any other jews get a little weirded out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a few fairly religious Jewish friends who regularly ask folks to share the list of high holidays so people don’t schedule important meetings in those days. I think tagging people is a bit much on holiday good wishes but tbf I almost never tag people and rarely post on social media at all so my normalcy calibration might be off. I do see your point about making assumptions about people’s religion, though. If any of these are close friends you can maybe mention it to them another time that it feels odd to be wished greetings as part of a blanket statement without any personal calibration? If acquaintances, I would probably mute them; maybe if their posts get little enough engagement they’ll stop?

I am not close enough with either of them to say anything - and honestly I'm not even sure what I'd say. I don't have an argument for NOT doing this - it just feels off to me. There's nothing I can point to and say, "you shouldn't do this and here's why" - I just feel like it's a weird thing to have non-Jews posting about Jewish holidays, and presuming to share some expertise.

The thing my friend shred about the holidays was originally put up by someone who went to a Lutheran theology school (I see in his profile) then got shared something like 4,000 times. It's not objectionable in content - it just feels weird for someone who is a Christian to be holding himself up as an expert in how to be considerate to the Jews around their holidays (which obviously we can't presume anyone is already familiar with since of course Jews are other and exotic). It feels weird is all!

Oh yeah, I get this. I am generally exhausted by people who position themselves as experts on "being inclusive" or whatever on social media. It's one thing for someone to speak to their own identity and experience -- I'd have no issue with a Jewish person saying "hey as a PSA, these are the high holy dates this year and here's some info so you don't go wishing someone a happy day of atonement!" And if someone shared that, all the better.

But when you have people who are NOT of a certain identity lecturing others on how to be tolerant and inclusive of that identity -- it just comes off as self-promotional. Like when straight people lecture about how to be inclusive of LGBTQA+ people, or when white people lecture each other about racism. Share/promote something from a person of that identity? Yes, for sure. Jump on your soap box to pontificate on how to be a good liberal? Nope, it's annoying.

I basically stopped going on Facebook back in 2018 or so for this reason -- so many likeminded people lecturing each other on how to be progressive, it got really tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't" Your friends, non-Jewish or Jewish, took the time to express good wishes to you. If you are questioning their motives than perhaps you should also question your definition of friendship.

OP, from your explanation it looks like your non-Jewish friends even took the time to research and learn the most proper ways to express their good wishes for the high holy days. If you ask me, that is wonderful and appreciated.

Agreed.

.

+2. It's like people don't know how to live these days. How hard is it to accept well wishes even if you don't need them? If you want the person to stop sending them to you, just say "thank you, but I actually don't celebrate this this"? We live in a society people.

+100 It is hard to know what to say anymore. People seem to be looking for ways to be offended. It is sad this is where we all are now.

NP. Only in the DMV is this an issue. The navel gazers in this area like OP are always looking for a reason for offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't."

+1

Offense will be taken, dammit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My college roommate is Jewish. Always wishes me happiness on a Christian holiday. I’m not offended. What’s the difference?

This is OP - and I am not "offended," I just find it a little weird. I think the difference is that presumably your college roommate knows you well enough to know if wishing you happiness on a Christian holiday is appropriate. These are generic "oh, you're Jewish, well here's what I am going to presume about what to say to you without having any personal knowledge about how you practice" sorts of things. It's just weird! I don't care enough to say anything to the people who are making the posts - I do care enough to say here that I find it odd and a little off!

Dp. I know which of my Jewish friends are religious, cultural or High Holy Days Jewish. One friend told me I knew more about Jewish culture than she does (it was a joke) because I know the word "Safta" and other Hebrew words. I'm a "Christmas and Easter" Catholic, for reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My college roommate is Jewish. Always wishes me happiness on a Christian holiday. I’m not offended. What’s the difference?

This is OP - and I am not "offended," I just find it a little weird. I think the difference is that presumably your college roommate knows you well enough to know if wishing you happiness on a Christian holiday is appropriate. These are generic "oh, you're Jewish, well here's what I am going to presume about what to say to you without having any personal knowledge about how you practice" sorts of things. It's just weird! I don't care enough to say anything to the people who are making the posts - I do care enough to say here that I find it odd and a little off!

Dp. I know which of my Jewish friends are religious, cultural or High Holy Days Jewish. One friend told me I knew more about Jewish culture than she does (it was a joke) because I know the word "Safta" and other Hebrew words. I'm a "Christmas and Easter" Catholic, for reference.

You get a cookie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't" Your friends, non-Jewish or Jewish, took the time to express good wishes to you. If you are questioning their motives than perhaps you should also question your definition of friendship.

OP, from your explanation it looks like your non-Jewish friends even took the time to research and learn the most proper ways to express their good wishes for the high holy days. If you ask me, that is wonderful and appreciated.

Agreed.

.

+2. It's like people don't know how to live these days. How hard is it to accept well wishes even if you don't need them? If you want the person to stop sending them to you, just say "thank you, but I actually don't celebrate this this"? We live in a society people.

