Turned down friends thermostat during the night and they feel I did something wrong....Question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this causes such a rift in the friendship, that you need to post, you aren't close enough to have been a guest at their house.

Here's what: if the only sleeping arrangement option was for OP to literally be sleeping in the same room as her hosts, during a global pandemic no less, she likely pushed herself on them because she is too cheap for a hotel.

So they were doing her a major favor by letting her crash with them.

She's already straining the friendship and pushing her luck...and then to decide everyone else should freeze because she's having a hot flash is beyond. It was likely the final straw. OP is cheap and greedy. And rude.

[Anonymous]

Super weird behavior, especially since she didn’t think the house was objectively too hot, she *knew* it was because of her hot flashes. I wouldn’t even do that to my husband let alone random friends. Obviously no good host would do what OP describes, but given the rest of the OP, this could be a good friend who just said something like “oh no big deal, but please don’t change the thermostat again, it’s set to 71 for XYZ reason. There’s a fan in the closet.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Window.

this

[Anonymous]

I agree OP was already an imposition, then made matters worse by prioritizing her own comfort over her already-inconvenienced hosts.

[Anonymous]

Incredibly rude and entitled, OP.

[Anonymous]

Eh - would depend on how close you are, I think.

Good friends - you'd be free to change the temp, they'd be free to tell you not to.

People you're not as close with - it'd be weird to change the temp, but also weird for them to blow up about it.

[Anonymous]

I never would have touched their thermostat, but if OP was sleeping in the same room with them, it doesn't sound as if opening the window or taking off her covers was an option either.

I wouldn't want a guest to change the temperature in my house, but the host's reaction and the reactions on here seem a bit over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Window.

this

No! Maybe it's because I'm a New Englander but you don't open windows when the heat is on. Just like you don't bake when the AC is on. It's like leaving the fridge open. Is this frugal NE speak? Like it's wasting your utilities? I'd rather have someone turn down the thermostat a bit. But most thermostats go to "hold" and then back to the scheduled routine, so at 6AM it would set to my morning time and I wouldn't have even noticed.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. My menopausal mom did exactly that at my house this week. I was LIVID. I said nothing.

[Anonymous]

Op PLEASE explain the sleeping in the same thing! We need to know to give good advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. My menopausal mom did exactly that at my house this week. I was LIVID. I said nothing.

Well that was your mom not a freeloading, self-centered friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP

1. I'm a little wigged out by the posters who think it's a super big deal. These are not my people.

2. It would strike me as a little odd if the guest adjusted the thermostat, but I wouldn't flip out. I'd just adjust it back after they left ... If they were staying more than one night, I'd ask "Were you hot last night?," and we'd figure it out.

3. I agree the friends overreacted. This business of "you never touch a person's thermostat" is not some universal rule. Some of the posters are just very particular people.

4. Another variable: Are you close friends with these people? The more casual the acquaintance, the odder it is to adjust the thermostat. Among closer friends, who cares? Mi casa, tu casa.

^^Are you me? This is how I feel.

WTF with these posters jumping on OP??

[NP]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP was already an imposition, then made matters worse by prioritizing her own comfort over her already-inconvenienced hosts.

This, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP

1. I'm a little wigged out by the posters who think it's a super big deal. These are not my people.

2. It would strike me as a little odd if the guest adjusted the thermostat, but I wouldn't flip out. I'd just adjust it back after they left ... If they were staying more than one night, I'd ask "Were you hot last night?," and we'd figure it out.

3. I agree the friends overreacted. This business of "you never touch a person's thermostat" is not some universal rule. Some of the posters are just very particular people.

4. Another variable: Are you close friends with these people? The more casual the acquaintance, the odder it is to adjust the thermostat. Among closer friends, who cares? Mi casa, tu casa.

^^Are you me? This is how I feel.

WTF with these posters jumping on OP??

[NP]

I would never change someone's thermostat without asking, but I also wouldn't say anything or dwell on it if someone changed mine (and it was only 2 degrees!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. How can you be menopausal age and lack so much common sense?

2. Why are you spending the night at a friends house during Covid?

3. Why are you sleeping in the same bedroom as the friend and spouse?

4. Couldn’t you just sleep on the sofa and crack a window in the living room?

5. Why can’t you self reflect instead taking a poll on your weird middle age sleepover?

Can OP answer questions 2-5 please? Especially 2.