Very pretty, educated and successful 30-something women single or with unattractive and/or unsuccessful men?

[Anonymous]

My daughter hosted a gathering this weekend. She and her friends are all 30 to 35 years old. This may sound terrible but I couldn’t help but notice how many of her stunning lifelong friends were either long-term single or their male companions (husbands, fiancés, and live-in boyfriends) were optics mismatches and also, many of them didn’t seem to have a lot going on professionally. I’m not just saying this because I’ve known them for so long. My daughter’s friends are very attractive, very sporty lifestyles, most have two degrees, and they are successful professionally. I’m sorry for noticing, but most of the men they were with just were not handsome at all. Even my husband noticed and he never makes comments like that.

Is this reflective of how challenging it is out there for women my daughter’s age?

[Anonymous]

Yawn, here we go with "the women are great and the men are mediocre" spiel. What is an optics mismatch? The reality is, with hair, makeup, and clothes, an average woman can make herself much more attractive vs. a man who has fewer tools at his disposal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter hosted a gathering this weekend. She and her friends are all 30 to 35 years old. This may sound terrible but I couldn’t help but notice how many of her stunning lifelong friends were either long-term single or their male companions (husbands, fiancés, and live-in boyfriends) were optics mismatches and also, many of them didn’t seem to have a lot going on professionally. I’m not just saying this because I’ve known them for so long. My daughter’s friends are very attractive, very sporty lifestyles, most have two degrees, and they are successful professionally. I’m sorry for noticing, but most of the men they were with just were not handsome at all. Even my husband noticed and he never makes comments like that.

Is this reflective of how challenging it is out there for women my daughter’s age?

You…may have a bias.

[Anonymous]

My wife always thought all of her girlfriends from high school and college were beautiful. Which is nice. Really really nice.

But they weren’t.

[Anonymous]

Post pics and videos and we will decide if you're right or not.

[Anonymous]

Not trying to be a jerk here, but this is the future for women in DC and many other large metropolitan areas. This is very common and, frankly, accepted in DC these days. Scrubby dudes with great ladies is the norm. A guy who loves video games and is a college dropout with a half-assed job can easily bag a 9 here in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife always thought all of her girlfriends from high school and college were beautiful. Which is nice. Really really nice.

But they weren’t.

exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be a jerk here, but this is the future for women in DC and many other large metropolitan areas. This is very common and, frankly, accepted in DC these days. Scrubby dudes with great ladies is the norm. A guy who loves video games and is a college dropout with a half-assed job can easily bag a 9 here in DC.

I’m sorry, I don’t know if this is sarcastic. Why would so many women settle for something like this? How would a man like this even get near a successful and attractive woman? Where are the handsome successful men?

[Anonymous]

They obviously aren’t Holy Child alumnae.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife always thought all of her girlfriends from high school and college were beautiful. Which is nice. Really really nice.

But they weren’t.

I don’t blame you for assuming this bias. But they are genuinely very pretty. And my daughter is married, so I wasn’t even including her in this. I supervise hundreds of women their age, her friends are so genuinely very pretty. My typically oblivious and reserved husband even commented about the appearance mismatch. He never notices things like that.

[Anonymous]

I’m late 30s now but noticed this amongst some of my friends too. I married in my late 20s to someone 6 years older. The fact is that mid-30s guys who are successful/attractive/sought after and often trying to date younger. It’s so unfair, but I think some of my still-single friends sort of missed out on a lot of good options while really leaning into their careers, taking on jobs with travel, getting multiple advanced degrees, etc. The dating pool now at late 30s is mostly guys in their 40s coming out of divorce. And a lot of those guys steady have kids or don’t want any.

One of my friends who is a batch ended up marrying a guy about 8 years younger, but that is much more rare than the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible your daughter's friends somehow managed to not to pick up your shallowness? Good for them! They could probably teach you a lot and they are probably much happier than you are.

[Anonymous]

^sorry I really should have proofread that! Typing quickly on a phone.

[Anonymous]

Were the men kind? Good partners? Equal parents?

[Anonymous]

Well most colleges are now graduating 60% females 40% males so that's 3 college-educated women for every 2 men. Then take out the men who are married by 30 or gay, and there's not as much out there for a woman in her 30's who wants a straight, college-educated, single man.