Why are some girls so lucky in love and others struggle?

[Anonymous]

I don't think many smart men marry someone who is "just there"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think many smart men marry someone who is "just there"

LOL. They do all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think many smart men marry someone who is "just there"

This accounts for probably 2/3 of all marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others (the title is more misogynistic than the book). I found it rather insightful.

How is the title misogynistic?

It implies that men go around choosing whom to marry while women need to jostle to be picked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others (the title is more misogynistic than the book). I found it rather insightful.

How is the title misogynistic?

It implies that men go around choosing whom to marry while women need to jostle to be picked.

That's funny, I always thought it was the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Because some women give off a haughty vibe that men dislike. The "I am so together and so great and very few men meet my standards" type. Men like women who are.down to earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because some women give off a haughty vibe that men dislike. The "I am so together and so great and very few men meet my standards" type. Men like women who are.down to earth.

Avoid the type of men who would write this.

[Anonymous]

All the pretty smart nice girls get snatched up. These are the naturally pretty smart girls.

If you are average looks, your chances are lower. If you are not smart, even lower. The not so good looking girls who have ridiculously high standards are the ones who have the problems I think.

I don’t know if it is just in my circles but the ones who are pretty with make up and surgery often seem to end up in divorce or are the ones who don’t get the ring. They seem worse off than the plain smart nice ones.

[Anonymous]

Luck, but also being pretty and charming help.

I’ve been proposed to three times, married (and divorced) once, and am moving in with my boyfriend, whom I am planning to marry. I’m attractive, but I think what makes me most appealing is that I’m fun, empathetic, and witty. Pretty is nice, but personality goes a long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the pretty smart nice girls get snatched up. These are the naturally pretty smart girls.

If you are average looks, your chances are lower. If you are not smart, even lower. The not so good looking girls who have ridiculously high standards are the ones who have the problems I think.

I don’t know if it is just in my circles but the ones who are pretty with make up and surgery often seem to end up in divorce or are the ones who don’t get the ring. They seem worse off than the plain smart nice ones.

This most of my friends were all with their future husbands by 28 at the latest. All were highly accomplished, had great careers (highly educated-graduate degrees, law degrees, MD, etc), played college sports and very pretty.

But, yes, nice. Good genetics for offspring.

[Anonymous]

They know 'the man is NOT the plan'.

Desperation is never attractive. Women that could take you or leave you because they have their own means to support themselves, good job/degree, good credit, no drama reek sexiness. Smart, successful men don't want idiots for wives (or their genetics for their future children). They aren't looking to be daddy or have a mommy figure. They like to be challenged mentally and ...the physical (intimacy). The girl that just wants to worship him hand and foot and has no opinions but is just agreeable--and is desperate to move the relationship to ring on the finger immediately...no, no, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They know 'the man is NOT the plan'.

Desperation is never attractive. Women that could take you or leave you because they have their own means to support themselves, good job/degree, good credit, no drama reek sexiness. Smart, successful men don't want idiots for wives (or their genetics for their future children). They aren't looking to be daddy or have a mommy figure. They like to be challenged mentally and ...the physical (intimacy). The girl that just wants to worship him hand and foot and has no opinions but is just agreeable--and is desperate to move the relationship to ring on the finger immediately...no, no, no.

In my experience, men were intimidated by this type of woman and instead married the type that you say they don’t want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the pretty smart nice girls get snatched up. These are the naturally pretty smart girls.

If you are average looks, your chances are lower. If you are not smart, even lower. The not so good looking girls who have ridiculously high standards are the ones who have the problems I think.

I don’t know if it is just in my circles but the ones who are pretty with make up and surgery often seem to end up in divorce or are the ones who don’t get the ring. They seem worse off than the plain smart nice ones.

Let me guess . . . you are one of them! And “get the ring?” What is this, a 1950s game show?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Luck, but also being pretty and charming help.

I’ve been proposed to three times, married (and divorced) once, and am moving in with my boyfriend, whom I am planning to marry. I’m attractive, but I think what makes me most appealing is that I’m fun, empathetic, and witty. Pretty is nice, but personality goes a long way.

You’re also so incredibly humble - the perfect woman. Wow jealous of your boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think some people find love so easily and effortlessly while others struggle or are perpetually single?

Why do you think some people find true love and their partners so easily while others wait years to find it and endure so much heartbreak? Dumb luck?

I’ve (32F) always found relationships/hook-ups somewhat easily but that’s probably because I’m outgoing and conventionally attractive. I found true love and a potential life partner at 19 but he unexpectedly passed away from a heart defect in 2012, a few weeks before he closed in on a house and I was set to move in. My next LTR was outwardly perfect but actually really abusive - we lived together and were engaged but I was finally brave enough to walk away in summer 2017. Had boyfriends since then but nothing too serious or memorable.

Needless to say I’ve endured a lot of heartbreak. I’ve feel like I’ve been addressing it as best as can be. I’ve built a really great life for myself and at 32, I feel like I’m in a place where I’m actually OK being single and really know what I want in a partner. Not willing to settle! Met some really great men lately but Kobe that I feel was a good match long-term. I sometimes do wonder why some people around me, like my mom, sister and some friends, found good partners so young and without any effort. It’s literally like they walked into a happy relationship and lifelong commitment without every really trying. My sister has been with her boyfriend since 18 and she’s 24 now. My mom has been happily married since age 23. A lot of my friends are married to their high school or college loves. Meanwhile, I have other friends who can barely even get a text back and have been on the singles market for years. A few have never even been in an LTR. They struggle to find good partners and it makes me pretty sad to see this.

There is no real difference in these friends (male and female) in attractiveness or awesomeness. They’re all equal in my eyes. And I’m not wondering this to be bitter - I’m generally just curious. I also know no one is immune to breakup up or divorce. Is it just dumb luck? It be like that sometimes?

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Some women don’t

The happy women know the truth

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