The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love this letter to Dr. Laura in response to her opinion that gay people are "mistakes of nature."

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

NP. I think the point about menstruating women is brilliant and a sign that women had a hand in authoring these laws. Who wouldn’t want to lie in a hammock and not be touched for a week? Brilliant!

Unfortunately the practice of exclusion was a much uglier reality. Women frequently died or were victims of assault during exclusion periods. It sounds nice but it was a terrible practice in reality.

There are still places that practice that, and it is pretty awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love this letter to Dr. Laura in response to her opinion that gay people are "mistakes of nature."

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

NP. I think the point about menstruating women is brilliant and a sign that women had a hand in authoring these laws. Who wouldn’t want to lie in a hammock and not be touched for a week? Brilliant!

Unfortunately the practice of exclusion was a much uglier reality. Women frequently died or were victims of assault during exclusion periods. It sounds nice but it was a terrible practice in reality.

OMG seriously? I didn’t know that. Why were they assaulted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I am not a troll and as I nust stated above I found this book interesting and made me aware to be less self centered snd more grateful in my marriage. I live in US but I am originally from an other country so when I picked up the book I didn’t know about the controversies and the cultural wars surronding the author. I just wanted a feed back from other women who read the book because, until not long ago, I could have published a post full of complaints about my spouse too. This book is helping ME and MY marriage. Maybe could help somebody else too but instead of a respectful discussion about the content of the book, the thread is mutating in a very aggressive dems vs reps war. I don’t care about politics, or taking sides; this is not what this thread was intended to be!!

I hear you op. I get it. People on DCUM can’t help themselves. We live in an “outrage culture”, and if people see an opportunity to be offended, they’ll take it.

I used to listen to Dr Laura, way back in the day, and read her books. I think there’s a lot of good info in her books and I certainly found some nuggets of wisdom. DCUM just isn’t capable of separating the work from the person or discussing this sort of thing, unfortunately. Sorry about that.

That is not true. I can't speak for others, but I don't see people saying "Dr. Laura is wrong about some things so anything she says is wrong." She says a number of things that you can call "nuggets of wisdom," like (and I just googled this), "make decisions from the strong part of you, not the weak." Great! But Dr. Laura also says a lot of things that are potentially damaging, like "Men are very easy to get along with--they just want to come home to something pleasant." No, some men are intentionally abusive and want control, and if a woman who has been gaslit reads that, she's going to think that if something is wrong, she just needs to try harder, continuing the abusive cycle. Or "men are very easy--you treat them well, they behave right. You don't treat them well, and they don't behave right." No, you cannot manipulate a man into behaving. You can only control your own behavior (which she also says, so some of her advice is contradictory).

I often think people can be wrong but you can take the good and leave that bad. But in the case of Dr. Laura, that's a dicey proposition. If somebody reads those things and thinks they're making her marriage better, I frankly don't take it at face value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I am not a troll and as I nust stated above I found this book interesting and made me aware to be less self centered snd more grateful in my marriage. I live in US but I am originally from an other country so when I picked up the book I didn’t know about the controversies and the cultural wars surronding the author. I just wanted a feed back from other women who read the book because, until not long ago, I could have published a post full of complaints about my spouse too. This book is helping ME and MY marriage. Maybe could help somebody else too but instead of a respectful discussion about the content of the book, the thread is mutating in a very aggressive dems vs reps war. I don’t care about politics, or taking sides; this is not what this thread was intended to be!!

I hear you op. I get it. People on DCUM can’t help themselves. We live in an “outrage culture”, and if people see an opportunity to be offended, they’ll take it.

I used to listen to Dr Laura, way back in the day, and read her books. I think there’s a lot of good info in her books and I certainly found some nuggets of wisdom. DCUM just isn’t capable of separating the work from the person or discussing this sort of thing, unfortunately. Sorry about that.

I listened to her back in the early 90s. Is that what you mean by "back in the day"? I basically hatel-listened back then too. She was always self-righteous and full of awful advice, most of which she didn't follow herself.

+1 she's a known right wing nutjob and pushes "conservative" values that she doesn't even follow herself.

