Can cheating be justified?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if cheating is fine if one spouse gets hotter, is it also fine if one spouse is emotionally neglecting the other? He gained over 200 lbs also, addiction issues, emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive, not who she married at all

Tbh, any kind of abuse = not cheating imo
Any kind of major physical/mental/behavioral change they won't deal with = not cheating
Addiction = not cheating

[Anonymous]

What if in a body swap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with this question is that people's views on affairs differ from "you should try to be faithful but cheating isn't the worst thing you can do" to "it should be criminalized and cheaters should carry a scarlet letter as it inflicts trauma worse than physical abuse."

If you are in the first camp, lots of reasons justify cheating, if in the second, there are very few if any.

NO. There is another view.

Cheating is wrong, it should not be criminalized, you hurt your family, you do damage to your children that will last them a lifetime, you should own that but not wear a scarlet A, accept that you are flawed and therapy could help or you will probably repeat your mistakes with the next relationship. It's wrong and selfish own it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if cheating is fine if one spouse gets hotter, is it also fine if one spouse is emotionally neglecting the other? He gained over 200 lbs also, addiction issues, emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive, not who she married at all

I wouldn't fault you. Seriously, at some point, people abandon their claim on their partner's sexual fidelity. Becoming grossly obese, suffering from addictions, being abusive, all of those break the marital contract. The idea that you know must suffer even more by losing access to your kids is rediculous.

I think there is one or two betrayed women on here that are quick to respond that cheating is never acceptable. I understand their point of view, really, I would hate to be betrayed and have people wondering if it was because I did something to cause my DH to have sex with another. Easier to see the world in black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if cheating is fine if one spouse gets hotter, is it also fine if one spouse is emotionally neglecting the other? He gained over 200 lbs also, addiction issues, emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive, not who she married at all

I wouldn't fault you. Seriously, at some point, people abandon their claim on their partner's sexual fidelity. Becoming grossly obese, suffering from addictions, being abusive, all of those break the marital contract. The idea that you know must suffer even more by losing access to your kids is rediculous.

I think there is one or two betrayed women on here that are quick to respond that cheating is never acceptable. I understand their point of view, really, I would hate to be betrayed and have people wondering if it was because I did something to cause my DH to have sex with another. Easier to see the world in black and white.

Cheating is always what’s inside a cheater. Man, Elizabeth Hurley, Beyoncé, J-LO, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer, Garner, etc. are all dogs and unaccomplished.

Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if cheating is fine if one spouse gets hotter, is it also fine if one spouse is emotionally neglecting the other? He gained over 200 lbs also, addiction issues, emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive, not who she married at all

I wouldn't fault you. Seriously, at some point, people abandon their claim on their partner's sexual fidelity. Becoming grossly obese, suffering from addictions, being abusive, all of those break the marital contract. The idea that you know must suffer even more by losing access to your kids is rediculous.

I think there is one or two betrayed women on here that are quick to respond that cheating is never acceptable. I understand their point of view, really, I would hate to be betrayed and have people wondering if it was because I did something to cause my DH to have sex with another. Easier to see the world in black and white.

Cheating is always what’s inside a cheater. Man, Elizabeth Hurley, Beyoncé, J-LO, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer, Garner, etc. are all dogs and unaccomplished.

Give me a break.

Yeah. Much easier for an AP to believe there is something wrong with his wife/marriage than that they are banging a liar with deep issues and zero plan to have anything more than sex with them.

[Anonymous]

You probably shouldn't cheat but I definitely do not feel sorry for the spouse they got cheated on if they imposed a sexless marriage. What do they think was going to happen?!?

[Anonymous]

No. Every single excuse can be effectively countered with " then get a divorce."

Some people might try to counter with "but the kids, the expense, the health insurance, blah blah blah...." what that means is that they aren't unhappy enough in their marriage to actually do anything about it, but they are passive aggressive enough to lie to their spouse, gaslight them, expose them to STDds, and steal time and resources away from the family for the affair.

They may be able to live with themselves, but they are still shitty people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cheating is justified if one party becomes much more attractive over the course of the relationship/marriage. That could result from the wife getting really fat after kids, which is not what the husband married.

Less often two people are in a starter marriage. They get married out of college, then the husband goes to law school. He makes really good connections and his career takes off. Women who would have never looked twice now throw themselves at him. Think of it as like an American soccer player who starts off with DC United. He develops beyond all expectations and now Barcelona and Man City are sniffing around. Is he really supposed to say “sorry, I’m committed to…DC UNITED.”!? Obviously that’s ridiculous. He’ll just stagnate if he stays in a place beneath him. He needs to move on with a woman who looks like a successful on the rise BigLaw attorney’s wife.

Actually, someone like you should never get married. It's not in you to really commit and so should stay single. I wish you would give training to younger men like you that they should stay single all their life as well (probably a good idea to not have kids either because I doubt you can worry a bit less about you in order to take care of the kids).

[Anonymous]

Sexless marriages don't happen in a vacuum, Angry Incel Guy. Your wife isn't having sex with you because you are an intolerable moron. That happened first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Every single excuse can be effectively countered with " then get a divorce."

Some people might try to counter with "but the kids, the expense, the health insurance, blah blah blah...." what that means is that they aren't unhappy enough in their marriage to actually do anything about it, but they are passive aggressive enough to lie to their spouse, gaslight them, expose them to STDds, and steal time and resources away from the family for the affair.

They may be able to live with themselves, but they are still shitty people.

+1000. This! Every single excuse can be countered with "then get a divorce" but then who will take care of home, kids, and finances?

[Anonymous]

My friend at work is married to a miserable woman. No one likes her, she is rude to him and controlling. He is sooo attractive too, I don't know how men end up with women like her. If he cheated, good for him. It's justified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if cheating is fine if one spouse gets hotter, is it also fine if one spouse is emotionally neglecting the other? He gained over 200 lbs also, addiction issues, emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive, not who she married at all

I wouldn't fault you. Seriously, at some point, people abandon their claim on their partner's sexual fidelity. Becoming grossly obese, suffering from addictions, being abusive, all of those break the marital contract. The idea that you know must suffer even more by losing access to your kids is rediculous.

I think there is one or two betrayed women on here that are quick to respond that cheating is never acceptable. I understand their point of view, really, I would hate to be betrayed and have people wondering if it was because I did something to cause my DH to have sex with another. Easier to see the world in black and white.

Cheating is always what’s inside a cheater. Man, Elizabeth Hurley, Beyoncé, J-LO, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer, Garner, etc. are all dogs and unaccomplished.

Give me a break.

Yeah. Much easier for an AP to believe there is something wrong with his wife/marriage than that they are banging a liar with deep issues and zero plan to have anything more than sex with them.

Yep. Cheating is not about wife/situation. It's about the cheater.

[Anonymous]

If you stop viewing the world as black and white, right and wrong, and good and bad then it can sometimes be understood.

[Anonymous]

What if you have a disabled spouse, a special needs child and you are the sole breadwinner. Celibacy for life, divorce and leave people vulnerable or cheating? Which is least worst option?