Found out my coworkers were lunching during covid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

This is a situation where I would ask why you weren't included. IMO, you don't have much to lose by asking but if you have a favorite of the ladies or one who you may be a little closer to could you ask - did you all think about including me? It's always possible that these things just materialize and no one intentionally leaves someone out but if I were you I would want to know. Take whatever answer is given with grace and then use that information to learn from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they didn’t invite you cause they didn’t know if you’d tattle or be on board.

The simple answer is invite them out to lunch this week, if they don’t reciprocate next week they don’t like you.

There was nothing to tattle about, though. It's pretty obvious they just didn't want to socialize with me. Which is fine, but like I said, it makes it difficult to be part of a team.

to be honest, it doesn't sound like they consider you part of a team anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you were covid conscious. They can’t win op.

I'm more lenient, actually. But again, I never interacted with them once we were sent them. They had no idea how I felt, so I am pretty sure their decision predates covid, and that's what hurts.

I get it. They dislike me, and they're entitled to those feelings. So how do I get past that and be part of the team again? It's uncomfortable to be the only one not included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

So the onus was all on them even though you were the one suffering? That's not how it works. Friendship is a two way street. You wanted them too read your mind while you said nothing and tried to convey your feelings telepathically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

This is a situation where I would ask why you weren't included. IMO, you don't have much to lose by asking but if you have a favorite of the ladies or one who you may be a little closer to could you ask - did you all think about including me? It's always possible that these things just materialize and no one intentionally leaves someone out but if I were you I would want to know. Take whatever answer is given with grace and then use that information to learn from it.

I did ask. She said it was because I "lived too far away" (and that's true, I commuted in once a week by airplane) but shouldn't that have been my decision? I was back in DC visiting family ALL the time over the past two weeks and could have easily swung by somewhere for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

So the onus was all on them even though you were the one suffering? That's not how it works. Friendship is a two way street. You wanted them too read your mind while you said nothing and tried to convey your feelings telepathically.

Obviously they reached out to everyone else...

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. I’m sure that stings and hurts to find your left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

This is a situation where I would ask why you weren't included. IMO, you don't have much to lose by asking but if you have a favorite of the ladies or one who you may be a little closer to could you ask - did you all think about including me? It's always possible that these things just materialize and no one intentionally leaves someone out but if I were you I would want to know. Take whatever answer is given with grace and then use that information to learn from it.

I did ask. She said it was because I "lived too far away" (and that's true, I commuted in once a week by airplane) but shouldn't that have been my decision? I was back in DC visiting family ALL the time over the past two weeks and could have easily swung by somewhere for lunch.

Two YEARS, sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

So the onus was all on them even though you were the one suffering? That's not how it works. Friendship is a two way street. You wanted them too read your mind while you said nothing and tried to convey your feelings telepathically.

Obviously they reached out to everyone else...

Lazy and petty. Not a good combo. You have no idea how these lunches unfolded since you weren't involved. Nobody is stopping you from saying "hey let me know next time you go, I'd love to join" but you seem to have a piss poor attitude so it's becoming more clear you just want to be a victim. Dust off that resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

This is a situation where I would ask why you weren't included. IMO, you don't have much to lose by asking but if you have a favorite of the ladies or one who you may be a little closer to could you ask - did you all think about including me? It's always possible that these things just materialize and no one intentionally leaves someone out but if I were you I would want to know. Take whatever answer is given with grace and then use that information to learn from it.

I did ask. She said it was because I "lived too far away" (and that's true, I commuted in once a week by airplane) but shouldn't that have been my decision? I was back in DC visiting family ALL the time over the past two weeks and could have easily swung by somewhere for lunch.

Two YEARS, sorry!

If you live a flight away that might be why you weren't included. They might have presumed that when you were in town visiting family, you were too busy. I would send them an email saying you'd love to meet up with them on their lunch when you are in town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

This is a situation where I would ask why you weren't included. IMO, you don't have much to lose by asking but if you have a favorite of the ladies or one who you may be a little closer to could you ask - did you all think about including me? It's always possible that these things just materialize and no one intentionally leaves someone out but if I were you I would want to know. Take whatever answer is given with grace and then use that information to learn from it.

I did ask. She said it was because I "lived too far away" (and that's true, I commuted in once a week by airplane) but shouldn't that have been my decision? I was back in DC visiting family ALL the time over the past two weeks and could have easily swung by somewhere for lunch.

Two YEARS, sorry!

Umm... there's your answer. You lived a flight away during Covid lockdowns. Let this go and work on being a kind and reliable coworker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

This is a situation where I would ask why you weren't included. IMO, you don't have much to lose by asking but if you have a favorite of the ladies or one who you may be a little closer to could you ask - did you all think about including me? It's always possible that these things just materialize and no one intentionally leaves someone out but if I were you I would want to know. Take whatever answer is given with grace and then use that information to learn from it.

I did ask. She said it was because I "lived too far away" (and that's true, I commuted in once a week by airplane) but shouldn't that have been my decision? I was back in DC visiting family ALL the time over the past two weeks and could have easily swung by somewhere for lunch.

Two YEARS, sorry!

Umm... there's your answer. You lived a flight away during Covid lockdowns. Let this go and work on being a kind and reliable coworker.

I AM kind and reliable. Just hurt and feeling left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

So the onus was all on them even though you were the one suffering? That's not how it works. Friendship is a two way street. You wanted them too read your mind while you said nothing and tried to convey your feelings telepathically.

Obviously they reached out to everyone else...

Lazy and petty. Not a good combo. You have no idea how these lunches unfolded since you weren't involved. Nobody is stopping you from saying "hey let me know next time you go, I'd love to join" but you seem to have a piss poor attitude so it's becoming more clear you just want to be a victim. Dust off that resume.

I've been applying for two years, trying to get back into an office. I haven't even gotten any interviews, but way to shove that knife in deeper. Thanks. Hope it made your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you were covid conscious. They can’t win op.

I'm more lenient, actually. But again, I never interacted with them once we were sent them. They had no idea how I felt, so I am pretty sure their decision predates covid, and that's what hurts.

I get it. They dislike me, and they're entitled to those feelings. So how do I get past that and be part of the team again? It's uncomfortable to be the only one not included.

I’m wouldn’t assume they don’t like you but more that they don’t know you. Sounds like they were friends before covid and continued meeting up in friendship not as work colleagues. I would not read anything more into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give off anti-social vibes? So many people WFH because they have no interest in the socializing aspect and just want to clock in and clock out. If that sounds like you, then you can't be put out that people are socializing around you.

No, I desperately wanted to go back to the office from day 1. I don't handle isolation well - ended up in therapy, plus meds the whole time I was at home. Regular lunches might have saved my sanity.

Did you ever reach out to co-workers to get together?

No, because I didn't want to be seen as a covid denier. I had no idea they were doing it secret already...

So the onus was all on them even though you were the one suffering? That's not how it works. Friendship is a two way street. You wanted them too read your mind while you said nothing and tried to convey your feelings telepathically.

Obviously they reached out to everyone else...

Lazy and petty. Not a good combo. You have no idea how these lunches unfolded since you weren't involved. Nobody is stopping you from saying "hey let me know next time you go, I'd love to join" but you seem to have a piss poor attitude so it's becoming more clear you just want to be a victim. Dust off that resume.

I've been applying for two years, trying to get back into an office. I haven't even gotten any interviews, but way to shove that knife in deeper. Thanks. Hope it made your day.

People are giving you ideas and you have excuses for all of them. It doesn't seem like you really want to fix this or make any effort. Just complain.