Girlfriend is messy - moved in 3 months ago
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Anonymous
| My girlfriend and I have been living together for almost 3 months. It’s going well except she is more messy than I am. Unlike most men, I’m very neat and like to keep things clean. I hate clutter. I rinse + put dishes in dishwasher right away - gf will put in sink or just leave on kitchen counter until end of day, I will do laundry & fold + put away right away - gf throws her stuff everywhere and never seems to fold or put away. I put things back - gf leaves the bathroom counter a mess with all of her products. I clean the fridge every week before grocery shopping - gf never does it until after or checks that we’re out of something until after. I do a reset every night - dishes put away + run dishwasher, fold blanket, wipe down counters - gf had left it messy many times one the nights she stay up later than I do. I know this is very insignificant and doesn’t really matter, but is it annoying habit she has. I just need to vent my frustrations to someone who hopefully gets it. |
Anonymous
| My husband is more messy than I am. It’s something you learn to deal with when you love someone. |
Anonymous
| What helped us was a weekly cleaning lady. |
Anonymous
| You clean out the fridge every week before you go shopping? It sounds like both of you can move a bit towards each other. |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes. I thought that was very normal? My mom and dad did it growing up. How else do you know what you need to get? |
Anonymous
I do that too. It creates more space, lets me see what I need to eat in the next two days, and what I need to buy more of. My parents cleaned out the fridge every week too. |
Anonymous
| Vent away! But also talk to her about it if this is something you don’t want to live with forever and are considering a forever for your relationship. This stuff gets old really fast in marriage if it’s not something you are actually ok with accepting. And then throw in kid or animal and it’s their stuff everywhere too. Maybe I am sounding cynical and jaded but just saying the little stuff either needs to be accepted or talked about the changes made for the sake of our spouse. |
Anonymous
|
Have you TOLD her this is bothering you?
Would you want to live with this for the rest of your life? If you got a weekly cleaner, keep in mind that means she'd have even less urge to clean because they'll get to it. And your home would be clean for one day only. If you had kids with her, would you be okay if the kids learned her messy habits? I knew myself well enough to know I had to marry someone as clean or cleaner than I am. |
Anonymous
| Messy girls make the best lovers. True or not true? |
Anonymous
One has nothing to do with the other. |
Anonymous
Are you the OP? |
Anonymous
I’ll tell you who isn’t a good lover: a woman who is always getting judged for not cleaning the fridge out weekly. Getting judged like that is quite the mood-killer. |
Anonymous
| “More messy” |
Anonymous
| You know she is messy. This isn't going to change. Either it is something you can live with or not. Just wait until you have kids. Then she will really drive you crazy! |
Anonymous
| That is why living together before marriage is important. If she never changes, would this be a dealbreaker for you? My DH sounds like your gf. Over the years, he has learned to always put his dirty laundry in the hamper, put down the toilet seat, and throw away trash. That’s pretty much it. I handle the rest because I care more about those things and he handles other stuff I don’t want to do. |