Working Parents Who Aren’t Tired — Tell us your schedule or secret sauce

[Anonymous]

3 kids is a lot.

I have 2 (middle school and elementary) and we have walkable schools or a bus. No pick up and drop off. At a minimum, get a carpool.

One meal gets made. Eat it or don't.

Why are you not cleaning things up until your children are in bed? They are older. They should be helping you. At a minimum, do it in their presence so they don't think housework is done by magical elves. When my kids go to bed, I'm either going to sleep myself or it's my free time.

[Anonymous]

My secret sauce that op doesn’t have?

Nobody in my family is a practicing member of any religion nor is anyone on a special diet.

[Anonymous]

Op, you are trying to be a martyr in the name of tradition. I get it, I was raised in a big family, religious private schools my mom drove us to, Sunday schools, parents never went on date nights and we never had a sitter, mom was basically a short order cook, etc. My mom was a sahm and even she was stressed with all this. Let go of some of this. You’re a good mom without doing all this and frankly your kids might be suffocated. It’s not bad to have your kids figure out how to take the bus, cook their own meals, stay with a sitter, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My secret sauce that op doesn’t have?

Nobody in my family is a practicing member of any religion nor is anyone on a special diet.

+1. We also use public schools and busses. That said, we do have to deal with driving to extra curriculars which can be a pain at peak times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My secret sauce that op doesn’t have?

Nobody in my family is a practicing member of any religion nor is anyone on a special diet.

Enormous +1 on the no special diets! But, we belong to a temple (we're Jewish) and it has actually been part of my "secret sauce". My kids go to Sunday School for two hours on Sunday mornings, and it is my number one time for getting things done around the house or just relaxing. Glorious! And even more key, it has been a huge source of building our "village" (carpools, friends who help out in a pinch, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My secret was divorcing my husband.

It was like losing a fourth and fifth child.
I have every other weekend off now to catch up on rest or beauty and have a peaceful home- which is relaxing.

I heard this is a lovely set up.

[Anonymous]

We have 2 kids; 7 year gap.
We both WFH.
We meal plan so it’s a matter of putting a foil tray in the oven each evening.
Rec activities are on the weekend; just one per semester; either on a Saturday or Sunday morning for about an hour.
No church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids; 7 year gap.
We both WFH.
We meal plan so it’s a matter of putting a foil tray in the oven each evening.
Rec activities are on the weekend; just one per semester; either on a Saturday or Sunday morning for about an hour.
No church

Also we have cleaning and landscaping help

[Anonymous]

Get rid of special meals. You make a meal. They eat it. The end.

I have our old nanny come once per week to help with laundry and cooking in addition to our biweekly housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I haven’t read the whole thread, but I strongly disagree with all the posters who say they wouldn’t accommodate any “special” diets. Some of us are on special diets for health reasons, and personally I think it’s just plain wrong to dismiss the ethical or environmental concerns of your spouse or your children!

I get that it is stressful, complicated , and time-consuming (as a mom who prepares two separate meals 1-3 times per day) but at the end of the day (IMO) none of this other stuff is more important than what you feed your family.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the comments so maybe this is redundant, but I think the secret is that some people just don't need as much sleep as others. Based on my observations of former mentors/bosses/colleagues over the last 20 years.

If you only need 4 hours of sleep (seriously, I knew a couple people who really seemed to be doing well on 4 hours) there is so much time left in the day to do all the things. But your biology can either do that or not. (I definitely cannot.)

[Anonymous]

We only have two but they both go to our local public schools and they both take the bus. DH and I both work from home full time so we do a lot of the chores like laundry during the week. We also have cleaners twice a month and the rest of the time just try to keep things tidy to our standards which aren’t super high standards. We also don’t do yard work, we outsource that. Finally, my parents live close and are willing to babysit once a month so Dh and I do that for our date nights. Otherwise we don’t have hired childcare help.

[Anonymous]

I stopped working. I cut down work but felt like I was just constantly tired and not spending quality time with my family. I was just always trying to survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped working. I cut down work but felt like I was just constantly tired and not spending quality time with my family. I was just always trying to survive.

Me again. DH has a very demanding and and high paying job so I could never rely on him for pick ups or driving to activities. Even though I don’t work, we have multiple conflicts. Just this week, Dh has to work late and I have a 3 way conflict with the kids. It is hard juggling 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

You have two choices. Reevaluate your priorities and make adjustments as needed or outsource some of the work. I have 2 kids that are 8 and 10. They used to go to two different private schools. Both parents work full time. I prioritize fitness and working out. I did it all but it became unsustainable. I hired an au pair and moved one kid to public school and that solved most of the challenges. The au pair handles getting the kids ready in the morning, driving youngest to school, pick up, and driving to activities. I now wake up at 7am, work out, and am working by 9am. I get a full day of work and then enjoy the evenings with the kids.