Found out my coworkers were lunching during covid

[Anonymous]

All the women in our local office went for lunch or coffee once a week while we were WFH, and they didn't invite me. Obviously they had a reason (I don't know what it was), but I'm finding it difficult to be part of the team now. Advice?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they didn’t invite you cause they didn’t know if you’d tattle or be on board.

The simple answer is invite them out to lunch this week, if they don’t reciprocate next week they don’t like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they didn’t invite you cause they didn’t know if you’d tattle or be on board.

The simple answer is invite them out to lunch this week, if they don’t reciprocate next week they don’t like you.

There was nothing to tattle about, though. It's pretty obvious they just didn't want to socialize with me. Which is fine, but like I said, it makes it difficult to be part of a team.

[Anonymous]

Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

[Anonymous]

Are you extra Covid cautious? Do you wear a robust mask that muffles your voice? Do you insist they all wear one? Do you inquire about their vaccination status?

Any or all of these might be the reason.

[Anonymous]

Did you give any indication you were taking the covid restrictions to the extreme? Not eating indoors, not traveling, still masking everywhere even outdoors? Or did you do the exact opposite and not wear masks anywhere?

We started going to restaurants once they opened. I understand not everyone would be comfortable with that and I avoided them.

People pretty much aligned socially based or real or assumed masking and precautions. I’m guessing that was why you were avoided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you extra Covid cautious? Do you wear a robust mask that muffles your voice? Do you insist they all wear one? Do you inquire about their vaccination status?

Any or all of these might be the reason.

No, minus a desire to return to the office, I was dead silent on my feelings about masking and vaccination - I felt maintaining relationships through divisive times was more important. We were all required to be vaccinated, though, so there shouldn't have been a fear of that on their part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

[Anonymous]

So b/c you weren't included in weekly lunches during WFH Covid you don't think you can be part of a team?

You presumably are doing fine as part of the team up until now/when you found out, no?

Also, WFH bc of Civid was a thing 2+ yrs ago...are you annoyed about something as petty as lunch from 2 yrs ago??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So b/c you weren't included in weekly lunches during WFH Covid you don't think you can be part of a team?

You presumably are doing fine as part of the team up until now/when you found out, no?

Also, WFH bc of Civid was a thing 2+ yrs ago...are you annoyed about something as petty as lunch from 2 yrs ago??

No, my office only reopened in August 2022. They did this from April 2020 until then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you extra Covid cautious? Do you wear a robust mask that muffles your voice? Do you insist they all wear one? Do you inquire about their vaccination status?

Any or all of these might be the reason.

No, minus a desire to return to the office, I was dead silent on my feelings about masking and vaccination - I felt maintaining relationships through divisive times was more important. We were all required to be vaccinated, though, so there shouldn't have been a fear of that on their part.

I don't know that your personality/POV was great. You may have been giving off 'pleaser' vibes. Dead silence isn't admirable - it's cowardice. Add that to your need to be liked and maybe they weren't up for all of that with you. My two cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

[Anonymous]

Maybe you were covid conscious. They can’t win op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you extra Covid cautious? Do you wear a robust mask that muffles your voice? Do you insist they all wear one? Do you inquire about their vaccination status?

Any or all of these might be the reason.

No, minus a desire to return to the office, I was dead silent on my feelings about masking and vaccination - I felt maintaining relationships through divisive times was more important. We were all required to be vaccinated, though, so there shouldn't have been a fear of that on their part.

I don't know that your personality/POV was great. You may have been giving off 'pleaser' vibes. Dead silence isn't admirable - it's cowardice. Add that to your need to be liked and maybe they weren't up for all of that with you. My two cents.

I literally never interacted with them once we were sent home, though. I don't consider it cowardice to not send an email saying "Here's how I feel about covid measures." Am I missing something?