Husband wants to go to Vegas on his paternity leave

[Anonymous]

Just had baby #2 and DH and I are at home on parental leave with a 3.5 year old and a 4-week old. A couple of DH’s friends are going to Vegas for a weekend in a month and he wants to join them. I said no and that it seems pretty selfish and now he is acting cold. Seriously, what gives? Should he be able to go to Vegas and stick me with a newborn who is nursing around the clock and a 3 year old? I don’t understand why he would even ask. I doubt he’d want me to go for a weekend with friends and leave him with a new baby and a preschooler…
Has anyone else ran in to this? Am I the jerk for not letting him go blow a bunch of $$ in Vegas with his buddies while we are on leave?

[Anonymous]

He is maybe not a jerk for asking on the off chance you get up to it, but definitely a jerk for his additude after. Not a chance would I have let DH go. I mean maybe if I had family in town who could help and the baby was super easy and the older kid was in full time daycare and it was a special occasion for his friends. But I was super overwhelmed when my second was a newborn and would not have wanted DH to leave me unless absolutely necessary.

[Anonymous]

Tell him he can go if he takes the 3.5 year old.

[Anonymous]

What is the real issue here? You list a bunch of things, but what's the deepest one?

Is it the money?

Is it the crushing responsibility of a newborn + toddler?

Or is it just....anger that he is able to have an independent life in a way that you can't as a postpartum nursing mom?

Answer that question and then it will be clearer how to move forward.

[Anonymous]

LMAO Well, we know where his priorities are

[Anonymous]

Technically its only a weekend. Fly out late Friday night, come back early Sunday and be ready to parent 24/7 while you sleep Mon-Weds is how I would swing it.

But up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the real issue here? You list a bunch of things, but what's the deepest one?

Is it the money?

Is it the crushing responsibility of a newborn + toddler?

Or is it just....anger that he is able to have an independent life in a way that you can't as a postpartum nursing mom?

Answer that question and then it will be clearer how to move forward.

I’m annoyed by all aspects of the above. But I think my top 2 are: money (can’t we put that $3k or whatever it’ll cost for that trip toward doing something nice as a family later on?) and the fact that I can’t have the freedom to just leave the newborn and do whatever the hell I want for a weekend right now. Not that I’d want to leave my baby right now, but I feel like he must not appreciate all the work I’m doing and don’t feel supported when he apparently thinks he should be able to do a Vegas trip right now.

Also- he went to Vegas 4 months ago for a leisure trip

[Anonymous]

I would let him go. At some point I preferred to have some alone time to manage the babies as I pleased.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You truly married a piece of trash. I’m really sorry. He sounds like my ex husband.

[Anonymous]

It’s a stupid ask and his response since is not good.

I’m sorry op

[Anonymous]

3k? Geez I am low budget.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Do others’ husbands ask to do similar things when their wife is on maternity leave? Did I marry a jerk?

[Anonymous]

I would let him go and also tell him you will be going on a girls trip when you are done nursing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3k? Geez I am low budget.

I don’t even know what it’ll cost. Flight, hotel, food, and whatever gambling costs… I’m sure there will be a peer pressure factor in going with friends.

[Anonymous]

How is your intimate life? Vegas is not just about gambling.