Family Bed - How Old is Too Old?

[Anonymous]

For those of you who co-sleep, we were wondering when DC finally left the family bed?

We have two boys, ages 4 and 9. Both are still in the family bed. Yes, it is getting crowded, but no one in the household seems particularly interested in changing the set-up. Is this too much of a good thing? Is there anyone out there who has a DC still in the family bed at 10 or older?

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, your nine year old will prob just decide on her own that she is done with the family bed. I am sure that by middle school she will want her independence. A friend of mine told me that she slept in her parent's bed until the age of 12. It is considered very normal in many countries.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if you 9 yr old is a boy or girl. But one thing to consider if the child is a girl. I got my period when I was 10. That was very unusual back then, but I understand girls are developing much earlier than they used to. If your 9 yr old is a girl, it might be awkward as she starts to mature.

[Anonymous]

My 3 1/2 year old DD just moved out of our bed. I let her pick out a big girl bed and she just moved right on in. I just think she was ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who co-sleep, we were wondering when DC finally left the family bed?

We have two boys, ages 4 and 9. Both are still in the family bed. Yes, it is getting crowded, but no one in the household seems particularly interested in changing the set-up. Is this too much of a good thing? Is there anyone out there who has a DC still in the family bed at 10 or older?

To answer your first question: YES!

[Anonymous]

Because? It seems to be working okay for OP.

[Anonymous]

13:40, did you have a family bed, or are you just registering a general objection to the practice? I think it would help all with an interest on the topic if you could let us know so we can weigh your input accordingly. Don't mean to sound snarky, and I apologize if it seems that way, but I do think it's a fair question. And if the answer is yes, it would help if you could share your experience (what age DC left, how did that come about, etc.).

[Anonymous]

if your kids are developing well in all areas (emotionally etc) i would say treasure the times and keep them in your bed as long as they want to! i wish my 4 yo would still like to be with us in our bed sometimes

(another thing to consider though is whether kids at school would laugh at them for sleeping with mommy and daddy? kids can be cruel, you know)

[Anonymous]

Since you asked, I'll answer. It's time for your kids to be in their own bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you 9 yr old is a boy or girl. But one thing to consider if the child is a girl. I got my period when I was 10. That was very unusual back then, but I understand girls are developing much earlier than they used to. If your 9 yr old is a girl, it might be awkward as she starts to mature.

OP said that her children are boys.

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying this to sound judgemental but how do you have any intimacy with your husband when you co sleep with children that old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you asked, I'll answer. It's time for your kids to be in their own bed.

Because?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who co-sleep, we were wondering when DC finally left the family bed?

We have two boys, ages 4 and 9. Both are still in the family bed. Yes, it is getting crowded, but no one in the household seems particularly interested in changing the set-up. Is this too much of a good thing? Is there anyone out there who has a DC still in the family bed at 10 or older?

To anyone responding along the lines of "it's time to go," it would help if you could let us know whether you ever had a family bed sleeping arrangement or not.

Some people are just flat out opposed to it. So be it. But for those in that category to reply simply and dismissively "it's time to go," such a reply is about as helpful as a bucket of warm spit. OP and I, and apparently a few others who have already responded, and countless others out there no doubt, believe in the family bed. To try to refocus the discussion, I've included the original query above.

[Anonymous]

Nope, we never did the family bed. BUT: I used to sleep in the same bed with my brother until I was 8 years old (He was 18 months older than me) and to be honest, I never really learned how to sleep in a room by myself, up to this day I prefer to have someone sleep in the room with me.

I am not saying that this happens to all co-sleepers, but I would take it into consideration, depending on your sons' personalities. Are they able to sleep without you guys at all? If not, I would consider to face the family bed out very gradually. Maybe they could share a room (if they get along)

I personally find 9 years a little old to sleep with your parents in the same bed every night. But if it truly works for you and if you have no worries about his independence and his ability to sleep by himself, then it may be ok to wait until he is ready to leave. That will likely happen at the latest when he hits puberty.

[Anonymous]

I think they need to go to sleep in their own beds - kids at school hear these things and can be mean!