-former right winger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women hate men on here so you won’t find them liking the advice.

I think most of those books in general are silly, but I have a very traditional marriage. I enjoy taking care of my husband pleasing and that includes cooking for him, sex usually whenever he wants, and alone time for him and us as a couple. In return he is a provider for our family. This doesn’t mean he is lazy - he does a lot of cooking, cleaning, and helping raise our kids, but I do think we have more defined roles and it works for us. He supports and respects me and I do the same for him. You would be surprised how easy supportive and loving a husband is when he has a wife who appreciates and respects him.

omg.. this made me barf. But, ok, you do you.

-signed happily married for 20 yrs woman

To each their own but it works for us. Some women actually enjoy being caretakers for their family. Sounds like you’re not one of them. I’m glad you felt like you needed to respond like a 5 year old. It shows your level of maturity.

troll

I don't think the cringe-worthy poster is a troll. There are people out there like this. If it works for them, fine. But it's cringe-worthy.

Why is it cringe-worthy? A couple who supports each other (in different but important ways) and love and respect each other. It sounds nice to me.

[Anonymous]

I have only skimmed this thread and do not care one iota about Dr. Laura or her book, but I have successfully managed a husband and many, many male bosses by making them think they are god's gift to the earth, and that only I can help them achieve their goals (which, I of course, fed them).

- feminist, strong-willed, intelligent, millenial woman who makes a lot of money and lives an extremely happy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have only skimmed this thread and do not care one iota about Dr. Laura or her book, but I have successfully managed a husband and many, many male bosses by making them think they are god's gift to the earth, and that only I can help them achieve their goals (which, I of course, fed them).

- feminist, strong-willed, intelligent, millenial woman who makes a lot of money and lives an extremely happy life.

Hey more power to you but that’s not how a healthy romantic relationship works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women hate men on here so you won’t find them liking the advice.

I think most of those books in general are silly, but I have a very traditional marriage. I enjoy taking care of my husband pleasing and that includes cooking for him, sex usually whenever he wants, and alone time for him and us as a couple. In return he is a provider for our family. This doesn’t mean he is lazy - he does a lot of cooking, cleaning, and helping raise our kids, but I do think we have more defined roles and it works for us. He supports and respects me and I do the same for him. You would be surprised how easy supportive and loving a husband is when he has a wife who appreciates and respects him.

omg.. this made me barf. But, ok, you do you.

-signed happily married for 20 yrs woman

To each their own but it works for us. Some women actually enjoy being caretakers for their family. Sounds like you’re not one of them. I’m glad you felt like you needed to respond like a 5 year old. It shows your level of maturity.

troll

I don't think the cringe-worthy poster is a troll. There are people out there like this. If it works for them, fine. But it's cringe-worthy.

Why is it cringe-worthy? A couple who supports each other (in different but important ways) and love and respect each other. It sounds nice to me.

The fact that I have to explain why the post sounds cringe-worthy makes me cringe.

My DH and I support each other -- we both work, we both cook, we both do laundry, though I am the one who keeps track of when the laundry needs to be done. DH does 90% of the grocery shopping. I make 50% of our HHI. DH does half if not more of the pickups/drop offs.

I manage all the finances and taxes, which is complicated due to our situation.

At one point, I was a sahm, and I did all the housechores, childcare, grocery shopping, even ironed his work shirts. And that was fine. I chose to do it, but I would not say it's my way of "supporting DH". It was "our" way of lessening the stress of our homelife.

The words "supporting my DH" by cooking his food, cleaning up after him, doing his laundry makes it sound like you are his maid, and him "providing for you" makes it sound very transactional, and very very old fashioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have only skimmed this thread and do not care one iota about Dr. Laura or her book, but I have successfully managed a husband and many, many male bosses by making them think they are god's gift to the earth, and that only I can help them achieve their goals (which, I of course, fed them).

- feminist, strong-willed, intelligent, millenial woman who makes a lot of money and lives an extremely happy life.

Hey more power to you but that’s not how a healthy romantic relationship works.

