The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women hate men on here so you won’t find them liking the advice.

I think most of those books in general are silly, but I have a very traditional marriage. I enjoy taking care of my husband pleasing and that includes cooking for him, sex usually whenever he wants, and alone time for him and us as a couple. In return he is a provider for our family. This doesn’t mean he is lazy - he does a lot of cooking, cleaning, and helping raise our kids, but I do think we have more defined roles and it works for us. He supports and respects me and I do the same for him. You would be surprised how easy supportive and loving a husband is when he has a wife who appreciates and respects him.

omg.. this made me barf. But, ok, you do you.

-signed happily married for 20 yrs woman

To each their own but it works for us. Some women actually enjoy being caretakers for their family. Sounds like you’re not one of them. I’m glad you felt like you needed to respond like a 5 year old. It shows your level of maturity.

troll

I don't think the cringe-worthy poster is a troll. There are people out there like this. If it works for them, fine. But it's cringe-worthy.

Why is it cringe-worthy? A couple who supports each other (in different but important ways) and love and respect each other. It sounds nice to me.

The fact that I have to explain why the post sounds cringe-worthy makes me cringe.

My DH and I support each other -- we both work, we both cook, we both do laundry, though I am the one who keeps track of when the laundry needs to be done. DH does 90% of the grocery shopping. I make 50% of our HHI. DH does half if not more of the pickups/drop offs.

I manage all the finances and taxes, which is complicated due to our situation.

At one point, I was a sahm, and I did all the housechores, childcare, grocery shopping, even ironed his work shirts. And that was fine. I chose to do it, but I would not say it's my way of "supporting DH". It was "our" way of lessening the stress of our homelife.

The words "supporting my DH" by cooking his food, cleaning up after him, doing his laundry makes it sound like you are his maid, and him "providing for you" makes it sound very transactional, and very very old fashioned.

I am not the original poster of that comment, but you are either deliberately misreading what she wrote or projecting your own insecurities. She said her husband does a lot of the cooking, cleaning, and child raising. She also says he supports and respects her. As far as I can tell, the only difference between your post and hers is that it appears she is a SAHM, and she explicitly said she likes taking care of her husband in certain traditional ways -- mainly by cooking. I honestly cannot see why that would be cringeworthy, unless you invent some groveling, slavish caricature. But that invention seems more driven by your own issues than anything in her post.

NP. No way. “I enjoy taking care of my husband and pleasing him, including having sex when he wants, and in return he provides for our family.” It’s not slavish but “cringey” is the perfect word to describe that sentence.

OK, well, I guess we will just have to disagree on that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here, I am not a troll and as I nust stated above I found this book interesting and made me aware to be less self centered snd more grateful in my marriage. I live in US but I am originally from an other country so when I picked up the book I didn’t know about the controversies and the cultural wars surronding the author. I just wanted a feed back from other women who read the book because, until not long ago, I could have published a post full of complaints about my spouse too. This book is helping ME and MY marriage. Maybe could help somebody else too but instead of a respectful discussion about the content of the book, the thread is mutating in a very aggressive dems vs reps war. I don’t care about politics, or taking sides; this is not what this thread was intended to be!!

I hear you op. I get it. People on DCUM can’t help themselves. We live in an “outrage culture”, and if people see an opportunity to be offended, they’ll take it.

I used to listen to Dr Laura, way back in the day, and read her books. I think there’s a lot of good info in her books and I certainly found some nuggets of wisdom. DCUM just isn’t capable of separating the work from the person or discussing this sort of thing, unfortunately. Sorry about that.

I listened to her back in the early 90s. Is that what you mean by "back in the day"? I basically hatel-listened back then too. She was always self-righteous and full of awful advice, most of which she didn't follow herself.

+1 she's a known right wing nutjob and pushes "conservative" values that she doesn't even follow herself.

-former right winger

This. Here's her stellar marital history. WHat a joke!

From wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Schlessinger


Schlessinger met and married Michael F. Rudolph, a dentist, in 1972 while she was attending Columbia University. The couple had a Unitarian ceremony.[69] Separating from Rudolph, Schlessinger moved to Encino, California in 1975, when she obtained a job in the science department at the University of Southern California.[70] Their divorce was finalized in 1977.[71]

In 1975, while working in the labs at USC, she met Lewis G. Bishop, a professor of neurophysiology, who was married and the father of three children.[2][72] Bishop separated from his wife and began living with Schlessinger the same year.[73] Schlessinger has vociferously proclaimed her disapproval of unwed couples "shacking up" and having children out of wedlock. According to her friend Shelly Herman, "Laura lived with Lew for about nine years before she was married to him."[2] His divorce was final in 1979.[74] Bishop and Schlessinger married in 1985.[75] Herman says that Schlessinger told her she was pregnant at the time, which Herman recalls as "particularly joyful because of the happy news."[2] Schlessinger's only child, a son named Deryk, was born in November 1985.[76] Schlessinger's husband died November 2, 2015, after being ill for 1.5 years.[citation needed]

Schlessinger was estranged from her sister for years, and many thought she was an only child.[2] She had not spoken to her mother for 18[77] to 20 years before her mother's death in 2002 from heart disease.[15] Her mother's remains were found in her Beverly Hills condo about two months after she died,[78][79] and lay unclaimed for some time in the Los Angeles morgue before Schlessinger had them picked up for burial.[80] Concerning the day that she heard about her mother's death, she said: "Apparently she had no friends and none of her neighbors were close, so nobody even noticed! How sad."[15][dead link][80] In 2006, Schlessinger wrote that she had been attacked in a "vulgar, inhumane manner by media types" because of the circumstances surrounding her mother's death, and that false allegations had been made that she was unfit to dispense advice based on family values. She said that she had not mourned the deaths of either of her parents because she had no emotional bond to them.[13][15]

[Anonymous]

I don’t care about her personal life, I care about the content of her book. Would you refuse a pearl from a dirty, repugnant hand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what you want about her, but a lot of things she says are true, but people don't want to admit it.

Everybody has some good points but yes liberals won't acknowledge anything good in conservative values and vice versa. No surprise in that.

She is married and divorced in 3 years.
Had an affair with a married man, live with him in sin for 10 years and only married him when she got knocked up.
She is estranged from her mother and sister.

How is that conservative values?

Conservatives are consistently the worst offenders of what they loudly denounce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about her personal life, I care about the content of her book. Would you refuse a pearl from a dirty, repugnant hand?

When it's a hand covered in pig sh!t, I absolutely would refuse it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about her personal life, I care about the content of her book. Would you refuse a pearl from a dirty, repugnant hand?

When it's a hand covered in pig sh!t, I absolutely would refuse it.

Did you eat eggs for breakfast? Trust the farm girl, they don’t come out from the hen’s butt as clean as you see them in the supermarket… 😅

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what you want about her, but a lot of things she says are true, but people don't want to admit it.

Everybody has some good points but yes liberals won't acknowledge anything good in conservative values and vice versa. No surprise in that.

She is married and divorced in 3 years.
Had an affair with a married man, live with him in sin for 10 years and only married him when she got knocked up.
She is estranged from her mother and sister.

How is that conservative values?

She’s a prime example of conservative values! I mean, all her husbands are men, aren’t they? And she has a whole bunch of kids. And she probably prayed about it all, repented, and asked for forgiveness. Blah blah we’re all sinners. And voila, conservative goals achieved!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care about her personal life, I care about the content of her book. Would you refuse a pearl from a dirty, repugnant hand?

When it's a hand covered in pig sh!t, I absolutely would refuse it.

Especially if you can get pearls of better quality from clean hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what you want about her, but a lot of things she says are true, but people don't want to admit it.

