So many ACs have no gratitude or respect toward their parents

[Anonymous]

Apparently respecting your elders is a foreign concept. ACs should be grateful to their parents and pay them respect. They owe them respect.

[Anonymous]

Respect is earned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently respecting your elders is a foreign concept. ACs should be grateful to their parents and pay them respect. They owe them respect.

Lol. Yes, the whole “millennials want an apology and their parents want a thank you” paradox.

[Anonymous]

Um, at the point you are referring to your children as “ACs” you should probably step off line and do a little honest introspection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently respecting your elders is a foreign concept. ACs should be grateful to their parents and pay them respect. They owe them respect.

Respect is earned or given not demanded or enforced. You decide to have unprotected sex and bring kids into this world. You wanted to have children so you got to raise them. Why do you expect a thank you for your choice and its consequences? What choice they had in their existence or upbringing.

If they love and respect you, you taught them well. If they don't, its still on parents.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

[Anonymous]

they learned it from their parents i am sure

[Anonymous]

It's strange to just broadly state the people should be more grateful and respectful towards their parents. Some people had abusive or neglectful parents. Do you really think they should be more grateful?

Focus on your own family. If your adult kids are not as grateful and respectful as you think they should be, that's an issue you should address with them directly. Don't forget you raised them. It's a two way street so if the relationship isn't working, you will need to look at your own behavior as well.

Other people are not your concern and you will never know enough about their family life to know whether their lack of gratitude is merited or unfair. It's just none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently respecting your elders is a foreign concept. ACs should be grateful to their parents and pay them respect. They owe them respect.

Lol. Yes, the whole “millennials want an apology and their parents want a thank you” paradox.

I’ve never heard this… why do millennials want an apology?

[Anonymous]

I am a white American who agrees with the previous Asian poster. I have great respect and gratitude for my parents, who worked very hard to raise us well.

I also devoted myself to my child, making many sacrifices and always putting her first.

Point being: these concepts are not necessarily foreign to Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently respecting your elders is a foreign concept. ACs should be grateful to their parents and pay them respect. They owe them respect.

Ridiculous one earns respect

I 60 my parents stunk no respect for my mother zero

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White American parenting is F’d up. Too permissive and emotionally neglectful.

Imho white, black or brown, no type of parenting is perfect. Each type has its pros and cons and we need to learn from each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents.

I'm sure Asian kids too can blame their parents for many things but no one can deny the sacrifices Asian & South Asian parents make for their families, specially their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents.

I'm sure Asian kids too can blame their parents for many things but no one can deny the sacrifices Asian & South Asian parents make for their families, specially their children.

Which is really admirable yet in some ways very unhealthy as it comes with reciprocal expectations.