+100 It is hard to know what to say anymore. People seem to be looking for ways to be offended. It is sad this is where we all are now.

NP and +200

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird too. Not everyone needs to express good wishes on social media. If you really have good wishes, then when you see or talk to them, say so! If you don’t see or talk to friends often enough, then that’s the real problem. Friendships & community are important to maintain.

[Anonymous]

I think it's weird.

Is it weird to order a high holiday meal from Call Your Mother if you aren't Jewish? They look sooo good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, want to include that I am Jewish, born and raised.

OP's post is the perfect example of "damned-if-you-do / damned-if-you-don't."

+1

Offense will be taken, dammit.

Oh please. Do you seriously think people will be offended if you don’t say Happy Passover or Happy Chanukah on social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a few fairly religious Jewish friends who regularly ask folks to share the list of high holidays so people don’t schedule important meetings in those days. I think tagging people is a bit much on holiday good wishes but tbf I almost never tag people and rarely post on social media at all so my normalcy calibration might be off. I do see your point about making assumptions about people’s religion, though. If any of these are close friends you can maybe mention it to them another time that it feels odd to be wished greetings as part of a blanket statement without any personal calibration? If acquaintances, I would probably mute them; maybe if their posts get little enough engagement they’ll stop?

I am not close enough with either of them to say anything - and honestly I'm not even sure what I'd say. I don't have an argument for NOT doing this - it just feels off to me. There's nothing I can point to and say, "you shouldn't do this and here's why" - I just feel like it's a weird thing to have non-Jews posting about Jewish holidays, and presuming to share some expertise.

The thing my friend shred about the holidays was originally put up by someone who went to a Lutheran theology school (I see in his profile) then got shared something like 4,000 times. It's not objectionable in content - it just feels weird for someone who is a Christian to be holding himself up as an expert in how to be considerate to the Jews around their holidays (which obviously we can't presume anyone is already familiar with since of course Jews are other and exotic). It feels weird is all!

Oh yeah, I get this. I am generally exhausted by people who position themselves as experts on "being inclusive" or whatever on social media. It's one thing for someone to speak to their own identity and experience -- I'd have no issue with a Jewish person saying "hey as a PSA, these are the high holy dates this year and here's some info so you don't go wishing someone a happy day of atonement!" And if someone shared that, all the better.

But when you have people who are NOT of a certain identity lecturing others on how to be tolerant and inclusive of that identity -- it just comes off as self-promotional. Like when straight people lecture about how to be inclusive of LGBTQA+ people, or when white people lecture each other about racism. Share/promote something from a person of that identity? Yes, for sure. Jump on your soap box to pontificate on how to be a good liberal? Nope, it's annoying.

I basically stopped going on Facebook back in 2018 or so for this reason -- so many likeminded people lecturing each other on how to be progressive, it got really tiresome.

I get being exhausted by the self-appointed arbiters of inclusiveness and progressiveness. Like DCUM’s white woman who calls the rest of us the misogynistic term Karen if we don’t agree that nurse should have given her e-bike up to those black teenagers (and I consider myself woke if that’s not too pejorative these days).

But this seems different. OP’s “friends” aren’t lecturing anybody about how not to be anti-Semitic. For one thing, it’s intended for positive inter-personal use; it’s not a massive condemnation of internet strangers to whom you feel morally superior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird too. Not everyone needs to express good wishes on social media. If you really have good wishes, then when you see or talk to them, say so! If you don’t see or talk to friends often enough, then that’s the real problem. Friendships & community are important to maintain.

Isn’t that the point though? The friend’s advice was for what to say when you meet people in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird.

Is it weird to order a high holiday meal from Call Your Mother if you aren't Jewish? They look sooo good.

Not at all weird to order the meal! Order away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My college roommate is Jewish. Always wishes me happiness on a Christian holiday. I’m not offended. What’s the difference?

This is OP - and I am not "offended," I just find it a little weird. I think the difference is that presumably your college roommate knows you well enough to know if wishing you happiness on a Christian holiday is appropriate. These are generic "oh, you're Jewish, well here's what I am going to presume about what to say to you without having any personal knowledge about how you practice" sorts of things. It's just weird! I don't care enough to say anything to the people who are making the posts - I do care enough to say here that I find it odd and a little off!

You’re touchy AF. THAT’S what’s odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird too. Not everyone needs to express good wishes on social media. If you really have good wishes, then when you see or talk to them, say so! If you don’t see or talk to friends often enough, then that’s the real problem. Friendships & community are important to maintain.

I think the issue is because it’s on social media. Because of it it seems like virtue signaling.

[Anonymous]

No, I don’t think anything in the OP is weird. It’s sweet. The only thing I find weird is when Christians try to celebrate our holidays (like church seders). Wishing Jewish friends a nice holiday is great and I am always pleasantly surprised when someone remembers a holiday.