any other jews get a little weirded out

[Anonymous]

when christians post about jewish holidays?

i just saw a friend - who i know is well-intentioned - put up a fb post listing out all the fall jewish holidays, along with appropriate greetings for your jewish friends on each of them. "Have an easy fast," for Yom Kippur, that sort of thing.

I have another non-jewish friend who always puts up a big group post listing all her jewish friends - that she knows of - whenever there is a jewish holiday, and wishing us a good holiday.

it's a little weird, right?? well-intentioned, but weird?

[Anonymous]

First example is not weird. Second example is weird.

[Anonymous]

I always feel so included in Jewish holidays by friends. I don't have social media (and hope to stay off forever) but I could see myself posting a pic or info to share since it's a nice time I'd want to share.

[Anonymous]

The first is weird, because it's a little rude to assume that people don't know stuff and need education in proper greetings (even if they are actually ignorant, you can't presume).

The second is well-intentioned and not weird as far as I can see.

[Anonymous]

I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

[Anonymous]

They are just trying to be inclusive, so I don't really let it bother me.

[Anonymous]

First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't" Your friends, non-Jewish or Jewish, took the time to express good wishes to you. If you are questioning their motives than perhaps you should also question your definition of friendship.

OP, from your explanation it looks like your non-Jewish friends even took the time to research and learn the most proper ways to express their good wishes for the high holy days. If you ask me, that is wonderful and appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Both are a little weird. I would assume the first person is a bit of a try-hard know-it-all about most things based on that post, not just world religions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

I am OP - and I think this is a lot of it. The FB post was specifically aimed at other Christians - like, hey, Christians, here are the important Jewish holidays and don't bother your Jewish friends during them, but when you do see your Jewish friends here's what to say. Then of course there was the obligatory "please share" - and I was like, please don't! (In my head, I didn't say anything.)

But yeah, I can't remember the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashana or fasted for Yom Kippur. It feels very othering and presumptuous - and also sort of ignorant about how many of us are secular Jews? - to be lecturing one another about what to say and not say to Jewish people on those days. Just be normal, maybe? Be sensitive that some of your Jewish friends may be observing the holidays, and others may not be - like I don't presume that my Christian friends are totally unavailable on Good Friday but if they told me they'd be out of the office or something I would be fine with that, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both are a little weird. I would assume the first person is a bit of a try-hard know-it-all about most things based on that post, not just world religions.

+1 that both posts are a little off, but I think it's these specific posts which aren't what I normally see. Generally I just see "easy fast to everyone fasting today!" without instruction or calling particular people out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't" Your friends, non-Jewish or Jewish, took the time to express good wishes to you. If you are questioning their motives than perhaps you should also question your definition of friendship.

OP, from your explanation it looks like your non-Jewish friends even took the time to research and learn the most proper ways to express their good wishes for the high holy days. If you ask me, that is wonderful and appreciated.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

I try to think that any good wishes are just that, good wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't" Your friends, non-Jewish or Jewish, took the time to express good wishes to you. If you are questioning their motives than perhaps you should also question your definition of friendship.

OP, from your explanation it looks like your non-Jewish friends even took the time to research and learn the most proper ways to express their good wishes for the high holy days. If you ask me, that is wonderful and appreciated.

Agreed.

.

+2. It's like people don't know how to live these days. How hard is it to accept well wishes even if you don't need them? If you want the person to stop sending them to you, just say "thank you, but I actually don't celebrate this this"? We live in a society people.

[Anonymous]

My college roommate is Jewish. Always wishes me happiness on a Christian holiday. I’m not offended. What’s the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, well-intentioned but weird. I would roll my eyes hard at the Facebook post which is very obviously virtue signaling. Like even if you make a point to know this stuff and offer appropriate greetings, posting about it to Facebook is just a way of being like "Look how THOUGHTFUL and worldly I am!" I also think it would come off as lecture-y to other non-Jews who might then feel pressure to do it, which I really don't feel is necessary.

The last thing I want is for all my non-Jewish friends texting me to let me know they want me to have an easy fast, lol. I usually don't even fast! I'm a bad Jew.

I am OP - and I think this is a lot of it. The FB post was specifically aimed at other Christians - like, hey, Christians, here are the important Jewish holidays and don't bother your Jewish friends during them, but when you do see your Jewish friends here's what to say. Then of course there was the obligatory "please share" - and I was like, please don't! (In my head, I didn't say anything.)

But yeah, I can't remember the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashana or fasted for Yom Kippur. It feels very othering and presumptuous - and also sort of ignorant about how many of us are secular Jews? - to be lecturing one another about what to say and not say to Jewish people on those days. Just be normal, maybe? Be sensitive that some of your Jewish friends may be observing the holidays, and others may not be - like I don't presume that my Christian friends are totally unavailable on Good Friday but if they told me they'd be out of the office or something I would be fine with that, too.

PP here, and yes. I wonder if one thing that is happening here is that the people doing this are pretty devout Christians, and they assume that people in other religions are devout in the same ways. But I don't keep kosher, fast, or attend temple very often. Assuming that I observe my religion the same way you do is actually kind of limiting.

I disagree with the poster who said "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I think the key is: (1) don't be prejudiced, I'm not going to tolerate anti-semitic comments or actions, this is what I care about the most, and (2) if you're friends with someone, get to know them and maybe ask questions about their faith or religion. Anyone who actually knows me would know I'm not super observant. If someone is wishing me an easy fast, it's a sign that all they know about me is that I'm Jewish (which you could figure out from my name and appearance pretty easily). It's not actually that thoughtful.