Says you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have only skimmed this thread and do not care one iota about Dr. Laura or her book, but I have successfully managed a husband and many, many male bosses by making them think they are god's gift to the earth, and that only I can help them achieve their goals (which, I of course, fed them).

- feminist, strong-willed, intelligent, millenial woman who makes a lot of money and lives an extremely happy life.

Hey more power to you but that’s not how a healthy romantic relationship works.

Says you.

No says lots of people who are way more knowledgeable in healthy relationships than Dr. Laura and random posters on this thread. But if you don’t want to believe that, say, John Gottman has a better idea of what a healthy romantic relationship is, that’s your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have only skimmed this thread and do not care one iota about Dr. Laura or her book, but I have successfully managed a husband and many, many male bosses by making them think they are god's gift to the earth, and that only I can help them achieve their goals (which, I of course, fed them).

- feminist, strong-willed, intelligent, millenial woman who makes a lot of money and lives an extremely happy life.

Hey more power to you but that’s not how a healthy romantic relationship works.

Says you.

DP.. you're basically manipulating them into thinking something differently than what is exactly happening. How is that healthy? In the workplace, who cares.. but with your spouse? That doesn't sound like a healthy marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women hate men on here so you won’t find them liking the advice.

I think most of those books in general are silly, but I have a very traditional marriage. I enjoy taking care of my husband pleasing and that includes cooking for him, sex usually whenever he wants, and alone time for him and us as a couple. In return he is a provider for our family. This doesn’t mean he is lazy - he does a lot of cooking, cleaning, and helping raise our kids, but I do think we have more defined roles and it works for us. He supports and respects me and I do the same for him. You would be surprised how easy supportive and loving a husband is when he has a wife who appreciates and respects him.

omg.. this made me barf. But, ok, you do you.

-signed happily married for 20 yrs woman

To each their own but it works for us. Some women actually enjoy being caretakers for their family. Sounds like you’re not one of them. I’m glad you felt like you needed to respond like a 5 year old. It shows your level of maturity.

troll

I don't think the cringe-worthy poster is a troll. There are people out there like this. If it works for them, fine. But it's cringe-worthy.

Why is it cringe-worthy? A couple who supports each other (in different but important ways) and love and respect each other. It sounds nice to me.

The fact that I have to explain why the post sounds cringe-worthy makes me cringe.

My DH and I support each other -- we both work, we both cook, we both do laundry, though I am the one who keeps track of when the laundry needs to be done. DH does 90% of the grocery shopping. I make 50% of our HHI. DH does half if not more of the pickups/drop offs.

I manage all the finances and taxes, which is complicated due to our situation.

At one point, I was a sahm, and I did all the housechores, childcare, grocery shopping, even ironed his work shirts. And that was fine. I chose to do it, but I would not say it's my way of "supporting DH". It was "our" way of lessening the stress of our homelife.

The words "supporting my DH" by cooking his food, cleaning up after him, doing his laundry makes it sound like you are his maid, and him "providing for you" makes it sound very transactional, and very very old fashioned.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women hate men on here so you won’t find them liking the advice.

I think most of those books in general are silly, but I have a very traditional marriage. I enjoy taking care of my husband pleasing and that includes cooking for him, sex usually whenever he wants, and alone time for him and us as a couple. In return he is a provider for our family. This doesn’t mean he is lazy - he does a lot of cooking, cleaning, and helping raise our kids, but I do think we have more defined roles and it works for us. He supports and respects me and I do the same for him. You would be surprised how easy supportive and loving a husband is when he has a wife who appreciates and respects him.

omg.. this made me barf. But, ok, you do you.

-signed happily married for 20 yrs woman

To each their own but it works for us. Some women actually enjoy being caretakers for their family. Sounds like you’re not one of them. I’m glad you felt like you needed to respond like a 5 year old. It shows your level of maturity.

troll

I don't think the cringe-worthy poster is a troll. There are people out there like this. If it works for them, fine. But it's cringe-worthy.

Why is it cringe-worthy? A couple who supports each other (in different but important ways) and love and respect each other. It sounds nice to me.

The fact that I have to explain why the post sounds cringe-worthy makes me cringe.

