Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer

[Anonymous]

I was wondering if any of you have successfully agreed to or had a judge rule on a custody schedule where the child has a primary residence during the school year with one parent and then the other parent gets primary custody over the summer? In this scenario, the non-primary parent would still have every other weekend visitation. I'm thinking this would work better for my kid due to struggling with transition and needing consistency and routine due to their disability (documented by the school). The one challenge I'm running into is the other parent refuses to consider any arrangement in which there isn't an exact 50/50 physical custody split, and I know the back and forth would cause our child to have even more challenges at school. I am also open to us having flexibility with seeing our child after school, but it really works better for them when they wake up in the same place during the school week and the routine stays the same.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you take the less time and give the other parent the more time. Child can live with the ex if you think that is important. Problem solved. Seeing your kid every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer is not parenting. How would you feel if your ex insisted child only live with them and you get every other weekend and maybe a phone call or visit in between? How do you think the child may feel having their parent taken away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you take the less time and give the other parent the more time. Child can live with the ex if you think that is important. Problem solved. Seeing your kid every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer is not parenting. How would you feel if your ex insisted child only live with them and you get every other weekend and maybe a phone call or visit in between? How do you think the child may feel having their parent taken away?

This is a good suggestion. If you're genuinely concerned about what's best for the child, make this suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Switch off full weeks. There are fewer translations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you take the less time and give the other parent the more time. Child can live with the ex if you think that is important. Problem solved. Seeing your kid every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer is not parenting. How would you feel if your ex insisted child only live with them and you get every other weekend and maybe a phone call or visit in between? How do you think the child may feel having their parent taken away?

The child has an increase in behavior issues at school when with the other parent and the living situation with the other parent isn't the best. The other parent's work schedule also makes it difficult for them to care for the child during the school week. I don't mind us having flexibility with seeing the child in between weekends (I wrote that in the post).

[Anonymous]

In my experience kids tend to really really hate this kind of schedule if the summer parent doesn't live in the area.

In a divorce you so often have to choose between two less than ideal options. This is one of those times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you take the less time and give the other parent the more time. Child can live with the ex if you think that is important. Problem solved. Seeing your kid every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer is not parenting. How would you feel if your ex insisted child only live with them and you get every other weekend and maybe a phone call or visit in between? How do you think the child may feel having their parent taken away?

The child has an increase in behavior issues at school when with the other parent and the living situation with the other parent isn't the best. The other parent's work schedule also makes it difficult for them to care for the child during the school week. I don't mind us having flexibility with seeing the child in between weekends (I wrote that in the post).

To what extent are you expecting a commensurate increase in child support payments in this arrangement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Switch off full weeks. There are fewer translations.

I failed to mention in the original post that one big concern is the child has more behavior issues at school after having been with the other parent, hence why I think a school year vs. summer schedule makes sense.

[Anonymous]

I suspect this is a situation where OP is more concerned and attuned to her child's needs, and their ex is definitely not, and is just being rigid, even if in practice 50/50 is not in the best interest of the child. So their child living with the ex during the school years wouldn't be great either.

But I am projecting what my own family situation would be if my husband and I were to get divorced!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you take the less time and give the other parent the more time. Child can live with the ex if you think that is important. Problem solved. Seeing your kid every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer is not parenting. How would you feel if your ex insisted child only live with them and you get every other weekend and maybe a phone call or visit in between? How do you think the child may feel having their parent taken away?

The child has an increase in behavior issues at school when with the other parent and the living situation with the other parent isn't the best. The other parent's work schedule also makes it difficult for them to care for the child during the school week. I don't mind us having flexibility with seeing the child in between weekends (I wrote that in the post).

To what extent are you expecting a commensurate increase in child support payments in this arrangement?

I wouldn't expect or want any child support.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor has full custody in school year and the dad has full custody in the summer. They do not live near each other and I doubt the dad fought this. Not exactly your situation, but it is possible. I'd fight for this arrangement, despite what PPs are saying. It's ok to want what's best for the child and for you. If splitting 50/50 is in fact bad for the child, trying not to do that is fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience kids tend to really really hate this kind of schedule if the summer parent doesn't live in the area.

In a divorce you so often have to choose between two less than ideal options. This is one of those times.

My guess is if the other parent doesn't live in the area, this entire discussion is moot. Implied in the scenario is the other parent lives close enough for the child to go to the same school. OP just wants the child to wake up in the same place every day.

Ultimately, this isn't likely to be granted by a judge. You can spend a lot of money trying to make it happen but I suspect it will be futile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience kids tend to really really hate this kind of schedule if the summer parent doesn't live in the area.

In a divorce you so often have to choose between two less than ideal options. This is one of those times.

We both live in the same area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience kids tend to really really hate this kind of schedule if the summer parent doesn't live in the area.

In a divorce you so often have to choose between two less than ideal options. This is one of those times.

My guess is if the other parent doesn't live in the area, this entire discussion is moot. Implied in the scenario is the other parent lives close enough for the child to go to the same school. OP just wants the child to wake up in the same place every day.

Ultimately, this isn't likely to be granted by a judge. You can spend a lot of money trying to make it happen but I suspect it will be futile.

Why not? There is DC case law supporting it when there is a documented diagnosis that shows the child is negatively affected by transition, which shows the benefit of an every other weekend schedule. I am trying to go beyond that and offer additional time, so I thought maybe the summer idea would work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Switch off full weeks. There are fewer translations.

I failed to mention in the original post that one big concern is the child has more behavior issues at school after having been with the other parent, hence why I think a school year vs. summer schedule makes sense.

The thing you have to understand is what you think makes sense doesn't really matter. Your ex clearly disagrees. And so, your choices are to basically spend lots of money suing over this, which will put your kid in the middle, and you very likely may lose.

BTW, the school "documenting" a "disability" isn't relevant to this.

Have you spoken to a lawyer?