Stay at home dads

[Anonymous]

I was talking to my physician friends and it seems there is a huge trend of men becoming stay at home dads because wives are ambitious and need support. Is this common in other circles? I guess you need one big income to make such decisions.

[Anonymous]

I think there is one in our group of about 30 families. His wife is a doctor.

Roughly guessing, about 15 dual income and 15 SAHMs. Lot of white collar workers in the hood.

[Anonymous]

I know 2.

I think there’s a lot of people who think it’s better to have a parent home with a child. So, the lower-income spouse stays home, and it’s no longer rare that’s a dad.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not common but it does happen. For it to really work though, the dad needs to actually manage the household. Plan & prep meals, shop, do housework, etc. All of the things that a SAHM would do. Its not enough to just keep the kids alive, but for some SAHD's that's all they do and then mom comes home to a disaster house and no food.

[Anonymous]

Yup. This is what they say, high earning women need tgeir own stay at home wives and men are no longer ashamed to take that role if their families work better this way. Ones who won't, end up divorced or in constant struggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. This is what they say, high earning women need tgeir own stay at home wives and men are no longer ashamed to take that role if their families work better this way. Ones who won't, end up divorced or in constant struggle.

The husband of a high earning wife does not have to choose between being a SAHD or being divorced. A quality and well-paid nanny works out very nicely too. If he wants to SAH and he's up for the task and the wife supports it, that's fine, but certainly not his only option.

[Anonymous]

Hard to have a happy marriage.

[Anonymous]

There shouldn't be any shame to do what makes family less stressed and function well at the time. It can be a second job outside or childcare/home care inside. Whatever works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. This is what they say, high earning women need tgeir own stay at home wives and men are no longer ashamed to take that role if their families work better this way. Ones who won't, end up divorced or in constant struggle.

The husband of a high earning wife does not have to choose between being a SAHD or being divorced. A quality and well-paid nanny works out very nicely too. If he wants to SAH and he's up for the task and the wife supports it, that's fine, but certainly not his only option.

I'm sure people try and it works for some but not for others.

[Anonymous]

My husband was a SAHD for three years. I work in tech. He worked in big law, was partner track and didn't like the lack of work/life balance and was burning out, so he quit. Then he figured out what he wanted to do and started a business with a friend. Now he's back to working full time.

[Anonymous]

I know one SAHD, and yes, his wife is a surgeon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard to have a happy marriage.

One of the happiest couples I know is a SAHD with a physician wife. And their kids are lovely and well-adjusted, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard to have a happy marriage.

Two people juggling demanding careers and arguing about childcare and household also can lead to unhappy marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely not common but it does happen. For it to really work though, the dad needs to actually manage the household. Plan & prep meals, shop, do housework, etc. All of the things that a SAHM would do. Its not enough to just keep the kids alive, but for some SAHD's that's all they do and then mom comes home to a disaster house and no food.

I agree, but LOL at the description of SAHMs, given the number of people on this board who seem to think that it's unreasonable to expect a SAHM to cook, keep the house clean, etc., because apparently taking care of kids is just so hard that she can't be expected to do dishes during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard to have a happy marriage.

One of the happiest couples I know is a SAHD with a physician wife. And their kids are lovely and well-adjusted, too.

My brother fid it for 5 years, left his high paying tech job when his wife got pregnant during residency, didn't go back until after she finished residency, fellowship and boards and kid started full day KG. It set him back a little in his career but he is fine with that. He did everything from cleaning to diaper changing. He is proud of it and his colleagues respect him. They decided not to have more kids.