Tired of people implying I should have gotten an abortion
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Anonymous
| We got DC's diagnosis prenatally. While their condition has brought extra challenges, DC has a good life and has brought a lot of joy to our family. My problem is judgement from other people. Multiple times, people have said things to me like, "Didn't you get the tests?" or "You know, they can test for that now." The assumption is that I was either negligent or uninformed, otherwise I would have terminated the pregnancy. Or I guess some people assume I'm very religious. It does not seem to have occurred to anyone that we carefully weighed the latest information and made an informed decision to have this child, not because of abortion restrictions or fear of eternal damnation, but because we already loved them and knew we could give them a good life. The charitable part of me thinks people are just uneducated and relying on old stereotypes. The angry mama bear part of me is tempted to ask them, "So you think my child shouldn't be alive?" It's very tiresome. Can anyone else relate? |
Anonymous
| I can't relate, but I am really sorry you are having to deal with those comments. I'm sure your child has been well loved from before you even met them. |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry, OP. They're being very rude and unfeeling, and I confess that I could have made such a comment in a brainfart moment. Why? Because the first impulse of a lot of people is to consider an abortion under these circumstances, and they are not aware that you made a choice. If the conversation allows, perhaps slide the info in there...
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Anonymous
| Are you religious? |
Anonymous
| Op that is so incredibly rude of people, I’m so sorry. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry op |
Anonymous
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I think you should consistently just ask, “What do you mean by that?”
Keep asking them to clarify until they apologize or end it yourself by saying “So you just wish my child were dead?” |
Anonymous
| So sorry OP. I have a family member and two friends who have Down syndrome family members. In all 3 cases, these children are loved and loving members of the family. So sad to think people truly believe these children shouldn’t exist. They are beautiful and loving it individuals who bring a great deal of joy to the world. |
Anonymous
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I'm so sorry OP. I'm not sure why people would say things like this.
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Anonymous
| That's SO RUDE. People suck. |
Anonymous
| Just a heads up, other countries have a significantly higher rate of trisomy abortions than the US, for reasons ranging from economic to way less societal tolerance for special needs. So if you travel, or if you have a wide circle of international friends... you might be on the receiving end of insensitive behavior. |
Anonymous
| I have a medically disabled child. Its not a condition you can test for. have no judgements on those that would terminate. This life isn't for everyone. |
Anonymous
It’s one thing to withhold judgement for someone who chooses to abort a child who will need a level of parenting and medical support that a particular family can’t handle. It’s another to imply what a shame it is that someone did not abort their currently existing child. |
Anonymous
| Because it’s really not about “choice”. |
Anonymous
Not particularly. Religion was not a major factor in our decision. |