Can cheating be justified?

[Anonymous]

What do you think?

Specifically thinking about situations with abuse (physical or not), addiction, a "loveless marriage," things of that nature.

Would an emotional affair be better or worse than a physical relationship?

Genuinely just curious what you all think!

[Anonymous]

When did the Relationship Forum turn into the Cheating Forum?

[Anonymous]

No. It cannot.

No matter how bad a situation, it is never justified.

[Anonymous]

Like when your spouse is a vegetable in assisted care home?

[Anonymous]

No. Divorce first. Be honest.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is not capable of thinking in any other terms but black & white on this subject so you'll get tons of nos.

I happen to think it can be.

[Anonymous]

Yes. One situation that comes to mind is one spouse refusing sex.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but obviously there are consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think?

Specifically thinking about situations with abuse (physical or not), addiction, a "loveless marriage," things of that nature.

Would an emotional affair be better or worse than a physical relationship?

Genuinely just curious what you all think!

This is a difficult topic. In theory, I think the answer is yes. In practice, once it is commonly accepted that the answer is yes, all sorts of people who aren’t justified in cheating will use that as an excuse, and people on the fence who might not have cheated otherwise might decide to, causing harm. So I think it’s best if “cheating is really bad” remains the general social consensus, but not to be so judgmental of people who have cheated who might have had reasonable cause, in a low-key way after the fact.

[Anonymous]

My sister was emotionally and physically abused by her husband. She had an affair that gave her the confidence to leave. I think it was not only justified but necessary. Assume people other than the Taliban and the anti-cheating fanatics on here would agree

[Anonymous]

Most people can imagine scenarios where cheating is justified.

There are some absolutists on here but why argue with them? There are people who think the moon landing was fake, the election was stolen, etc. It's about as productive an argument trying to win them over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like when your spouse is a vegetable in assisted care home?

I think this is probably the most extreme situation. You're not cheating if your spouse isn't a conscious, functioning human.
But I was going to say I have heard about husbands and wives finding lovers while their existing spouse goes through the final stages of terminal illness, sometimes with the blessing of that unwell spouse. Nigella Lawson did it and publicly admitted it - but that's the UK where "cheating" isn't such a damnable offense as it is here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did the Relationship Forum turn into the Cheating Forum?

Two most common problems are sex/infidelity and money. Most people on here skew on the wealthier side so that isn't as common. And if you are married to wealthy, educated men, their options to cheat go up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister was emotionally and physically abused by her husband. She had an affair that gave her the confidence to leave. I think it was not only justified but necessary. Assume people other than the Taliban and the anti-cheating fanatics on here would agree

And if he found out he would have killed her.0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister was emotionally and physically abused by her husband. She had an affair that gave her the confidence to leave. I think it was not only justified but necessary. Assume people other than the Taliban and the anti-cheating fanatics on here would agree

And if he found out he would have killed her.0

He did and he didn't, but thanks for trying to shame her, Mr. Taliban.