Ex never, ever goes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. I would end it also. He isn't 100% with you. He may move on eventually...likely when his ex re-marries, but who knows. All you can do is figure he isn't ready now and hasn't been honest with you and move on

OP: According to him, they met when he was 19. She's the only other woman he's ever been with. So, from 19 to 34, she was his life. He said to me once, "It's hard to cut off someone who was part of your life for 20 years. Sometimes they're still important to you even if you aren't in love with them." I don't know what to do with that.

That statement is irrelevant at this point. He's been lying to you. If it's "hard" to cut someone off, he should have told you he was still talking to her all the time. His actions are telling you that it's easy to dupe you and hard to let her go. What do you do with that statement?

OP: He told me I was jealous and insecure when I told him their relationship bothered me. Sigh.

The longer this thread goes on, the more clear it is that you thrive on drama. You're signing on for it even though every single person has told you to move on, so have fun.

What is there to think about and decide?

a) You dump him and find a guy who wants to be with you 100%

b) You remain the third wheel for the rest of your life, with the very real possibility that a few years down the line whenyou are married with kids he leaves you for her.

OP: No, no, no. I was just sharing what he told me the last time I brought up his relationship with her, months and months ago. I haven't spoken to him about this yet. Still thinking and deciding my move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. I would end it also. He isn't 100% with you. He may move on eventually...likely when his ex re-marries, but who knows. All you can do is figure he isn't ready now and hasn't been honest with you and move on

OP: According to him, they met when he was 19. She's the only other woman he's ever been with. So, from 19 to 34, she was his life. He said to me once, "It's hard to cut off someone who was part of your life for 20 years. Sometimes they're still important to you even if you aren't in love with them." I don't know what to do with that.

That statement is irrelevant at this point. He's been lying to you. If it's "hard" to cut someone off, he should have told you he was still talking to her all the time. His actions are telling you that it's easy to dupe you and hard to let her go. What do you do with that statement?

OP: He told me I was jealous and insecure when I told him their relationship bothered me. Sigh.

The longer this thread goes on, the more clear it is that you thrive on drama. You're signing on for it even though every single person has told you to move on, so have fun.

OP: No, no, no. I was just sharing what he told me the last time I brought up his relationship with her, months and months ago. I haven't spoken to him about this yet. Still thinking and deciding my move.

What is there to think about and decide?

a) You dump him and find a guy who wants to be with you 100%

b) You remain the third wheel for the rest of your life, with the very real possibility that a few years down the line when you are married with kids he leaves you for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. I would end it also. He isn't 100% with you. He may move on eventually...likely when his ex re-marries, but who knows. All you can do is figure he isn't ready now and hasn't been honest with you and move on

OP: According to him, they met when he was 19. She's the only other woman he's ever been with. So, from 19 to 34, she was his life. He said to me once, "It's hard to cut off someone who was part of your life for 20 years. Sometimes they're still important to you even if you aren't in love with them." I don't know what to do with that.

That statement is irrelevant at this point. He's been lying to you. If it's "hard" to cut someone off, he should have told you he was still talking to her all the time. His actions are telling you that it's easy to dupe you and hard to let her go. What do you do with that statement?

OP: He told me I was jealous and insecure when I told him their relationship bothered me. Sigh.

The longer this thread goes on, the more clear it is that you thrive on drama. You're signing on for it even though every single person has told you to move on, so have fun.

/yep. OP wants to "win" She thinks she will get him to choose her eventually. Notice the title of this thread " Ex never ever goes away" not " My boyfriend is inappropriate with his ex."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Does he have kids with her?

OP: Nope, no kids, so all contact is totally by choice.

PP here. Dump him. I was giving the benefit of the doubt, but dude has issues.

Oh hell no. Not cool. Find someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. I would end it also. He isn't 100% with you. He may move on eventually...likely when his ex re-marries, but who knows. All you can do is figure he isn't ready now and hasn't been honest with you and move on

OP: According to him, they met when he was 19. She's the only other woman he's ever been with. So, from 19 to 34, she was his life. He said to me once, "It's hard to cut off someone who was part of your life for 20 years. Sometimes they're still important to you even if you aren't in love with them." I don't know what to do with that.

