What is the minimum salary you'd date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man: Don't care about a woman's income. Just don't saddle me with her pre-existing debt.

Woman here with the same answer for a prospective man.

Another woman here with same answer. Met DH when I was 6 years into the workforce and he was in grad school. Supported him for a while but would’ve given me pause if his schooling wasn’t paid for and he’d be six figures in debt at the end. We probably would’ve waited longer to marry if he’d had debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

How old were you in 2008? These women don't have abundance of dating choices, they just dont want to make poor life choices that would make them even more miserable. It's easy to destroy someone's financial stability in divorce if you joined finances and then become a mooch.

I would rather not date at all than dating someone who is 50 y.o. and makes 60k/year. This is a huge red flag about that person intelligence, goal setting, financial planning, social skills etc.

I was 29 in 2008 - same age as my DH. I'm going to bet that the vast majority of women on this board are not dating in their 50s. While there may be some, it does not constitute the majority of the dating scene.
My point is that excluding a really good match who otherwise meets all criteria based on salary alone is incredibly short-sighted and shallow - and probably why so many people remain single well into 40s/50s. My question is why you can't make your own money? Isn't that a huge red flag about intelligence, goal setting, financial planning, social skills, etc.? I rely on no one to do that for me.

I am no different from you: I married at 26, making $85K back then, my exH made about $120K. We divorced at 600K family income each of us retaining 50% of $5mm family assets.

Ok let me ask you this: if you get divorced in 2022, have your kids and the house, would you date someone making 85K at age 45-50 with a view of ever marrying this person?

It depends on what that person did for a living and what we had in common. If he was a scientist/researcher who made little to no money, yes, absolutely. Struggling author who was trying to get published? Journalist? Sure. Someone with no education? Likely not. For me, it is the education level that is of greater interested rather than salary. I make the bulk of our HHI, though, so I'm not worried too much about what my DH brings in.

I'm married but if I were to become single, I'd be interested in dating someone who is successful but not necessarily highly educated, as long as he's not a red piller or conservative Republican - carpenter, woodworker, someone who owns a landscaping company or nursery, as my hobby (obsession?) is gardening. I have a grad degree from MIT.

Same with me - I would rather marry a builder who makes 300K without a college degree than a super educated "writer" with lots of unrealized potential well into his 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

So at 50 making $200K you would date somebody making $65K because they have potential?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never had a “salary minimum” for dating, that sounds awful to me.
But I did want to date someone intelligent, responsible, and had a drive/passion to pursue something in life while being able to make enough for a living. I was turned off by the dreamers who never wanted to work, or could not pull themselves together enough to finish college, or spent all of their earnings on frivolous things and lived in constant debt.

So you do have a minimum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman: $200K. It’s less than what I earn and given my problems with ambitions and focus any guy who can’t earn at least that much is either from a different class background so had fewer opportunities, or screwed up the ones he had; exception for high achievement in a low paying field like literature, art, music, science.

So you’re single?

No married but divorcing. Married a guy who made $70K when we met (as did I). He makes >$500K now. I am still leaving him.

The irony is that you don't even see the irony!

[Anonymous]

I’m much more concerned with their lifestyle than income. I don’t care how much you make, but I would never marry someone who was materialistic and spent more than necessary on housing, clothes, cars, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m much more concerned with their lifestyle than income. I don’t care how much you make, but I would never marry someone who was materialistic and spent more than necessary on housing, clothes, cars, etc.

I am also concerned for my lifestyle. It's not like I am terribly materialistic, but I don't want to be told that from now on I should drive 2013 Honda Civic and only go to local vacations because he's making 80K gross, pays $1500/month child support and cannot contribute to my 10K annual Caribbean vacation (which I totally can afford living on my own)

Whats the point of marrying at all in this scenario? I can have a boyfriend for companionship but we talk marriage here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

So at 50 making $200K you would date somebody making $65K because they have potential?

The hypothetical is off for a few reasons. $65K in 2008 would be closer to $90K in 2022 adjusting for inflation. Plus, if you are dating at 50 there are significantly more concerns than just salary - with the most obvious being your age. Your dating pool at 50 is significantly smaller, particularly if you are a 50 year old female. More than likely, you would be looking at 60+ males who may or may not be retired. That assessment is a totally different bag as you are at end of career and not beginning. And you are not necessarily looking for someone to help you raise kids together.

You're comparing apples to oranges, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman: $200K. It’s less than what I earn and given my problems with ambitions and focus any guy who can’t earn at least that much is either from a different class background so had fewer opportunities, or screwed up the ones he had; exception for high achievement in a low paying field like literature, art, music, science.

So you’re single?

No married but divorcing. Married a guy who made $70K when we met (as did I). He makes >$500K now. I am still leaving him.

The irony is that you don't even see the irony!

The irony is you don't know what irony means.

[Anonymous]

I make $70k and my DH makes $100k. We are both academics with family money so no debt and a good quality of life despite not making that much.

That being said, I would not have considered dating and marrying someone without an advanced degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make $70k and my DH makes $100k. We are both academics with family money so no debt and a good quality of life despite not making that much.

That being said, I would not have considered dating and marrying someone without an advanced degree.

Or family money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

So at 50 making $200K you would date somebody making $65K because they have potential?

Yes, my kids will be graduating college when I am 50, so I can date a man making 30k/year no problem. But before that, 300k please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

So at 50 making $200K you would date somebody making $65K because they have potential?

The hypothetical is off for a few reasons. $65K in 2008 would be closer to $90K in 2022 adjusting for inflation. Plus, if you are dating at 50 there are significantly more concerns than just salary - with the most obvious being your age. Your dating pool at 50 is significantly smaller, particularly if you are a 50 year old female. More than likely, you would be looking at 60+ males who may or may not be retired. That assessment is a totally different bag as you are at end of career and not beginning. And you are not necessarily looking for someone to help you raise kids together.

You're comparing apples to oranges, PP.

I did not compare anything. I pointed out how silly it is to say you don’t care about salary because you dated a 25 yo making $65K all because of love … you magically got lucky to get $600K in the end. It’s just silly talk.

[Anonymous]

Woman here, I make over 200k and met a nice guy recently, he works in nonprofit and makes about 70k. He told me he never chose a job because of money but purpose, he loves what he does and doesn’t care about material things. He is educated, purpose driven and the kindest person I know, very compassionate and a great partner. Ive been trying to think about if this would work long term and what it would look like. Would appreciate comments from women who have been or are in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all this women who have an abundance of dating choices that they get to filter out by salary? Do women in DC metro have that many options these days?

It wasn't like that in the 2000s when I was dating. I married a man in 2008 who made $65K. We now make HHI $600k.

You know that you can date and marry someone that you love, and then grow together, right? No wonder everyone is so miserable.

So at 50 making $200K you would date somebody making $65K because they have potential?

Yes, my kids will be graduating college when I am 50, so I can date a man making 30k/year no problem. But before that, 300k please.

Because you like supporting men, can’t even pay a mortgage on $30K.

And are you saying if you dated a man before your kids graduated college you need more $ because he would pay their tuition? 🤔