Pretty angry. Women I’m supposed to be going out with in 5 hours just texted me this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what would you have preferred?

She gave you fairly substantial notice (5hrs- its not like you were already on your way there) and was upfront about wanting to cancel.

Would you rather have gone on a date with someone who didn’t want to be there. If she just came to the realization that day that she wasn’t ready to date, what could she have done differently?

I also agree with everyone else who thinks anger is a concerning emotion to be feeling in this context.

The problem isn't how she said it. It's that he feels she rejected him. She said "no," and there is no right way to do that -- not to him.

So, anger. And guess who is going to get to experience that anger? Yeah. He's not going to deal with his own emotions on his own.

So now you have gone to just making up a complete lie that tOP is somehow going to attack or harass this woman? YOu are disgusting! Honestly, Jeff needs to get a handle on posters like you. You are bad as the men who post nasty comments about women.

- a women sick of the man hating commentary on DCUM.

How many women are you? Or are you just OP, who can't spell the singular "woman" correctly either?

I'm not OP. Do you understand how keyboard and aunto text work? Or is your expertise limited to grammar policing and misandry?

[Anonymous]

You got rejected. The reason she gave you is meaningless. Women use the ex excuse more than any other. She changed her mind. Move on. Your anger is wasted spirit. There are so many women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what would you have preferred?

She gave you fairly substantial notice (5hrs- its not like you were already on your way there) and was upfront about wanting to cancel.

Would you rather have gone on a date with someone who didn’t want to be there. If she just came to the realization that day that she wasn’t ready to date, what could she have done differently?

I also agree with everyone else who thinks anger is a concerning emotion to be feeling in this context.

The problem isn't how she said it. It's that he feels she rejected him. She said "no," and there is no right way to do that -- not to him.

So, anger. And guess who is going to get to experience that anger? Yeah. He's not going to deal with his own emotions on his own.

So now you have gone to just making up a complete lie that tOP is somehow going to attack or harass this woman? YOu are disgusting! Honestly, Jeff needs to get a handle on posters like you. You are bad as the men who post nasty comments about women.

- a women sick of the man hating commentary on DCUM.

How many women are you? Or are you just OP, who can't spell the singular "woman" correctly either?

I'm not OP. Do you understand how keyboard and aunto text work? Or is your expertise limited to grammar policing and misandry?

Hilarious. Keep going, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is a typical man and the only feeling he’s allowed himself to have (due to socialization) is rage. So he actually feels hurt or disappointed, but he has transformed this into anger because that’s an acceptable emotion for a man. I think he should get therapy, not because he’s a bad person, but because being able to identify and feel a range of emotions is healthy.

Thank you - I’m hurt and disappointed, not angry. When I feel this way I just label it as anger or being pissed off. I’m upset and confused at the situation not her per se, though if she knew she was still emotionally wrapped up in someone else it would’ve been nice to know before today.

OP, what's better or easier about calling it "anger" or "pissed off," if it's not really anger, but really "hurt and disappointed?" Why label it as something it is not?

Growing up, and even now, sitting around with my friends and my dad we don’t sit there and say “well I’m disappointed I didn’t get the job”. Instead, we shrug and say “eh yea I’m kind of pissed I didn’t get the job”. Just doesn’t sound as weak I guess? Just conditioned that way I think. Most of the men I know, myself included obviously, have a limited vocabulary when it comes to labeling emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is quite literally not wasting your time by being honest and canceling your date. Your frame of thinking for this is entirely wrong.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what would you have preferred?

She gave you fairly substantial notice (5hrs- its not like you were already on your way there) and was upfront about wanting to cancel.

Would you rather have gone on a date with someone who didn’t want to be there. If she just came to the realization that day that she wasn’t ready to date, what could she have done differently?

I also agree with everyone else who thinks anger is a concerning emotion to be feeling in this context.

The problem isn't how she said it. It's that he feels she rejected him. She said "no," and there is no right way to do that -- not to him.

So, anger. And guess who is going to get to experience that anger? Yeah. He's not going to deal with his own emotions on his own.

So now you have gone to just making up a complete lie that tOP is somehow going to attack or harass this woman? YOu are disgusting! Honestly, Jeff needs to get a handle on posters like you. You are bad as the men who post nasty comments about women.

- a women sick of the man hating commentary on DCUM.

How many women are you? Or are you just OP, who can't spell the singular "woman" correctly either?

I'm not OP. Do you understand how keyboard and aunto text work? Or is your expertise limited to grammar policing and misandry?

Hilarious. Keep going, OP.

Go ahead and ask Jeff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is a typical man and the only feeling he’s allowed himself to have (due to socialization) is rage. So he actually feels hurt or disappointed, but he has transformed this into anger because that’s an acceptable emotion for a man. I think he should get therapy, not because he’s a bad person, but because being able to identify and feel a range of emotions is healthy.

Thank you - I’m hurt and disappointed, not angry. When I feel this way I just label it as anger or being pissed off. I’m upset and confused at the situation not her per se, though if she knew she was still emotionally wrapped up in someone else it would’ve been nice to know before today.

OP, what's better or easier about calling it "anger" or "pissed off," if it's not really anger, but really "hurt and disappointed?" Why label it as something it is not?

