DH lost job again

Anonymous
I was the sole breadwinner for many years and after a short reprieve, I am back in this unfortunate position. I don’t even know what to think or do. It really put such a strain on me, financially, mentally etc. I just can’t go through it anymore.
Anonymous
I’m really sorry. I grew up with a breadwinning mom (and was a teacher, so were pretty low-income for a family of five) and a dad who was mostly unemployed. It was a huge strain on her and on their marriage. If it’s any consolation, they are pretty happy now that she’s retired!
Anonymous
I’m so sorry. What’s going on there, that he keeps losing jobs? Learning disabilities? Untreated ADHD? Anxiety? I imagine there’s a root cause.
Anonymous
Op why does he keep losing jobs?
Anonymous
I make more than my DH and there was a period where he was between jobs that was so stressful. Expenses were covered, but not with much room to breathe, so I understand that strain.

I hope he can get out there and find something quickly. I'm sorry.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op why does he keep losing jobs?


He had his first job for 20 years, but then nothing for 10 years. He doesn’t keep losing jobs, I wouldn’t say that. It’s just that it took him over 10 years to find this one and the position is cut due to funding issues.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op why does he keep losing jobs?


He had his first job for 20 years, but then nothing for 10 years. He doesn’t keep losing jobs, I wouldn’t say that. It’s just that it took him over 10 years to find this one and the position is cut due to funding issues.


Ten years to find a job?!?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I’m really sorry. I grew up with a breadwinning mom (and was a teacher, so were pretty low-income for a family of five) and a dad who was mostly unemployed. It was a huge strain on her and on their marriage. If it’s any consolation, they are pretty happy now that she’s retired!


Not really any consolation, as I do not really like him.
Anonymous
Honestly I am thinking about moving to a low COL area. I work remote so that shouldn’t be an issue. I am burnt out with this situation.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am thinking about moving to a low COL area. I work remote so that shouldn’t be an issue. I am burnt out with this situation.


Chili out. Stuff happens. You can't expect things to not come up.
Anonymous
How in the heck does it take 10 years to get a job?!?! That's insane.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How in the heck does it take 10 years to get a job?!?! That's insane.


IDK. I have no explanation. All I can tell you is that I am close to some sort of breakdown. This isn’t how I envisioned my life.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am thinking about moving to a low COL area. I work remote so that shouldn’t be an issue. I am burnt out with this situation.


Would be a wise choice, OP. Any low COL where you might have family or social support?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am thinking about moving to a low COL area. I work remote so that shouldn’t be an issue. I am burnt out with this situation.


Would be a wise choice, OP. Any low COL where you might have family or social support?


That would be in Europe. So I am thinking either a smaller town with good public schools around Boston, or Europe. Not sure I can do my job from Europe. I might have to find a new one (which would be bad because I like my job).
Anonymous
... and if gender roles are reversed, how is this any different? Plenty of males shoulder the burden of being the main/only breadwinner.

Plus, they then get criticized from all angles about not shouldering enough in other areas of family life.
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