I told my parents that we aren't coming over for Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Well, actually, I told them that we had a menu and were preparing food, that they were welcome to join us if they wished, but that we would not be traveling for the holiday.

My mother looked like I had punched her in the gut and said nothing in response. My father just kept doing what he was doing. I'm not even sure if he heard what I said, but if he did, he didn't react or say anything in response.

We actually do have a nice menu planned for just DH, me, and two DCs. This will be our first Thanksgiving not at my parents' house.

(As far as why we have never celebrated with DH's parents, there are two sets of them and their holiday tables are full with others who live closer to them and are part of their current families. It's always been this way.)

[Anonymous]

I guess congratulations? DCUM sure loves encouraging people not to spend time with family!

[Anonymous]

May I ask why? Do you live too far away?

[Anonymous]

On the face of it, it is reasonable - you invited them to your home, after all. Unless they are too frail to travel on the notoriously hectic Thanksgiving holiday.

[Anonymous]

Your DH’s parents holiday tables are “full”? As in you’re not invited because they have too many guests, or you and DH don’t want to go because there are too many people? The former, that’s awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May I ask why? Do you live too far away?

Does there need to be a specific why? What if they just want to stay home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I ask why? Do you live too far away?

Does there need to be a specific why? What if they just want to stay home?

Then why post at all? Why should we care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH’s parents holiday tables are “full”? As in you’re not invited because they have too many guests, or you and DH don’t want to go because there are too many people? The former, that’s awful.

We are not invited because they don't have space. I don't take offense. They are divorced, both remarried, MIL has adult children with partners from her second marriage...it happens, I've learned. They are always welcome to visit us, but they aren't interested.

My mother is in excellent health, my father is in good health (some health issues controlled with medication), both in their late 60s, so they really could come to our place if they wanted to. They travel farther to visit friends regularly. We are about 50 miles away.

[Anonymous]

But your fake invitation to them is pretty petty and hostile. And it’s fake because you clearly state the menu you’ve planned is only for you, your spouse, and two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I ask why? Do you live too far away?

Does there need to be a specific why? What if they just want to stay home?

Then why post at all? Why should we care?

You don't have to care, but if you don't, then why respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But your fake invitation to them is pretty petty and hostile. And it’s fake because you clearly state the menu you’ve planned is only for you, your spouse, and two kids.

No, I didn't say that. Did someone say that to you?

[Anonymous]

The menu I planned could serve 8, or 6 or 4 with leftovers - OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, actually, I told them that we had a menu and were preparing food, that they were welcome to join us if they wished, but that we would not be traveling for the holiday.

My mother looked like I had punched her in the gut and said nothing in response. My father just kept doing what he was doing. I'm not even sure if he heard what I said, but if he did, he didn't react or say anything in response.

We actually do have a nice menu planned for just DH, me, and two DCs. This will be our first Thanksgiving not at my parents' house.

(As far as why we have never celebrated with DH's parents, there are two sets of them and their holiday tables are full with others who live closer to them and are part of their current families. It's always been this way.)

So you're cutting off the half of your extended family who values your children and their presence?

[Anonymous]

Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May I ask why? Do you live too far away?

Does there need to be a specific why? What if they just want to stay home?

Then why post at all? Why should we care?

You don't have to care, but if you don't, then why respond?

+1000

These thread gatekeepers are annoying AF