Women do you want to be approached?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ That's all fine and reasonable, except where certain women decide that if a man does anything at all unwanted, he's a "creep" or "toxic."

So? The man should back off then.

Yes the woman should approach the man. It is 2021. There are a million apps like tinder right? How many profiles could you get through by the time you approach one woman in a bar and chat her up? Why waste your time with someone who in most case will not be receptive?

[Anonymous]

I’m curious to know the age and relationship status of the people who have answered.

I’m 31 and engaged. I’m fine with being approached in a public setting by someone who is being friendly and respectful. When I was single I did actually go on dates with men who approached me at bars and, once, with someone I met at the beach with friends. Now that I’m engaged (I don’t wear a ring while at work) I just mention my fiancé or say no thanks and I haven’t had issues. Men who are rude and aggressive when they hear “no” are trash.

My single friends are fine with men approaching them politely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to know the age and relationship status of the people who have answered.

I’m 31 and engaged. I’m fine with being approached in a public setting by someone who is being friendly and respectful. When I was single I did actually go on dates with men who approached me at bars and, once, with someone I met at the beach with friends. Now that I’m engaged (I don’t wear a ring while at work) I just mention my fiancé or say no thanks and I haven’t had issues. Men who are rude and aggressive when they hear “no” are trash.

My single friends are fine with men approaching them politely

I’m married and 42 and I get a kick out of it if I’m in a similar setting. But I quickly let them know I’m married and it’s nice when they say he must be a lucky guy. A couple of times my DH has shown up and that’s always fun because he’s very cool with it. No one has ever been rude or obnoxious so maybe I’m lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ That's all fine and reasonable, except where certain women decide that if a man does anything at all unwanted, he's a "creep" or "toxic."

Here’s the logic problem. Not all men who approach women are toxic and creeps

BUT

All men who are toxic creeps who are physically dangerous approach women. At least once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"playing with your phone"? once you throw that in, theres basically no time left in which it would be appropriate for you to be approached. is it really so bad to occasionally have to make small talk for a minute or two and then cue that you're not interested in further conversation and go back to what you were doing?

Say four different men do this within an hour’s time. Still say it’s not “really so bad”? How should someone signal that they don’t want to be approached, just want to be left in peace, don’t want to have to expend energy trying to be polite and navigate showing disinterest without risking making the guy mad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ That's all fine and reasonable, except where certain women decide that if a man does anything at all unwanted, he's a "creep" or "toxic."

Uh….yea. That’s pretty much the definition of a creep, doing things you know women don’t want. Glad you seem to grasp that.

What’s your deal? Why do you think it’s acceptable to do things to women you know they don’t want?

[Anonymous]

not all women do not want to be approached, as shown by many of the responses in this thread. so in some situations, until the guy approaches and gets a "no" or a cold shoulder, he won't be able to know it's unwanted. they're not clairvoyant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not all women do not want to be approached, as shown by many of the responses in this thread. so in some situations, until the guy approaches and gets a "no" or a cold shoulder, he won't be able to know it's unwanted. they're not clairvoyant.

Or he could just leave them alone, date on apps, or approach women in clearly social settings. There is no entitlement to a woman’s time, even the amount it takes her to tell you to go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not all women do not want to be approached, as shown by many of the responses in this thread. so in some situations, until the guy approaches and gets a "no" or a cold shoulder, he won't be able to know it's unwanted. they're not clairvoyant.

Or he could just leave them alone, date on apps, or approach women in clearly social settings. There is no entitlement to a woman’s time, even the amount it takes her to tell you to go away.

You don't speak for all women, and dating apps are not without problems. I honestly don't mind guys approaching me as long as they aren't weird and take no for an answer as has been explained before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not all women do not want to be approached, as shown by many of the responses in this thread. so in some situations, until the guy approaches and gets a "no" or a cold shoulder, he won't be able to know it's unwanted. they're not clairvoyant.

Or he could just leave them alone, date on apps, or approach women in clearly social settings. There is no entitlement to a woman’s time, even the amount it takes her to tell you to go away.

You don't speak for all women, and dating apps are not without problems. I honestly don't mind guys approaching me as long as they aren't weird and take no for an answer as has been explained before.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

plus a million. It’s pretty obvious why people are having trouble meeting someone. This thread makes me want to never approach a woman for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

The best thing about this thread is it's made me feel less bad about myself for being too shy to hit on women I encounter randomly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

[Anonymous]

Late 30s woman here. I prefer to approached anywhere really. I think it’s odd that people are saying it’s weird nowadays. I’m in a relationship now, probably marrying my guy, but I wouldn’t be offended if someone approached me today.

[Anonymous]

Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.