHM without a retirement account, a home, and who just went back to work? Even if she's a really good person and mom? I doubt any 50 y.o. man in DC area would be particular interested!

My mom is foreign born, she's very good looking and fluent in English. She lives in a very nice subsidized apartment in Arlington making about 40K/year at age 55 as a small property manager and drives a Honda. She dated several man, but they would always find someone their income level and would be ashamed of her accent, or her not having an own home/apartment even though it's not her fault at all.

Men want to marry equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're a man or woman. Wondering since everyone talks about wealth here.

Idk about salary but good educational background, good career path, no debt, no liabilities and good financial behavior is more important than a cutoff number for salary.

[Anonymous]

$200k

[Anonymous]

For those of you who have high minimum salaries as a requirement for the men you will date, just be prepared to be the "first wife" and be prepared to be replaced later in life when you get older. Women who marry for money typically end up with men who marry for youth and beauty, who will discard their first wife when she loses both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Women who demand $200k plus: how are you going to make that happen? What’s your plan? And don’t answer you already met you lawyer/MD husband in college. How are you going to make it happen now?

They aren't, because only hot women marry men 200k+ and hot women don't post on online forums for dinosaurs

+1

This is absolutely not the case if you believe the posts on DCUM. Literally every thread has a SAHM bragging about her DH’s 7 figure income and I cannot believe that they are all hot.

Women who marry someone wealthy once are very likely to do it again (if they want). They are “the type” these men go after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a lot of women here are setting themselves up to die alone with a pet, single as a slice of American cheese. Your salary requirements are obnoxious, as well as delusional. You could have had an average earning man bringing in $55k/year, but at least you would grow old with a man.

Why would a man earning $200,000/year pick you when he could have his choice of women? He is in the top 2 percent of earners nationwide. He doesn't care about your money, or your job or your education. So what else do you bring to the table?

Exactly, what an honor to be able to grow old with a 55k earning man!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who have high minimum salaries as a requirement for the men you will date, just be prepared to be the "first wife" and be prepared to be replaced later in life when you get older. Women who marry for money typically end up with men who marry for youth and beauty, who will discard their first wife when she loses both.

Half of marriages end in divorce. At least if you marry someone wealthy, your half of the settlement will be a lot higher than if you married some average Joe who cheated on you.