Reply to So many ACs have no gratitude or respect toward their parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Yes, it seems it is a foreign concept. I am Asian who immigrated here.  My kids had a  happy, well adjusted, pampered childhood and they were always well behaved and respectful to us and their teachers because that was our home environment and culture.

But their heartfelt gratitude towards us came when they went to college and realized that their peers had really selfish parents, neglected childhoods, few memories of delicious hot family meals and general anxiety about life and their future.   That their parents did not pay for their college, that they did not want to be bothered by their kids struggles.  It is "18 and you are out".  Many parents 'downsized' when kids left for college, many divorced, many converted the kids bedrooms into their hobby rooms.

Their respect towards us came when they started jobs and faced the bamboo ceiling that their parents had faced. They then realized how we managed to be prudent with our money and leapfrogged into UMC, even when we were underpaid and plied with more work than others.  All of a sudden, they were proud of our accented English and stopped correcting us.

Their  devotion towards us came when we were willing to sacrifice our money and leisure time willingly to take care of grandkids and provide real help to our children to grow their career and have a balanced life without worry for their children. They wanted us to speak in our native tongue to our grandkids and reclaim the language that was lost because we all were trying to fit in.

You reap what you sow.  Your kids are human beings who were born to be loved and nurtured. What did you do for them? Just giving birth is not enough. When parents are loving, kind and nurturing - why won't their kids have respect and gratitude towards them? [/quote]

This made me tear up — reminded me of my own (Asian) parents. [/quote]

I'm sure Asian kids too can blame their parents for many things but no one can deny the sacrifices Asian & South Asian parents make for their families, specially their children.[/quote]

Which is really admirable yet in some ways very unhealthy as it comes with reciprocal expectations.[/quote]

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