ES Parents, please listen in to one or two zoom classes to make sure your kid isn’t “that kid”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't teachers mute peoples mics? That's how my work hosts things. You are muted unless you are called on to speak.

Yup. That’s what happened this morning when I listened in on my son’s zoom session. The teacher was explaining something and one of the kids just started talking while the teacher was talking and the teacher said. “That’s nice Larlo. I’m going to mute you now so we can finish.”

And then the kid unmutes himself. And goes back to talking.

Actually he didn’t. And teacher finished what he was saying and moved on to something else. The issues that happen on zoom aren’t much different from what happens in real life in a classroom. They understand how to deal with chatty kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When did this happen? Definitely not in the 1970s or 1980s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like the meme floating around “Now you know it was never the teacher.” Now you see what teachers deal with. Even recording the sessions doesn’t stop misbehavior.

Because we're talking about groups of children. Human children. So of course there are going to be some who don't behave. Who doesn't understand this....

Do you know how many times parents claims that children never misbehave at home or that it's the teacher's fault when their child misbehaves?

It's probably true. The parents probably have more control, more skills and know their kid better. There are good teachers and bad teachers out there -- there are also some teachers who bring out the best in students and some who just don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

LOL nice touch. You lost all credibility with that last line. It's akin to what a teacher does with students who aren't perfect.

I'm not just talking about my own kids. I've been in classrooms plenty of times and seen teachers whittle away at kids with strong personalities -- and even with strong intellects. I've seen them try to shut down kids who ask too many questions or are too interested or engaged. It's easier for the teacher to have a roomful of kids who are docile than to have even one who is genuinely excited about something they're learning. Good teachers don't try to blunt their students emotions and intellect to mange the classroom. Admit it, not all teachers enjoy children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure mine is 'that kid.' He's 'that kid' when I'm trying to work with him, too. His being 'that kid' is part of the reason he got his ADHD diagnosis and is on meds. But, I still need to do my job, so I still need the teacher to deal with it.

Note that the OP does not appear to be a teacher, just another parent.

It's bad enough that these kids have to endure negative feedback all day long from teachers, peers, etc. Now OP wants other parents to listen in on the classroom and gang up on them. OP: MYOB.

This. Sooooooooo sorry, op, that you have to witness a range of human behavior. Sooooooooo sorry you have to witness kids work through distance learning, which is pretty unnatural.

Thank goodness we have mean girls like op to police nine-year-olds. Let's join op and gang up on any nine-year-old who isn't perfectly behaved.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

Yep. It’s sad that parents these days expect teachers do DO THE PARENTS’ JOB. It is not the teacher’s job to raise your kid. It is YOUR job to raise your child. It is not the teacher’s job to teach your kid to be “the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom.” It’s YOUR job.

Yes, it is their job. Teachers are "loco parentis" in fact. It's their job to set up a classroom where kids behave, and to give them guidance when they go off the rails. We all know some teachers have classrooms that run well and some that don't. Same kids.

[Anonymous]

We just moved out of NOVA and my kid has online work to do but no Zoom classes. I mentioned that her former classroom is having live class online and she laughed and said, "That's not going to work at all, because [name of kid] and [name of kid] will be just as obnoxious online as they are in real life. That would be miserable!!" Ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but in the past, children experienced consequences for poor behavior. Not anymore. How does that prepare them for reality?

Agree. Before the teachers had more control because the parents always backed the teacher. Now they demean them. They label their kids instead of parenting them. Make excuses. Want the government, county, school, and teachers to do more because they chose not to parent.

When my kids are in school, I expect them to be in capable hands. I don't expect them to blame me for behavior that is going on in their classrooms, when I'm not there.

In my experience, teachers don't bother teaching difficult kids. They just punish them. If they bothered explaining to them what the issues are, or work on having a good relationship with them, or -- yes, even give them some responsibility in the classroom so they feel wanted or needed -- then the kids have a chance to grow into the kind of kid teachers want in the classroom. It takes a special kind of talent to do things like that. I already posted, but we've come across a couple of teachers who have this ability and they're worth their weight in gold. They are the kind of teachers these kids remember and love for the rest of their lives.

They have 30 kids a day. If your kid is an a-hole in class every day, it is your fault, not theirs. Whether the teacher can work with the child or not. Whether they decrease time other kids have learning or not. Whether they get set to the principal or not. Your job as a parent is to get them prepared for school, manners, behavior, expectations, respect. Then and now with online learning. Stop making it out to be the teacher's fault. You are insane.

