Boyfriend is upset/sad that I am taking a bucket list trip with my sister

[Anonymous]

My sister invited me on a trip to Japan with her, leaving at the end of March, for 2 weeks. Initially, her husband was supposed to go with her, but he has to take an international business trip for 2 months to Germany. He found out that he had to travel there last week and is leaving March 15. So he obviously can't go on their Japan trip. My sister asked me if I wanted to go with her - and HELL YES I DO! Not only have I always wanted to go Japan, but I'm likely going to be there during CHERRY BLOSSOM SEASON!! (Can you tell how excited I am??!!!) She just simply asked me to pay her cancellation fee on the ticket and she will use the credit she got to re-book a ticket in my name.

When she offered this to me, I told her yes and she went ahead and re-booked the ticket in my name. I told my boyfriend (of 6 months) about this last minute trip to Japan and he looked crushed. His main points of contention -

1.) He said he wished that my sister would've invited him along too --even though he also mentioned that Japan wasn't high on his list - "She should've invited us both, not just you. I would've paid my own way."
I mean, WHAT? Plus, the hotel situation - rooms are all booked for 2 people and my sister and I are likely going to have to share a bed, which is fine. There is no room for another person, or she'd have to re-plan the whole trip to get three adults in a room (which I imagine might not be easy in Japan)

2.) We haven't been on a vacation yet and now I'm using most of my 2023 PTO on this trip. "When will we have time for a trip for US?"
I can understand this but we've only been dating for 6 months. What if I had planned this trip with her before I met him?

3.) We won't see each other for 2 weeks!!!!
Oh noes.

I think he's acting like a baby and a little bit controlling. Life is short - chances like this don't come up that often and I'm taking it. I feel like dumping him but he might just have overreacted in the moment. Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

You have been dating for 6 months.

He can be a bit envious that you are going on a trip and he is stuck at work and he can feel a little unappreciated that you are so excited about this, prefer your vacation time to be with your sister over him, didn't mention it to him until after etc.

However he needs to manage those feelings himself. He should be happy for you and excited that you get this opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Major red flag to be pouting about this at all, let alone after only being together 6 months. I’d start reconsidering the relationship.

And congrats on going to Japan! That’s one of my bucket list trips too, so I get it 😍

[Anonymous]

Definitely a red flag IMO. Is this the first time he has been needy/controlling?

Enjoy your trip!

[Anonymous]

Wow he sounds super whiny.

Have a great time in Japan, Op!!

Btw I’m taking my dad to Japan next year, DH is staying back to solo parent two kids and he was completely supportive. This is a bucket list trip for my dad. Just a point of reference…

[Anonymous]

Dump the needy m f’er.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Major red flag to be pouting about this at all, let alone after only being together 6 months. I’d start reconsidering the relationship.

And congrats on going to Japan! That’s one of my bucket list trips too, so I get it 😍

+1000000

[Anonymous]

He's being unreasonable. Why would your sister want to be a third wheel on a trip SHE planned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister invited me on a trip to Japan with her, leaving at the end of March, for 2 weeks. Initially, her husband was supposed to go with her, but he has to take an international business trip for 2 months to Germany. He found out that he had to travel there last week and is leaving March 15. So he obviously can't go on their Japan trip. My sister asked me if I wanted to go with her - and HELL YES I DO! Not only have I always wanted to go Japan, but I'm likely going to be there during CHERRY BLOSSOM SEASON!! (Can you tell how excited I am??!!!) She just simply asked me to pay her cancellation fee on the ticket and she will use the credit she got to re-book a ticket in my name.

