Familiarity with a disruptive kid in the classroom (FCPS) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

OMG. Lady, you need to really reevaluate your values.

[Anonymous]

You and other parents, separately and together, need to make enough noise to principal/district - a short term solution would be an aid in classroom for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family friends in FCPS who have a disruptive child, severe ADHD, have spent many hours and funds on therapy yet he still hits other students and recently the teacher. He's always had issues since he was a toddler and was kicked out of preschools. I feel so bad for the family (other kids are fine)! I think he needed early intervention services but his needs were not identified as he was home with a nanny until 4 and perhaps parents were in denial thinking he would grow out of it.

He had an IEP, lots of FCPS counseling services, many warnings and suspensions, but he is now headed for a special needs school for emotionally disturbed students. Parents are devasted.

But why are they devastated? It's probably going to be a much better environment for their kid. I've seen that kid in a public school. It's really hard for them. No kids want to eat lunch with them, play with them, or be their partner. And that certainly doesn't help with their behavior. I know no one wants the label of "emotionally disturbed" but FCPS was clearly not a good environment either

You know what I don't hear here: he is seeing a psychiatrist and getting medicated.

No offense to all of the people out there who think that you can just "train" a kid out of bad behaviour: this kid may actually need medication. As in if this kid has severe ADHD, he should be on ADHD meds. If he is still violent, they should consider giving them Abilify or Risperdal (antipsychotics). (Note: this is an anonymous forum, please contact medical professionals and take this with a grain of salt.) If this kid is clinically defined as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and even with CBT: meds aren't evil if they can keep your kid from being kicked out of school.

We also have a neighbor with a kid like this and his meds changed him from being violent to being normal-- like legit normal kid overnight. Brain chemistry is funny this way. Do I think it's a panacea for ailments like this? Nope. But for parents who don't know what their kid could be like, when they do put their kids on these meds, the amount of relief on their faces is almost immediate. They just smile more.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

Are you actually comparing the behavior of a dysregulated child to that of an adult child molester/predator. Get help. Stop projecting.

I was repeatedly sexually assaulted by a fellow student, not an adult. I went to school every day regardless. I told no adult because I was terrified. Your insistence that a child who doesn't talk about trauma at school isn't traumatized is horrific. You are truly an awful person.

Again get help. I am not an awful person and I think people need to be stop throwing around the trauma drama. It is trivializes true trauma victims. There are adults in the room tasked with protecting these kids. Nothing is happening behind closed doors in secret. You might not like how it is being addressed but it is being addressed.

You are indeed awful, and terribly cavalier about victims.

+1 and she is part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

Are you actually comparing the behavior of a dysregulated child to that of an adult child molester/predator. Get help. Stop projecting.

New poster here. There's no debate about the fact that being sexually assaulted is truly horrifying and would cause trauma. But unless it was stated in a subsequent post somewhere in this long thread, the OP never said her child was traumatized, bothered, upset, worried, or anything. The parent dug for more info, as the parent should do. And is concerned her child could be injured and is having her day disrupted. How are we to know the child has been traumatized and is afraid to go to school, or any of the other things that either you or another poster has suggested the parent tell the school? My DS has been in a classroom that has been emptied on numerous occasions. He didn't care -- it meant more time getting to go to the library. Not all kids will react the same way, but there's not a guarantee that seeing a kid flip a desk or throw or book or whatever, even on a weekly basis, is going to cause the emotions that someone was suggesting the parent bring up when talking with the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1-3 times a week is really not that frequent-how long are they sitting in the hall?

If the child has been at the school for several years, then everyone has just accepted the situation.

If the child is new to the school, they may be working on a behavioral plan or a move to a different school--those things take a really long time.

*I have four kids and not one of them has experienced desk throwing EVER. 1-3 times a week is not just frequent, it is a huge problem.

*there is absolutely no school in FCPS that appropriately serves the needs of 2E students. MoCo has a special program for gifted/LD students, which people criticize for not really being for gifted students. FCPS has nothing like that.

*one of my kids is in a private school and, while they may not "put up with that crap" like a PP richly said, there are plentiful low-level misbehaviors. It is clear to me that a huge number of people choose private for their ADHD/wiggly/challenging child to get the extra support and smaller classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family friends in FCPS who have a disruptive child, severe ADHD, have spent many hours and funds on therapy yet he still hits other students and recently the teacher. He's always had issues since he was a toddler and was kicked out of preschools. I feel so bad for the family (other kids are fine)! I think he needed early intervention services but his needs were not identified as he was home with a nanny until 4 and perhaps parents were in denial thinking he would grow out of it.

He had an IEP, lots of FCPS counseling services, many warnings and suspensions, but he is now headed for a special needs school for emotionally disturbed students. Parents are devasted.

But why are they devastated? It's probably going to be a much better environment for their kid. I've seen that kid in a public school. It's really hard for them. No kids want to eat lunch with them, play with them, or be their partner. And that certainly doesn't help with their behavior. I know no one wants the label of "emotionally disturbed" but FCPS was clearly not a good environment either

You know what I don't hear here: he is seeing a psychiatrist and getting medicated.

