So many ACs have no gratitude or respect toward their parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Respect is earned.

+1,000,000. Sorry, OP. You don’t deserve it for not dropping dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently respecting your elders is a foreign concept. ACs should be grateful to their parents and pay them respect. They owe them respect.

Lol. Yes, the whole “millennials want an apology and their parents want a thank you” paradox.

I’ve never heard this… why do millennials want an apology?

It’s an entire genre of filmmaking, including the Best Picture for 2022.

https://www.vox.com/culture/23025832/everything-everywhere-all-at-once-parental-apology-fantasy-turning-red-oscars

https://www.npr.org/2022/12/28/1145811657/millennials-in-hollywood-are-making-parents-apologize-on-screen

https://www.hindustantimes.com/lifestyle/art-culture/millennial-apology-fantasy-a-forgiving-twist-in-the-tale-101667637166696.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents.

I'm sure Asian kids too can blame their parents for many things but no one can deny the sacrifices Asian & South Asian parents make for their families, specially their children.

Which is really admirable yet in some ways very unhealthy as it comes with reciprocal expectations.

Reciprocal expectations are healthy. Tradition is healthy. Unmitigated individualism is unhealthy.

Barf. Sorry, no. It’s 2023, not 1953.

[Anonymous]

I am grateful to my parents for all the things they’ve done for me. But I don’t have to like or respect everything about them.

When my dad says transphobic comments, he loses my respect, and I let him know I will not allow those kinds of statements to be made in my presence—he stops or I leave; if he’s in my home, he stops or he leaves.

My mother is an alcoholic and I don’t have to appreciate or respect the times she’s lost control, checked out, and put us in danger. She knows if she drinks around me or my kids, the visit is over, even if we just arrived from the airport—we will go to a hotel and see other relatives in the area. We really will not stay under the same roof with her if she drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

Everything you’ve written here can be said about my parents. They sacrificed and provided love, attention, hot meals, etc. They lived below their means, saved, and sent us all to college. It’s so gross that you chose to live here and still think only Asians are good parents. If this country is so horrible, why did you raise your children here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents.

I'm sure Asian kids too can blame their parents for many things but no one can deny the sacrifices Asian & South Asian parents make for their families, specially their children.

Having many Asian friends, I would not want to replicate the ways in which they tended to be raised. And I will add that many of them are choosing to raise their own children very differently. A life that is sacrificed on the altar of good grades, duty, and relentless adherence to discipline is not a fun one. There is a reason that the fertility rate in South Korea is below 1.

[Anonymous]

Immigrant parents tend to have more struggles due to not knowing the system, not having family/friend network to support in need, language/accent issue, cultural differences etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

Everything you’ve written here can be said about my parents. They sacrificed and provided love, attention, hot meals, etc. They lived below their means, saved, and sent us all to college. It’s so gross that you chose to live here and still think only Asians are good parents. If this country is so horrible, why did you raise your children here?

Where did PP say that only Asians are good parents?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Boomers want a parenting participation trophy.

This! And at the same time they can’t even show up for grandchildren. I have quite a few boomer relatives who are giddy that their kids struggle with grandkids and being a working parent. “Good! Now they can see what we went through!”

this is the attitude of my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Boomers want a parenting participation trophy.

This! And at the same time they can’t even show up for grandchildren. I have quite a few boomer relatives who are giddy that their kids struggle with grandkids and being a working parent. “Good! Now they can see what we went through!”

this is the attitude of my parents.

Why do you expect aging parents to take over your responsibilities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents.

I'm sure Asian kids too can blame their parents for many things but no one can deny the sacrifices Asian & South Asian parents make for their families, specially their children.

Which is really admirable yet in some ways very unhealthy as it comes with reciprocal expectations.

Reciprocal expectations are healthy. Tradition is healthy. Unmitigated individualism is unhealthy.

Barf. Sorry, no. It’s 2023, not 1953.

Because our society is so healthy and prosperous today. Sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents.

I'm sure Asian kids too can blame their parents for many things but no one can deny the sacrifices Asian & South Asian parents make for their families, specially their children.

Which is really admirable yet in some ways very unhealthy as it comes with reciprocal expectations.

Reciprocal expectations are healthy. Tradition is healthy. Unmitigated individualism is unhealthy.

Barf. Sorry, no. It’s 2023, not 1953.

Because our society is so healthy and prosperous today. Sure.

Yes, actually our society is much than the 1950s. It's not even debatable actually.

[Anonymous]

My parents were old when I was born. They grew up at the tail end of the depression years. I was well aware of where they started and what they did to make it the standard of living I enjoyed growing up. I always respected the fact they worked hard and sacrificed for themselves so that we as their children had more and got better. My siblings did as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently respecting your elders is a foreign concept. ACs should be grateful to their parents and pay them respect. They owe them respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here. My kids had a happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future. That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles. It is "18 and you are out". Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others. All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow. Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them?

There are so many Asian young adults who despise their parents' domineering, extreme helicopter parenting.