Absolutely no sex drive…and minimal sexual attraction
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Anonymous
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Perhaps maybe should be in the health section…? But read on…
40 year old woman From 22-34 I had an amazing sex drive. From 22-30, I had amazing sex with different partners. Fun times. I got married, happily, at 30 to a man who is wonderful but definitely not wild in bed. We had standard sex but frequently for 2 years then our first child was born. My sex drive never recovered after the birth of our first child 8 years ago. We never got back into it. My drive crashed, and I don’t feel crazy sexual attraction to my wonderful husband. 
We’ve had 2 children since so we do have sex but now it’s VERY infrequently. My husband is so loving and faithful. How can I get my groove back? I know I can’t get my 20s back, not with my husband at least…he likes sweet, tender sex and I prefer a bit more passionate and SLIGHTLY dirty. Any kind advice (beyond “get therapy” which is obvious) would be helpful and I’ll take it to heart. |
Anonymous
| It’s not your kid. It’s monogamy. |
Anonymous
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Welcome to adulthood.
Have you tried talking to your husband? |
Anonymous
| I am in the same boat. No drive, mismatched style in bed with husband makes it tougher. |
Anonymous
| Was in your boat. Wish I had been able to make more effort. Getting divorced now. |
Anonymous
I should add that my situation coincided with several major life crises. I was severely depressed. I did the best I could but the romantic connection was broken by all the stress. |
Anonymous
| Women amirite |
Anonymous
| Would your DH be willing to link it up even a little? |
Anonymous
| Are you on an SSRI? |
Anonymous
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Estrogen cream for you. Are you done having children? If yes, ask DH to get snipped.
Buy toys to masturbate. You lose it if you do not use it. Start with having vanilla sex with your DH more frequently. Introduce him to the sex that you like when you are actually having sex. |
Anonymous
| Ask yourself if you would feel the same if you were childless. A lot of marriages lose the sex once children arrive. I think it is because you love your children unconditionally, and that easily crowds out the very conditional love/desire you have for your partner. |
Anonymous
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Like a PP commented, it’s not your sex drive, it’s monogamy (or monotony). Small kids are libido killers like nothing else. Sex goes on the bottom of the list of priorities, especially if both parents work. There just isn’t much time each day to accomplish everything and lots of times the intimacy takes a back seat.
Hire a sitter, date your husband, do whatever it was you used to do pre-kids. Get a hotel room once a month and just be there for each other with no distractions. That will bring your libido back. Once your partner becomes invisible to you (or you to them) sexually you or they become ripe for someone else to notice them in that way. And for them to remember they have a libido. Trust me on this. |
Anonymous
| Get some lube, some very sexy lingerie, look him straight in the eye, and tell him: "I want you to fxxcm me in my axxhhole." |
Anonymous
| You said you wanted "wild" sex from your husband right OP? |
Anonymous
| So be wild. |