My DH and I support each other -- we both work, we both cook, we both do laundry, though I am the one who keeps track of when the laundry needs to be done. DH does 90% of the grocery shopping. I make 50% of our HHI. DH does half if not more of the pickups/drop offs.

I manage all the finances and taxes, which is complicated due to our situation.

At one point, I was a sahm, and I did all the housechores, childcare, grocery shopping, even ironed his work shirts. And that was fine. I chose to do it, but I would not say it's my way of "supporting DH". It was "our" way of lessening the stress of our homelife.

The words "supporting my DH" by cooking his food, cleaning up after him, doing his laundry makes it sound like you are his maid, and him "providing for you" makes it sound very transactional, and very very old fashioned.

I am not the original poster of that comment, but you are either deliberately misreading what she wrote or projecting your own insecurities. She said her husband does a lot of the cooking, cleaning, and child raising. She also says he supports and respects her. As far as I can tell, the only difference between your post and hers is that it appears she is a SAHM, and she explicitly said she likes taking care of her husband in certain traditional ways -- mainly by cooking. I honestly cannot see why that would be cringeworthy, unless you invent some groveling, slavish caricature. But that invention seems more driven by your own issues than anything in her post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women hate men on here so you won’t find them liking the advice.

I think most of those books in general are silly, but I have a very traditional marriage. I enjoy taking care of my husband pleasing and that includes cooking for him, sex usually whenever he wants, and alone time for him and us as a couple. In return he is a provider for our family. This doesn’t mean he is lazy - he does a lot of cooking, cleaning, and helping raise our kids, but I do think we have more defined roles and it works for us. He supports and respects me and I do the same for him. You would be surprised how easy supportive and loving a husband is when he has a wife who appreciates and respects him.

omg.. this made me barf. But, ok, you do you.

-signed happily married for 20 yrs woman

To each their own but it works for us. Some women actually enjoy being caretakers for their family. Sounds like you’re not one of them. I’m glad you felt like you needed to respond like a 5 year old. It shows your level of maturity.

troll

I don't think the cringe-worthy poster is a troll. There are people out there like this. If it works for them, fine. But it's cringe-worthy.

Why is it cringe-worthy? A couple who supports each other (in different but important ways) and love and respect each other. It sounds nice to me.

The fact that I have to explain why the post sounds cringe-worthy makes me cringe.

My DH and I support each other -- we both work, we both cook, we both do laundry, though I am the one who keeps track of when the laundry needs to be done. DH does 90% of the grocery shopping. I make 50% of our HHI. DH does half if not more of the pickups/drop offs.

I manage all the finances and taxes, which is complicated due to our situation.

At one point, I was a sahm, and I did all the housechores, childcare, grocery shopping, even ironed his work shirts. And that was fine. I chose to do it, but I would not say it's my way of "supporting DH". It was "our" way of lessening the stress of our homelife.

The words "supporting my DH" by cooking his food, cleaning up after him, doing his laundry makes it sound like you are his maid, and him "providing for you" makes it sound very transactional, and very very old fashioned.

I am not the original poster of that comment, but you are either deliberately misreading what she wrote or projecting your own insecurities. She said her husband does a lot of the cooking, cleaning, and child raising. She also says he supports and respects her. As far as I can tell, the only difference between your post and hers is that it appears she is a SAHM, and she explicitly said she likes taking care of her husband in certain traditional ways -- mainly by cooking. I honestly cannot see why that would be cringeworthy, unless you invent some groveling, slavish caricature. But that invention seems more driven by your own issues than anything in her post.

NP. No way. “I enjoy taking care of my husband and pleasing him, including having sex when he wants, and in return he provides for our family.” It’s not slavish but “cringey” is the perfect word to describe that sentence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what you want about her, but a lot of things she says are true, but people don't want to admit it.

Everybody has some good points but yes liberals won't acknowledge anything good in conservative values and vice versa. No surprise in that.

She is married and divorced in 3 years.
Had an affair with a married man, live with him in sin for 10 years and only married him when she got knocked up.
She is estranged from her mother and sister.

How is that conservative values?