spouse eats lunch out every day; I get leftovers

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how to stop this. I'll eat leftovers for 1-3 days straight for lunch while he's eating out at a different restaurant every day, including some I'd love to try but he never wants to in the evening. Sometimes I'll ask him if we can get lunch, but he's always already got other plans. No, he's not in sales or a job that requires he dine with customers or anything. I suggest he take some leftovers to work, but he refuses. What can I do?

(Yes, I work from home, no, it's not my decision (trailing spouse). I hate everything about working remote, including this.)

[Anonymous]

Do you have a household budget?
Each of you get a certain amount to spend each month, no questions, his lunches can come from that.
Another solution might be to join him for a lunch date occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a household budget?
Each of you get a certain amount to spend each month, no questions, his lunches can come from that.
Another solution might be to join him for a lunch date occasionally.

No budget.

He doesn't want me for lunch dates. No, he's not cheating, he just likes talking shop with his colleagues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't want me for lunch dates. No, he's not cheating, he just likes talking shop with his colleagues.

Sounds like him eating out every day is a cost of doing business and you'll have to get used to it. He can't be the guy who sits in his office brown-bagging it while everyone else goes out to lunch.

[Anonymous]

Not sure what the problem is. It’s clear he does work lunches with colleagues and is happy with that. You could do the same, meet a friend, or enjoy leftovers. Go out to eat together on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't want me for lunch dates. No, he's not cheating, he just likes talking shop with his colleagues.

Sounds like him eating out every day is a cost of doing business and you'll have to get used to it. He can't be the guy who sits in his office brown-bagging it while everyone else goes out to lunch.

This is right, and he probably also likes the socializing so, unless it's a problem for your budget, I'd let it go. I get that you are unhappy about where you life and your remote work situation, but it won't make you happier to take away something that brings your spouse joy.

HOWEVER, the necessary and correct compromise from him is to go out to eat in the evenings with you regularly, to try the restaurants you want to try, and to schedule an occasional lunch date with you.

[Anonymous]

Is there something stopping you from going out to lunch without him? Going with a friend, a colleague who lives in the area, with a book, whatever.

I don't think you can stop him from going out to eat - or if you could, I don't think it's worth the cost of doing it. I think all you can do is make your own lunch plans!

[Anonymous]

I don't have any local friends (again, trailing spouse who works at home).

It's not a cost of doing business for him. People DO brown bag. He just goes around the office and finds the ones who haven't that day or decide going out is a better option than what he brought. I know because I've run into some of them at events (military) and they joke about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have any local friends (again, trailing spouse who works at home).

It's not a cost of doing business for him. People DO brown bag. He just goes around the office and finds the ones who haven't that day or decide going out is a better option than what he brought. I know because I've run into some of them at events (military) and they joke about it.

It is a cost of doing business, you're just being petulant about it. He needs to stay on good terms with his coworkers. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

You should go out for lunch if you want to. Go solo if you don't know anybody. Getting out of the office is a nice way to break up the day.

[Anonymous]

Go get take out for lunch.

[Anonymous]

What do you guys do for dinner during the week? Do you cook? Start going out for lunch and save the leftovers for dinners. If DH doesn't want leftovers for dinner he can cook or take you out.

[Anonymous]

Is the issue the cost? Because there’s nothing stopping you from going out yourself, yes? Although perhaps you are not comfortable going out alone? I have no issue with it so in your shoes that’s what I’d do. Or I’d get good takeout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure how to stop this. I'll eat leftovers for 1-3 days straight for lunch while he's eating out at a different restaurant every day, including some I'd love to try but he never wants to in the evening. Sometimes I'll ask him if we can get lunch, but he's always already got other plans. No, he's not in sales or a job that requires he dine with customers or anything. I suggest he take some leftovers to work, but he refuses. What can I do?

(Yes, I work from home, no, it's not my decision (trailing spouse). I hate everything about working remote, including this.)

Not sure what the complaint is as you complain about two things (getting lunch together and him not taking lunch) that seem contradictory.
Seems reasonable to ask him to set aside one day a week that he could join you for lunch so that you can get out the house. Hard to believe him not going to lunch one day a week would really have a detrimental impact on employees.

You never state if cost is a problem, if is not, I'm not sure what your complaint is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure how to stop this. I'll eat leftovers for 1-3 days straight for lunch while he's eating out at a different restaurant every day, including some I'd love to try but he never wants to in the evening. Sometimes I'll ask him if we can get lunch, but he's always already got other plans. No, he's not in sales or a job that requires he dine with customers or anything. I suggest he take some leftovers to work, but he refuses. What can I do?

(Yes, I work from home, no, it's not my decision (trailing spouse). I hate everything about working remote, including this.)

Go out for lunch and dinner by yourself or with a friend. If DH won't eat the leftovers, tell him to order for 1 and donate/trash leftovers.