LOL nice touch. You lost all credibility with that last line. It's akin to what a teacher does with students who aren't perfect.

I'm not just talking about my own kids. I've been in classrooms plenty of times and seen teachers whittle away at kids with strong personalities -- and even with strong intellects. I've seen them try to shut down kids who ask too many questions or are too interested or engaged. It's easier for the teacher to have a roomful of kids who are docile than to have even one who is genuinely excited about something they're learning. Good teachers don't try to blunt their students emotions and intellect to mange the classroom. Admit it, not all teachers enjoy children.

I have a chatty kid now in MS. So far, he has never got into major trouble at school but occasionally we would get an email that he was too social or distracting others because of talking, excitement about the topic, etc. He recognizes his behavior and realizes he does this when he is bored. I did notice that some teachers never described him as chatty or disruptive. These were the same teachers that had strong classroom management and also found things for him (e.g., teacher helper, extra assignment, read quietly) to do if he finished his work early or was really excited about the topic lesson. I think it is my responsibility to teach him to be respectful, listen to the teacher, deal with boredom, etc. and I always backed the teacher if I received an email or we discussed this issue in person during a PT conference. However, I also think some teachers are better at engaging students and managing their classrooms. I think the solution is both parties must take responsibility for students.

[Anonymous]

Some teachers are bothered by the chattiness more than others. It depends on their teaching style, the topic they are covering, and the dynamics of the classroom. A lot of it depends on how good the other kids are at ignoring the behavior. Certain classes have a lot of communication between students, other classes need more silence.

[Anonymous]

Someone posted about a teacher shortage. There is no shortage. There are enough teachers out there to do the job but are choosing not to. Nobody cares much about the reasons they are choosing not to. My SIL quit teaching two years ago. She said she went to Human Capitol to sign some paperwork and asked if there would be an exit interview. They said that don’t do that. Okay, so who cares why she isn’t leaving? She is still certified and able to do the job but she couldn’t stand it anymore.

[Anonymous]

It’s no coincidence that the disruptive attention-seeking kids have the parents who can’t be bothered to spend 5 minutes supervising them.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of parents who dismiss teacher’s comments about behavior simply because they cannot “see” the behavior. Meaning, they ignore it, whereas a teacher in a classroom of 25 students cannot ignore the behavior as it is preventing learning from happening.

While harnessing children’s behavior with jobs and tasks work with some children, it is not helpful for all. For example, it is effective for early finishers that disrupt others who are still working, but it for the student running around the classroom or refusing to work. That student will learn disruption=reward, and while it is a band aid for that time period, the cycle will continue as it becomes a learned behavior. When that student goes to another class and the teacher does not continue the cycle, that does not make the teacher a poor teacher nor not liking children as a PP stated. There is nothing magical about reinforcing negative behaviors, but there is something magical about a teacher-parent collaboration that encourages and supports growth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents who dismiss teacher’s comments about behavior simply because they cannot “see” the behavior. Meaning, they ignore it, whereas a teacher in a classroom of 25 students cannot ignore the behavior as it is preventing learning from happening.

While harnessing children’s behavior with jobs and tasks work with some children, it is not helpful for all. For example, it is effective for early finishers that disrupt others who are still working, but it for the student running around the classroom or refusing to work. That student will learn disruption=reward, and while it is a band aid for that time period, the cycle will continue as it becomes a learned behavior. When that student goes to another class and the teacher does not continue the cycle, that does not make the teacher a poor teacher nor not liking children as a PP stated. There is nothing magical about reinforcing negative behaviors, but there is something magical about a teacher-parent collaboration that encourages and supports growth.

That is not what happens. Actually what happens is a bond develops between the problem child, the teacher and the class, and that solves a lot of the behavioral problems right there. But some people prefer the satisfaction they get from punishing -- winning -- rather than changing the problem student for the better.

I've even seen teachers ignoring the PITA child -- always a boy -- who raises his hand over and over and over and never gets called on because he's the PITA kid. That's wrong. Again, I'm not talking about my own kids but what I've seen sitting in on classes.

[Anonymous]

PP, are you a teacher or admin? Why are you sitting in on classes?

[Anonymous]

PP, are you a teacher or admin? Why are you sitting in on classes?