| I was the sole breadwinner for many years and after a short reprieve, I am back in this unfortunate position. I don’t even know what to think or do. It really put such a strain on me, financially, mentally etc. I just can’t go through it anymore. |
| I’m really sorry. I grew up with a breadwinning mom (and was a teacher, so were pretty low-income for a family of five) and a dad who was mostly unemployed. It was a huge strain on her and on their marriage. If it’s any consolation, they are pretty happy now that she’s retired! |
| I’m so sorry. What’s going on there, that he keeps losing jobs? Learning disabilities? Untreated ADHD? Anxiety? I imagine there’s a root cause. |
| Op why does he keep losing jobs? |
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I make more than my DH and there was a period where he was between jobs that was so stressful. Expenses were covered, but not with much room to breathe, so I understand that strain.
I hope he can get out there and find something quickly. I'm sorry. |
He had his first job for 20 years, but then nothing for 10 years. He doesn’t keep losing jobs, I wouldn’t say that. It’s just that it took him over 10 years to find this one and the position is cut due to funding issues. |
Ten years to find a job?!? |
Not really any consolation, as I do not really like him. |
| Honestly I am thinking about moving to a low COL area. I work remote so that shouldn’t be an issue. I am burnt out with this situation. |
Chili out. Stuff happens. You can't expect things to not come up. |
| How in the heck does it take 10 years to get a job?!?! That's insane. |
IDK. I have no explanation. All I can tell you is that I am close to some sort of breakdown. This isn’t how I envisioned my life. |
Would be a wise choice, OP. Any low COL where you might have family or social support? |
That would be in Europe. So I am thinking either a smaller town with good public schools around Boston, or Europe. Not sure I can do my job from Europe. I might have to find a new one (which would be bad because I like my job). |
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... and if gender roles are reversed, how is this any different? Plenty of males shoulder the burden of being the main/only breadwinner.
Plus, they then get criticized from all angles about not shouldering enough in other areas of family life. |