Familiarity with a disruptive kid in the classroom (FCPS) - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family friends in FCPS who have a disruptive child, severe ADHD, have spent many hours and funds on therapy yet he still hits other students and recently the teacher. He's always had issues since he was a toddler and was kicked out of preschools. I feel so bad for the family (other kids are fine)! I think he needed early intervention services but his needs were not identified as he was home with a nanny until 4 and perhaps parents were in denial thinking he would grow out of it.

He had an IEP, lots of FCPS counseling services, many warnings and suspensions, but he is now headed for a special needs school for emotionally disturbed students. Parents are devasted.

But why are they devastated? It's probably going to be a much better environment for their kid. I've seen that kid in a public school. It's really hard for them. No kids want to eat lunch with them, play with them, or be their partner. And that certainly doesn't help with their behavior. I know no one wants the label of "emotionally disturbed" but FCPS was clearly not a good environment either

I'm not the friend of this family, but, is it hard to imagine why this would be devastating? The kid is being sent to an inferior school, where he will receiving little to nothing in the way of an actual education, will have to travel a long distance from home every day, won't make any friends, and will lose ties to the local community. If / when he's able to return to a regular school he won't know anyone, will be far behind other kids in his grade and will have to work so much harder just to catch up. And in FCPS they know that when their kid misbehaves in one of these schools he will be locked in a closet as punishment. Depending on how long he's stuck in one of these schools, throw away any hope of the kid going to college -- the high schools don't offer the necessary classes (like foreign language) that you need to get into any decent schools. The parents are coming to grips with the fact that the school has given up on their kid. And even if they had the resources to go private, nobody wants to take a kid with behavioral issues. The family knows that things are not working in the current school, and does not want their kid to be disruptive or god forbid hurt anyone -- but that doesn't make it any easier to know that without a proper education the kid has no hope of having a decent future.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to my [teacher] world. It’s all over LCPS also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is completely untrue. There are excellent teachers and kids who are thriving in some CSS programs. There is no reason for it to take months to get a new placement for a child who is acting out this badly. If my kid were in that class I would be calling every member of the school board and the superintendent. The secondary trauma to the classmates and teachers is real, and the out of control child is not learning to cope or be successful. Nobody wants to be out of control all the time.

There's a huge difference in quality between a CSS class in a regular school and the stand along special ed centers.

The school district needs to provide the necessary training, support, and resources so that the needs of ALL the students are met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

+1

+2 If necessary add that your child is beginning to refuse to come to school. School refusal always gets a big response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family friends in FCPS who have a disruptive child, severe ADHD, have spent many hours and funds on therapy yet he still hits other students and recently the teacher. He's always had issues since he was a toddler and was kicked out of preschools. I feel so bad for the family (other kids are fine)! I think he needed early intervention services but his needs were not identified as he was home with a nanny until 4 and perhaps parents were in denial thinking he would grow out of it.

He had an IEP, lots of FCPS counseling services, many warnings and suspensions, but he is now headed for a special needs school for emotionally disturbed students. Parents are devasted.

But why are they devastated? It's probably going to be a much better environment for their kid. I've seen that kid in a public school. It's really hard for them. No kids want to eat lunch with them, play with them, or be their partner. And that certainly doesn't help with their behavior. I know no one wants the label of "emotionally disturbed" but FCPS was clearly not a good environment either

I'm not the friend of this family, but, is it hard to imagine why this would be devastating? The kid is being sent to an inferior school, where he will receiving little to nothing in the way of an actual education, will have to travel a long distance from home every day, won't make any friends, and will lose ties to the local community. If / when he's able to return to a regular school he won't know anyone, will be far behind other kids in his grade and will have to work so much harder just to catch up. And in FCPS they know that when their kid misbehaves in one of these schools he will be locked in a closet as punishment. Depending on how long he's stuck in one of these schools, throw away any hope of the kid going to college -- the high schools don't offer the necessary classes (like foreign language) that you need to get into any decent schools. The parents are coming to grips with the fact that the school has given up on their kid. And even if they had the resources to go private, nobody wants to take a kid with behavioral issues. The family knows that things are not working in the current school, and does not want their kid to be disruptive or god forbid hurt anyone -- but that doesn't make it any easier to know that without a proper education the kid has no hope of having a decent future.

DP here. Religious schools are always an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is completely untrue. There are excellent teachers and kids who are thriving in some CSS programs. There is no reason for it to take months to get a new placement for a child who is acting out this badly. If my kid were in that class I would be calling every member of the school board and the superintendent. The secondary trauma to the classmates and teachers is real, and the out of control child is not learning to cope or be successful. Nobody wants to be out of control all the time.

There's a huge difference in quality between a CSS class in a regular school and the stand along special ed centers.

The school district needs to provide the necessary training, support, and resources so that the needs of ALL the students are met.

Agree. Go tour Burke, Phillips, Frost, & Alternate Paths and then report back on the quality facilities, resources, academics and enrichment available for those students as compared to students at a CSS site embedded in a regular school or just a regular school. The poor education offered in one of the richest counties in the world is appalling.