Growing up, and even now, sitting around with my friends and my dad we don’t sit there and say “well I’m disappointed I didn’t get the job”. Instead, we shrug and say “eh yea I’m kind of pissed I didn’t get the job”. Just doesn’t sound as weak I guess? Just conditioned that way I think. Most of the men I know, myself included obviously, have a limited vocabulary when it comes to labeling emotions.

Your thread would have been more interesting if you had just been honest about wanting to discuss the ways men are socialized to express their emotions and how that impacts their relationships instead of creating a fake story about a cancelled date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shudder OP sounds sleazy and scary, that “women” dodged a huge bullet

And you sound stupid.

Lol I see I triggered a snowflake here, you a man who can’t bear to hear anything remotely negative about your grandiosity or an idiot woman who’s with an abusive partner who tells her to shut and she does?

Tsk tsk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shudder OP sounds sleazy and scary, that “women” dodged a huge bullet

And you sound stupid.

Lol I see I triggered a snowflake here, you a man who can’t bear to hear anything remotely negative about your grandiosity or an idiot woman who’s with an abusive partner who tells her to shut and she does?

Tsk tsk.

I'm not a man. I'm a woman, tired of women like you who post your manhating vitriol in every threat thinking it makes you sound enlightened or that you are supporting women by doing so. ITItdoesn't. It makes you seem ignorant. It's as bad as the men who post the women bashing stuff. It's ruining the forum and needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

How many women were you going out with? They all canceled?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is a typical man and the only feeling he’s allowed himself to have (due to socialization) is rage. So he actually feels hurt or disappointed, but he has transformed this into anger because that’s an acceptable emotion for a man. I think he should get therapy, not because he’s a bad person, but because being able to identify and feel a range of emotions is healthy.

Thank you - I’m hurt and disappointed, not angry. When I feel this way I just label it as anger or being pissed off. I’m upset and confused at the situation not her per se, though if she knew she was still emotionally wrapped up in someone else it would’ve been nice to know before today.

OP, what's better or easier about calling it "anger" or "pissed off," if it's not really anger, but really "hurt and disappointed?" Why label it as something it is not?

Growing up, and even now, sitting around with my friends and my dad we don’t sit there and say “well I’m disappointed I didn’t get the job”. Instead, we shrug and say “eh yea I’m kind of pissed I didn’t get the job”. Just doesn’t sound as weak I guess? Just conditioned that way I think. Most of the men I know, myself included obviously, have a limited vocabulary when it comes to labeling emotions.

Your thread would have been more interesting if you had just been honest about wanting to discuss the ways men are socialized to express their emotions and how that impacts their relationships instead of creating a fake story about a cancelled date.

……I didn’t create a fake story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were supposed to be going out tonight at 8 and she confirmed early this morning. She just sent me this text:

“ Hey want be honest with you. My ex keeps contacting me and asked to work on things this morning and honestly it’s screwing with my head. It wouldn’t feel right going out. So sorry but I wanted to be honest.”

I’m pretty angry. Why would she waste my time?

Wow. What a mature, thoughtful woman. I’m not sure why you can’t see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shudder OP sounds sleazy and scary, that “women” dodged a huge bullet

And you sound stupid.

Lol I see I triggered a snowflake here, you a man who can’t bear to hear anything remotely negative about your grandiosity or an idiot woman who’s with an abusive partner who tells her to shut and she does?

Tsk tsk.

I'm not a man. I'm a woman, tired of women like you who post your manhating vitriol in every threat thinking it makes you sound enlightened or that you are supporting women by doing so. ITItdoesn't. It makes you seem ignorant. It's as bad as the men who post the women bashing stuff. It's ruining the forum and needs to stop.

You sound angry why are you wasting your time with me? (Get itttttttt??)

Lolz at manhating vitriol cool boomer band name I guess

[Anonymous]

I think it is very courteous that she is letting you know this sooner…..rather than later.

Her honesty is refreshing.

Be grateful that she didn’t tell you this after you may have fallen for her.

I think you are a lucky guy. 😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is a typical man and the only feeling he’s allowed himself to have (due to socialization) is rage. So he actually feels hurt or disappointed, but he has transformed this into anger because that’s an acceptable emotion for a man. I think he should get therapy, not because he’s a bad person, but because being able to identify and feel a range of emotions is healthy.

Thank you - I’m hurt and disappointed, not angry. When I feel this way I just label it as anger or being pissed off. I’m upset and confused at the situation not her per se, though if she knew she was still emotionally wrapped up in someone else it would’ve been nice to know before today.

OP, what's better or easier about calling it "anger" or "pissed off," if it's not really anger, but really "hurt and disappointed?" Why label it as something it is not?

Growing up, and even now, sitting around with my friends and my dad we don’t sit there and say “well I’m disappointed I didn’t get the job”. Instead, we shrug and say “eh yea I’m kind of pissed I didn’t get the job”. Just doesn’t sound as weak I guess? Just conditioned that way I think. Most of the men I know, myself included obviously, have a limited vocabulary when it comes to labeling emotions.

Your thread would have been more interesting if you had just been honest about wanting to discuss the ways men are socialized to express their emotions and how that impacts their relationships instead of creating a fake story about a cancelled date.

……I didn’t create a fake story.

Of course not. You just failed to respond to the majority of the thread and responded to a singular post that just magically pointed out your issue and you and the poster just magically happen to have an identical style of writing that is remarkably different from you're OP. Good topic. You just should have been honest about it.