When she offered this to me, I told her yes and she went ahead and re-booked the ticket in my name. I told my boyfriend (of 6 months) about this last minute trip to Japan and he looked crushed. His main points of contention -

1.) He said he wished that my sister would've invited him along too --even though he also mentioned that Japan wasn't high on his list - "She should've invited us both, not just you. I would've paid my own way."
I mean, WHAT? Plus, the hotel situation - rooms are all booked for 2 people and my sister and I are likely going to have to share a bed, which is fine. There is no room for another person, or she'd have to re-plan the whole trip to get three adults in a room (which I imagine might not be easy in Japan)

2.) We haven't been on a vacation yet and now I'm using most of my 2023 PTO on this trip. "When will we have time for a trip for US?"
I can understand this but we've only been dating for 6 months. What if I had planned this trip with her before I met him?


3.) We won't see each other for 2 weeks!!!!
Oh noes.

I think he's acting like a baby and a little bit controlling. Life is short - chances like this don't come up that often and I'm taking it. I feel like dumping him but he might just have overreacted in the moment. Any thoughts?

Just go to Japan and have fun. AMAZING!!

It's clear you really aren't really that interested in your boyfriend or you'd just want to stay or just naturally want to include him. Be free and also set him free so he can find someone who is ready for the next level like he is. Although he'll likely decide this for himself - men have short windows when it comes to agreeing to commit...

On a side note, you may be a single-by-choice lifer. This is becoming more common. In the lifestyle, you can do what you want and when you want! You can buy your own flowers as Miley would say...

[Anonymous]

He sucks.
Too self-centered. He should be happy for you. That's how people who love you behave.
It's good that it didn’t happen that he was able to come with you. If you ever break up (hmm...) you won't want his mug all over your pictures from what sounds like an amazing trip. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister invited me on a trip to Japan with her, leaving at the end of March, for 2 weeks. Initially, her husband was supposed to go with her, but he has to take an international business trip for 2 months to Germany. He found out that he had to travel there last week and is leaving March 15. So he obviously can't go on their Japan trip. My sister asked me if I wanted to go with her - and HELL YES I DO! Not only have I always wanted to go Japan, but I'm likely going to be there during CHERRY BLOSSOM SEASON!! (Can you tell how excited I am??!!!) She just simply asked me to pay her cancellation fee on the ticket and she will use the credit she got to re-book a ticket in my name.

When she offered this to me, I told her yes and she went ahead and re-booked the ticket in my name. I told my boyfriend (of 6 months) about this last minute trip to Japan and he looked crushed. His main points of contention -

1.) He said he wished that my sister would've invited him along too --even though he also mentioned that Japan wasn't high on his list - "She should've invited us both, not just you. I would've paid my own way."
I mean, WHAT? Plus, the hotel situation - rooms are all booked for 2 people and my sister and I are likely going to have to share a bed, which is fine. There is no room for another person, or she'd have to re-plan the whole trip to get three adults in a room (which I imagine might not be easy in Japan)

2.) We haven't been on a vacation yet and now I'm using most of my 2023 PTO on this trip. "When will we have time for a trip for US?"
I can understand this but we've only been dating for 6 months. What if I had planned this trip with her before I met him?


3.) We won't see each other for 2 weeks!!!!
Oh noes.

I think he's acting like a baby and a little bit controlling. Life is short - chances like this don't come up that often and I'm taking it. I feel like dumping him but he might just have overreacted in the moment. Any thoughts?

Just go to Japan and have fun. AMAZING!!

It's clear you really aren't really that interested in your boyfriend or you'd just want to stay or just naturally want to include him. Be free and also set him free so he can find someone who is ready for the next level like he is. Although he'll likely decide this for himself - men have short windows when it comes to agreeing to commit...

On a side note, you may be a single-by-choice lifer. This is becoming more common. In the lifestyle, you can do what you want and when you want! You can buy your own flowers as Miley would say...

Insanity. "If you were really interested in your boyfriend you'd turn down a bucket list trip for no reason." But I do agree you should be less interested in him now, because he has shown he's exhausting. Cut him free so he can hang out with this nutter and complain about today's culture.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had your confidence! Wow!!!!

[Anonymous]

Drop the boyfriend.

Enjoy Japan

[Anonymous]

Just for context. Is your sister needy? Does she respect boundaries?