Husband wants to go to Vegas on his paternity leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. I don’t see what the big deal is. He’s home all day with newborns as well and wants to join a weekend trip with his buddies.

Despite the hype, mothering two kids and keeping them alive for 3 days isn’t climbing Everest.

Please tell us more about your expertise on mothering, male human.

Literally half the planet has done it since the dawn of time? I know that much. And 99%+ of those have done it under a whole hell of a lot more duress than “my husband went to Vegas for 2.5 days” and left me in my suburban, air-conditioned, well-appointed 5000 square foot home with two kids. Get over yourselves.

Well...certain type of victim woman will take a lot of shit from their DH. The DH who wrote above is married to a woman with low self-esteem and can get away by doing these kinds of things.

Feel sorry for the children who are raised in such shitty marriages.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Eh, let him know that if he goes to Vegas, you will pump and go off for a girls spa weekend and leave him with both kids too, since you need to rest and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, let him know that if he goes to Vegas, you will pump and go off for a girls spa weekend and leave him with both kids too, since you need to rest and all.

I'm the pp whose husband went to Coachella. I mean...yeah? My husband would be fine with our kids for the weekend. That's kind of the point. Instead of being smug you married a guy who doesn't want to take a guys trip why aren't you sad you don't have a spouse you feel comfortable leaving your own children with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a twin and his mother got her masters while taking care of the twin babies. She said it was perfect timing since babies sleep at lot.

When his mom went back to work (teaching) she and my husband's dad worked opposite shifts -- she taught 1st grade daytime and his dad worked 2nd shift at an international company. It worked perfectly and his parents never got on each others nerves since they didn't see each other much!

OP, Let the husband go, and in 3 months you can take your girls' trip.

That's nice for her. Mine sure didn't. I drove myself crazy trying to make the first one nap as much as the books said he should. At 7 year he still wakes up bouncing with energy at 6 am. It's obscene. The second one wasn't so bad except for the part where she didn't sleep through the night until 18 months.

I'm sure OP could manage. But why should she have to? I think it's a pretty jerk move on DH's part. Here she suffered through the whole recent pregnancy, during the pandemic no less, and when the kid is only 2 months old he gets to have a nice break from his cushy life of not being pregnant or nursing, and she gets jack. As others have said, if it was for a work trip he couldn't get out of, or an important family event or friend's wedding or something, then it's worth it. But for a guys weekend out when he just had one, when she was pregnant, and she's had zilch? Nope. Jerk move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a twin and his mother got her masters while taking care of the twin babies. She said it was perfect timing since babies sleep at lot.

When his mom went back to work (teaching) she and my husband's dad worked opposite shifts -- she taught 1st grade daytime and his dad worked 2nd shift at an international company. It worked perfectly and his parents never got on each others nerves since they didn't see each other much!

OP, Let the husband go, and in 3 months you can take your girls' trip.

No not all babies sleep a lot and adults need more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. Some of us had babies that woke every 2-3 hours for months. Not days. Not bad days. Every day.

[Anonymous]

F that! I would seriously tell him to get his ass back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, let him know that if he goes to Vegas, you will pump and go off for a girls spa weekend and leave him with both kids too, since you need to rest and all.

I'm the pp whose husband went to Coachella. I mean...yeah? My husband would be fine with our kids for the weekend. That's kind of the point. Instead of being smug you married a guy who doesn't want to take a guys trip why aren't you sad you don't have a spouse you feel comfortable leaving your own children with?

I am so with you. And yes, my kids woke up every 3 hours as almost all newborns ever do. I honestly liked being home with them alone. And I also like taking trips. And I want my husband to have fun. And for those that think going to Vegas means cheating I think maybe you don’t get out much? If your husband wants to cheat, it’s happening and probably not in Vegas. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, let him know that if he goes to Vegas, you will pump and go off for a girls spa weekend and leave him with both kids too, since you need to rest and all.