That statement is irrelevant at this point. He's been lying to you. If it's "hard" to cut someone off, he should have told you he was still talking to her all the time. His actions are telling you that it's easy to dupe you and hard to let her go. What do you do with that statement?

OP: He told me I was jealous and insecure when I told him their relationship bothered me. Sigh.

The longer this thread goes on, the more clear it is that you thrive on drama. You're signing on for it even though every single person has told you to move on, so have fun.

/yep. OP wants to "win" She thinks she will get him to choose her eventually. Notice the title of this thread " Ex never ever goes away" not " My boyfriend is inappropriate with his ex."

+1. OP, PLEASE don't try to win. You don't have to admit to us, but admit to yourself. You think the ex is the problem and you want to win this man. Please, save yourself the heartache. Some of us have been there. It is NOT worth it and there is no prize in the end. Walk away with your head up high. Tell yourself, I deserve better than this, I deserve more than this.

[Anonymous]

Give him a blowjob to remember and then walk away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. I would end it also. He isn't 100% with you. He may move on eventually...likely when his ex re-marries, but who knows. All you can do is figure he isn't ready now and hasn't been honest with you and move on

OP: According to him, they met when he was 19. She's the only other woman he's ever been with. So, from 19 to 34, she was his life. He said to me once, "It's hard to cut off someone who was part of your life for 20 years. Sometimes they're still important to you even if you aren't in love with them." I don't know what to do with that.

That statement is irrelevant at this point. He's been lying to you. If it's "hard" to cut someone off, he should have told you he was still talking to her all the time. His actions are telling you that it's easy to dupe you and hard to let her go. What do you do with that statement?

OP: He told me I was jealous and insecure when I told him their relationship bothered me. Sigh.

The longer this thread goes on, the more clear it is that you thrive on drama. You're signing on for it even though every single person has told you to move on, so have fun.

/yep. OP wants to "win" She thinks she will get him to choose her eventually. Notice the title of this thread " Ex never ever goes away" not " My boyfriend is inappropriate with his ex."

One of the best lines of this whole thread, which I read in one sitting.

OP: leave him or realize you'll always be in a relationship with two other people. Like Di and Chuck and Camilla. Look at how well that worked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. I would end it also. He isn't 100% with you. He may move on eventually...likely when his ex re-marries, but who knows. All you can do is figure he isn't ready now and hasn't been honest with you and move on

OP: According to him, they met when he was 19. She's the only other woman he's ever been with. So, from 19 to 34, she was his life. He said to me once, "It's hard to cut off someone who was part of your life for 20 years. Sometimes they're still important to you even if you aren't in love with them." I don't know what to do with that.

That statement is irrelevant at this point. He's been lying to you. If it's "hard" to cut someone off, he should have told you he was still talking to her all the time. His actions are telling you that it's easy to dupe you and hard to let her go. What do you do with that statement?

OP: He told me I was jealous and insecure when I told him their relationship bothered me. Sigh.

The longer this thread goes on, the more clear it is that you thrive on drama. You're signing on for it even though every single person has told you to move on, so have fun.

OP: No, no, no. I was just sharing what he told me the last time I brought up his relationship with her, months and months ago. I haven't spoken to him about this yet. Still thinking and deciding my move.

You said a couple comments ago that you wanted details about building trust from another PP to know what you might want to ask for from your BF. So it’s clear you are willing to keep this up. Op, you’re sad. You’re early 30s and think you won’t find someone else so you’re trying to devise some way to make this relationship work.

[Anonymous]

One thing is clear. As soon as you pack your stuff and leave, and you should by the way. He will be balls deep in her.

[Anonymous]

He lied to you

He demeaned you, called you insecure

That’s not a good person to be with, regardless of whether he stays in contact with his ex or not

[Anonymous]

Have you met her in person? How is the dynamic between them? If you didn’t meet her, then you should ask him to since she’s a big part of his life and you guys are talking marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He lied to you

He demeaned you, called you insecure

That’s not a good person to be with, regardless of whether he stays in contact with his ex or not

+1 THIS is all you need to know, OP. And you knew it months ago. This is not a partner.