[Anonymous]

I will add that my child was at a CSS site and he received an extremely poor academic education in his K-3 combined classroom compared to what his younger siblings had in general ed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

Are you actually comparing the behavior of a dysregulated child to that of an adult child molester/predator. Get help. Stop projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

Are you actually comparing the behavior of a dysregulated child to that of an adult child molester/predator. Get help. Stop projecting.

NP. That poster isn’t compacting the disruptive child to a child molester. They are saying that kids often don’t tell their parents what’s going on in their world or how they are feeling. Sometimes kids don’t realize the impact of a traumatic event(s)—which could certainly include having a classmate routinely throw chairs or assault other students—until much later. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

Are you actually comparing the behavior of a dysregulated child to that of an adult child molester/predator. Get help. Stop projecting.

I was repeatedly sexually assaulted by a fellow student, not an adult. I went to school every day regardless. I told no adult because I was terrified. Your insistence that a child who doesn't talk about trauma at school isn't traumatized is horrific. You are truly an awful person.

[Anonymous]

Kinda want to send my son here. I think this kid needs to meet the right kid same size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

Are you actually comparing the behavior of a dysregulated child to that of an adult child molester/predator. Get help. Stop projecting.

I was repeatedly sexually assaulted by a fellow student, not an adult. I went to school every day regardless. I told no adult because I was terrified. Your insistence that a child who doesn't talk about trauma at school isn't traumatized is horrific. You are truly an awful person.

Again get help. I am not an awful person and I think people need to be stop throwing around the trauma drama. It is trivializes true trauma victims. There are adults in the room tasked with protecting these kids. Nothing is happening behind closed doors in secret. You might not like how it is being addressed but it is being addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all of the speculation about the other child doesn't solve your problem. Here is how to solve your problem.

You immediately schedule an appointment with the Principal. At the meeting you tell the Principal that 1) your child feels unsafe and in danger on a daily basis, 2) your child is not able to learn because she is feeling unsafe and constantly on edge because she is concerned about being hurt or that another outburst will occur, and 3) your child needs a placement that provides her with the same gifted services but removed from the danger. It will help your case immeasurably if you document several instances that were particularly egregious and describe the negative impact on your child.

You should encourage other parents to go in and argue the same points. If enough voices are raised then the other child will be moved to a placement better suited to his needs. Until then the school system is content to let the situation occur. If there is not a major change in a week then you escalate.

In other words, right now the other child's parents are being the squeaky wheel. You need to out-squeak them.

In other words, you are advising OP to lie. The original post said "It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues...Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it." Hard to believe it is having such an adverse impact on OP's child when nothing had been mentioned until now.

There is no liar here except you. You've conveniently left out the 2nd sentence. Here is OP's full 1st paragraph. I've highlighted the relevant sentences since you seem to have reading comprehension issues.

It has come to our attention that my child's classroom has a gifted child with social issues. He will attack other kids, throw desks and disrupt the classroom. Apparently this has been doing on since the beginning of the year but we just learned of it. We have asked our kid to tell us when these incidents happen and what they are. It happens as infrequently as once a week and as frequently as three times a week. When an incident happens they clear everyone else from the classroom and they sit in the hallway until the kid can be calmed down. No one can touch the kid and a counselor and principal are brought in.

Tell the truth, PP. Always. Shame on you for not telling the truth.

How does adding back in any of that change the fact that the parent just found out about this. Her kid can't be that traumatized if she never mentioned it before now! Therefore how can it be said the kid feels unsafe on a daily basis and is unable to learn?

Sure, go ahead and complain, and document. But do it honestly.

DP. Oh, come on. You are being truly awful here. I was sexually assaulted as a child, but was too scared to tell anyone for a very long time. Are you going to tell me too that I didn't feel unsafe and wasn't traumatized because I didn't tell anyone? Is that really your take on kids?

Are you actually comparing the behavior of a dysregulated child to that of an adult child molester/predator. Get help. Stop projecting.

I was repeatedly sexually assaulted by a fellow student, not an adult. I went to school every day regardless. I told no adult because I was terrified. Your insistence that a child who doesn't talk about trauma at school isn't traumatized is horrific. You are truly an awful person.

Again get help. I am not an awful person and I think people need to be stop throwing around the trauma drama. It is trivializes true trauma victims. There are adults in the room tasked with protecting these kids. Nothing is happening behind closed doors in secret. You might not like how it is being addressed but it is being addressed.

You are indeed awful, and terribly cavalier about victims.

[Anonymous]

And FYI I went through FCPS many years ago and had a fellow student grab my private parts whenever he passed me in the hallway. I told no one. He wasn’t doing it in private, others saw it and said nothing either. Teachers knew it was happening and said nothing no. It was a different time. These behaviors aren’t being ignored. The school is acknowledging the problem and trying to fix it. The children are seeing a classmate who is out of control up close and personal. Maybe they are learning valuable life skills as a result. Life skills that might help them to avoid becoming victims of trauma down the road.