I'm the pp whose husband went to Coachella. I mean...yeah? My husband would be fine with our kids for the weekend. That's kind of the point. Instead of being smug you married a guy who doesn't want to take a guys trip why aren't you sad you don't have a spouse you feel comfortable leaving your own children with?

Bingo! We have a super healthy relationship. But parents are also people and should have time with friends. It works 100% both ways.

And spare us the notion that mothering a newborn and a toddler for a couple days is an insurmountable challenge. Drama llamas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, let him know that if he goes to Vegas, you will pump and go off for a girls spa weekend and leave him with both kids too, since you need to rest and all.

I'm the pp whose husband went to Coachella. I mean...yeah? My husband would be fine with our kids for the weekend. That's kind of the point. Instead of being smug you married a guy who doesn't want to take a guys trip why aren't you sad you don't have a spouse you feel comfortable leaving your own children with?

Bingo! We have a super healthy relationship. But parents are also people and should have time with friends. It works 100% both ways.

And spare us the notion that mothering a newborn and a toddler for a couple days is an insurmountable challenge. Drama llamas.

Except the OP is already supposedly getting a weekend off for a previous Vegas trip, that her partner took while she was 7months pregnant and home with a toddler. What a gem. Real winner. I am sure he is totally going to prioritize his wife getting time to herself when he gets back from his second solo trip in four months.

No, OP, most men do not need to go to Vegas every four months when they have young children. I also suspect there is more than drinking and gambling going on.

Yes sometimes it is necessary that one parent be alone with the kids for a weekend even eight weeks postpartum. The parent going away then takes on the responsibility of ensuring there is ample support and pitches in extra when they get back. Necessary is things like work, an ill parent, a siblings wedding, etc.

For the men so secure in their masculinity that they’re posting on a page for expectant and postpartum mothers, please let us know how often you have taken solo weekends with eight week old infants and toddlers in your care? I very rarely hear of men doing that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many snowflake women here. It's a few days. if you can't handle your 2 kids for a few days you should not have had a 2nd one.

NP here, and I echo the sentiments above. However, I also feel that husbands need to learn how to manage their kids on their own as well, so I think mom should plan 48 hours away at some point early on also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a twin and his mother got her masters while taking care of the twin babies. She said it was perfect timing since babies sleep at lot.

When his mom went back to work (teaching) she and my husband's dad worked opposite shifts -- she taught 1st grade daytime and his dad worked 2nd shift at an international company. It worked perfectly and his parents never got on each others nerves since they didn't see each other much!

OP, Let the husband go, and in 3 months you can take your girls' trip.

No not all babies sleep a lot and adults need more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. Some of us had babies that woke every 2-3 hours for months. Not days. Not bad days. Every day.

OMG thank you for saying this! I’m in that stage now. 10.5 weeks and counting with no more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. I’m too tired to think!
Single mom so no DH but yes no way would I be saying yes to this.

[Anonymous]

Since you are already owed a weekend, I’d tell him he can’t go until you get yours. Fair is fair.

Pump and leave for two nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a twin and his mother got her masters while taking care of the twin babies. She said it was perfect timing since babies sleep at lot.

When his mom went back to work (teaching) she and my husband's dad worked opposite shifts -- she taught 1st grade daytime and his dad worked 2nd shift at an international company. It worked perfectly and his parents never got on each others nerves since they didn't see each other much!

OP, Let the husband go, and in 3 months you can take your girls' trip.

No not all babies sleep a lot and adults need more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. Some of us had babies that woke every 2-3 hours for months. Not days. Not bad days. Every day.

OMG thank you for saying this! I’m in that stage now. 10.5 weeks and counting with no more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time. I’m too tired to think!
Single mom so no DH but yes no way would I be saying yes to this.

From one single mom to another - hang in there. My second was like this. At exactly 4 months I did Ferber. She didn’t sleep through the night, but finally got 5 hours of sleep and only one 5 am wake up. It’s soooo rough. Sending you my extra energy.

[Anonymous]

Lol going to Vegas twice in four months is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:F that! I would seriously tell him to get his ass back to work.

It's a weekend?! And he likely has a paid paternity leave