Everybody has some good points but yes liberals won't acknowledge anything good in conservative values and vice versa. No surprise in that.

Didn't she have a 9 year affair with a married man that broke his marriage? Is this a "good conservative value"? Same with the gubernatorial candidate from OR who is married and a swinger.

Because liberals hold such moral high ground? You forget most of the predators in Hollywood and politicians are liberals.

+1

Much higher and we're also not hypocrites. Remember when Duggar wife was living robocalls about family values and her husband candidacy as a family man while he was watching videos of infant baby girls being sexually abused, burned with cigarettes etc? What about those conservative values?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women hate men on here so you won’t find them liking the advice.

I think most of those books in general are silly, but I have a very traditional marriage. I enjoy taking care of my husband pleasing and that includes cooking for him, sex usually whenever he wants, and alone time for him and us as a couple. In return he is a provider for our family. This doesn’t mean he is lazy - he does a lot of cooking, cleaning, and helping raise our kids, but I do think we have more defined roles and it works for us. He supports and respects me and I do the same for him. You would be surprised how easy supportive and loving a husband is when he has a wife who appreciates and respects him.

omg.. this made me barf. But, ok, you do you.

-signed happily married for 20 yrs woman

To each their own but it works for us. Some women actually enjoy being caretakers for their family. Sounds like you’re not one of them. I’m glad you felt like you needed to respond like a 5 year old. It shows your level of maturity.

troll

I don't think the cringe-worthy poster is a troll. There are people out there like this. If it works for them, fine. But it's cringe-worthy.

Why is it cringe-worthy? A couple who supports each other (in different but important ways) and love and respect each other. It sounds nice to me.

The fact that I have to explain why the post sounds cringe-worthy makes me cringe.

My DH and I support each other -- we both work, we both cook, we both do laundry, though I am the one who keeps track of when the laundry needs to be done. DH does 90% of the grocery shopping. I make 50% of our HHI. DH does half if not more of the pickups/drop offs.

I manage all the finances and taxes, which is complicated due to our situation.

At one point, I was a sahm, and I did all the housechores, childcare, grocery shopping, even ironed his work shirts. And that was fine. I chose to do it, but I would not say it's my way of "supporting DH". It was "our" way of lessening the stress of our homelife.

The words "supporting my DH" by cooking his food, cleaning up after him, doing his laundry makes it sound like you are his maid, and him "providing for you" makes it sound very transactional, and very very old fashioned.

Most SHAMS i know, are more like queens with complete control on finances and maid/gardener/babysitter to help. I think there is a whole spectrum of SAHMs, we try to paint them as one to prove our point.

[Anonymous]

She’s a prime example of conservative values! I mean, all her husbands are men, aren’t they? And she has a whole bunch of kids. And she probably prayed about it all, repented, and asked for forgiveness. Blah blah we’re all sinners. And voila, conservative goals achieved!

This cracked me up, PP, bravo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have only skimmed this thread and do not care one iota about Dr. Laura or her book, but I have successfully managed a husband and many, many male bosses by making them think they are god's gift to the earth, and that only I can help them achieve their goals (which, I of course, fed them).

- feminist, strong-willed, intelligent, millenial woman who makes a lot of money and lives an extremely happy life.

Hey more power to you but that’s not how a healthy romantic relationship works.

Says you.

No says lots of people who are way more knowledgeable in healthy relationships than Dr. Laura and random posters on this thread. But if you don’t want to believe that, say, John Gottman has a better idea of what a healthy romantic relationship is, that’s your business.

John Gottman also had three wives, so do as i say not as i do.

[Anonymous]

No true conservative considers her a personal role model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No true conservative considers her a personal role model.

Why is so hard to keep separated the content of the book from the personal life of the author?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else is reading this book by Dr Laura Schlessinger? I think it is helping with my marriage

The title seems to be likening husbands to animals. As far as I am concerned, no need to read any further.