Working Parents Who Aren’t Tired — Tell us your schedule or secret sauce
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Anonymous
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DW and I have a pretty good lifestyle setup, yet our house always seems a mess, we don’t have time for our own hobbies, and are exhausted 24/7. We know some families who seem to make parenting and life effortless — please tell us what we are doing wrong!
Work: Dual Fed (we prioritized work life balance), both GS15, both 3 days TRO requirements. DW - TWTh, DH - MWF. Typically 40 hour week jobs, some deadlines make for longer weeks but nothing to complain about. 3 kids. One going into 9th, one going into 6th, one going into 2nd. So 3 school drop offs/pickups (oldest are in 2 diff parochial schools, there wasn’t a k-12 that worked), youngest is in walkable neighborhood public so in a couple years will walk themselves to school and back. Activities: no travel sports. Usually 1 rec sport per kid per season or school based sport. Weekly musical lessons twice week for all kids (different times). Oldest does some clubs at school so few weekends late nights for that. Adults try to go to gym 1-2 times a week if can. Family fun. We never hire a babysitter so, no date nights. Weekends are usually kids with friends or have friends over, and then rest of family will go to museums or hike or pool etc. typical stuff. Usually mornings sat is a big laundry and extra cleaning day. Sunday morning is church and Sunday school. Typical day: I wake up at 7am and drive two oldest to their schools — done by 830 and head to work or WFH. Whomever is WFH that day pops out at 4 to bring them home, and then continues to work till 530 when they start dinner. Other parent drops off elementary kid and gets to work by 9, then returns home around 6. At dinner time we make 3 types of dinner: vegetarian, omni, and picky. Two vegetarians so think sautéed tofu, omni may have broiled chicken, and picky has pasta. Everyone shares ina roasted vegetable, salad, maybe potatoes and rice. Usually simple fast meals started by WFH parent, so dinner done by 630. One parent may duck out with a kid to rec practice or music etc depending on time schedule — will have dinner either before or after. Maybe help homework or read with youngest for those home. Everyone heads to bed around 930, then adults clean dishes and tidy the house, and usually deep clean one project or another. May head to gym some nights. We have a cleaner come every two weeks for deep clean of kitchen and bathrooms. Hard to find time for other cleaning projects, household projects, or yard work. Spouse thinks most people just have more energy and efficiency than we do; I think most people order more takeout meals, probably have family help or regular driving nanny, or are just as frazzled as us!? So those of you parenting with ease what can we do? I know simplyfing meals would help, but vegetarians are militant, and doctor says to accommodate picky eater for now. |
Anonymous
| Our secret? We have only one child. |
Anonymous
| OMG just put your kids in public school, that would solve all your problems. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Is this a troll post? No sane person has three kids in three different schools and makes three different types of food for every meal. If one of my children were to choose to have a special diet, then we would try to accommodate their diet with sides, and they would be responsible for making anything additional. |
Anonymous
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Are you nuts? Why can't the 9th grader get paid by you to babysit occasionally? Why can't they all go to public school? Why are you making three different dinners every single night? That is INSANE. Completely, unequivocally insane.
We have a nanny who runs the kids around after school and preps/starts dinner and herds the kids through setting the table. We have twice a week cleaners. So we spot clean and load and unload the dishwasher, but that's it for cleaning. Our kids are at the same school. But they are close in age - you spaced your kids way out. |
Anonymous
| There are only so many hours a week so something has to give. My DH and I each work 3 days a week. So we each have 2 full weekdays to do kid activities/home maintenance/self care. We also had an after school sitter (until covid hit) so she would do dinner prep and laundry. I would make dinner simple. My family eats meat but I meal plan vegetarian meals for weekdays and then on weekends they can order meat if we’re eating out. Picky eater can also eat leftovers so you don’t have to make a new meal each night for them. |
Anonymous
THIS |
Anonymous
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Start by making shorter posts on DCUM.
Bam. I just found you an extra hour of sleep a day. |
Anonymous
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Public school for all, with a bus, and music lessons either once a week or at the same time/location for all as much as possible. You already know the meal thing is insane, you gotta knock that off. If teenagers want to be vegetarian, they can learn to microwave a can of beans or tofu or whatever to go with the veggie/starches. They could cook meals for everyone! And go on some date nights! Your kids are more than old enough to stay home alone for an occasional evening, seriously.
We make lots more activities work with carpooling, much less cleaning, and no church/Sunday school. |
Anonymous
| Sounds exhausting. Y’all need to relax. |
Anonymous
| Sunday school? Ridiculous at that age |
Anonymous
| Self employed and one child |
Anonymous
How do you both have part time jobs? 3 days a week?? Where is this? |
Anonymous
Our public schools do not have bus service — so that doesn’t help any. There are three schools and three kids. Yes kids are spaced far apart, not planned just how biology dealt us. A PP has a driving nanny, maybe that is the key? We have a carpool for rec sports but I’m never sure if that is more work to manage than it’s worth |