No offense to all of the people out there who think that you can just "train" a kid out of bad behaviour: this kid may actually need medication. As in if this kid has severe ADHD, he should be on ADHD meds. If he is still violent, they should consider giving them Abilify or Risperdal (antipsychotics). (Note: this is an anonymous forum, please contact medical professionals and take this with a grain of salt.) If this kid is clinically defined as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and even with CBT: meds aren't evil if they can keep your kid from being kicked out of school.

We also have a neighbor with a kid like this and his meds changed him from being violent to being normal-- like legit normal kid overnight. Brain chemistry is funny this way. Do I think it's a panacea for ailments like this? Nope. But for parents who don't know what their kid could be like, when they do put their kids on these meds, the amount of relief on their faces is almost immediate. They just smile more.

Good luck.

(PP) YES he is seeing a psychiatrist who is trying diff meds, so far unsuccessfully plus private therapy. Also, he sees school counselor and social worker. 4 mental health professional and few improvements. And other services from his IEP. One parent had to change to a part time job to be available to attend so many sessions and school meetings each week.

[Anonymous]

These poor children. I’m so sorry for all of the little souls going through this. Good reminder to always strive for kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somewhat off topic but the saintly K-2 inclusion teacher left our school today in an ambulance. She has also previously had a broken wrist and countless bruises.

How is this okay??

Many of my fellow teachers in my school martyr themselves like this. I wish they would grow a pair and call the police. This is assault and battery.

Parents, you MUST complain to the principal every single time, document dates/times and injuries, and call the police. When the school is inconvenienced and made accountable, changes happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These poor children. I’m so sorry for all of the little souls going through this. Good reminder to always strive for kindness.

I’m sorry for the normal kids who deserve an education and safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to my [teacher] world. It’s all over LCPS also.

FCPS teacher here. It's all over everywhere.

"Twice exceptional" often means that parents are not willing to admit that their child has limitations. Thus, they would rather 24 other kids sit in the hall just so that their kid stay in the AAP program.

They also have hopes that William & Mary and law school will be in the kid's future.

Reality says no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These poor children. I’m so sorry for all of the little souls going through this. Good reminder to always strive for kindness.

I’m sorry for the normal kids who deserve an education and safety.

So kids with disabilities are not "normal" and don't deserve to be safe or to receive an education? All kids deserve this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family friends in FCPS who have a disruptive child, severe ADHD, have spent many hours and funds on therapy yet he still hits other students and recently the teacher. He's always had issues since he was a toddler and was kicked out of preschools. I feel so bad for the family (other kids are fine)! I think he needed early intervention services but his needs were not identified as he was home with a nanny until 4 and perhaps parents were in denial thinking he would grow out of it.

He had an IEP, lots of FCPS counseling services, many warnings and suspensions, but he is now headed for a special needs school for emotionally disturbed students. Parents are devasted.

But why are they devastated? It's probably going to be a much better environment for their kid. I've seen that kid in a public school. It's really hard for them. No kids want to eat lunch with them, play with them, or be their partner. And that certainly doesn't help with their behavior. I know no one wants the label of "emotionally disturbed" but FCPS was clearly not a good environment either

I'm not the friend of this family, but, is it hard to imagine why this would be devastating? The kid is being sent to an inferior school, where he will receiving little to nothing in the way of an actual education, will have to travel a long distance from home every day, won't make any friends, and will lose ties to the local community. If / when he's able to return to a regular school he won't know anyone, will be far behind other kids in his grade and will have to work so much harder just to catch up. And in FCPS they know that when their kid misbehaves in one of these schools he will be locked in a closet as punishment. Depending on how long he's stuck in one of these schools, throw away any hope of the kid going to college -- the high schools don't offer the necessary classes (like foreign language) that you need to get into any decent schools. The parents are coming to grips with the fact that the school has given up on their kid. And even if they had the resources to go private, nobody wants to take a kid with behavioral issues. The family knows that things are not working in the current school, and does not want their kid to be disruptive or god forbid hurt anyone -- but that doesn't make it any easier to know that without a proper education the kid has no hope of having a decent future.

DP here. Religious schools are always an option.

Home schooling is always an option too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These poor children. I’m so sorry for all of the little souls going through this. Good reminder to always strive for kindness.

I’m sorry for the normal kids who deserve an education and safety.

So kids with disabilities are not "normal" and don't deserve to be safe or to receive an education? All kids deserve this.

No, some disabilities are not normal. Throwing desks is not normal. Clearing the classroom so that all of the other students are safe is not normal.

Until your kid can act normal, he/she should not be in a normal class with kids who are in control of their faculties and act normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These poor children. I’m so sorry for all of the little souls going through this. Good reminder to always strive for kindness.

I’m sorry for the normal kids who deserve an education and safety.

So kids with disabilities are not "normal" and don't deserve to be safe or to receive an education? All kids deserve this.

No, some disabilities are not normal. Throwing desks is not normal. Clearing the classroom so that all of the other students are safe is not normal.

Until your kid can act normal, he/she should not be in a normal class with kids who are in control of their faculties and act normal.

Thank goodness you are not one of the decision makers at FCPS.