Teenage girls not wearing bras

[Anonymous]

The OP’s niece was wearing a white tank top without a bra and a dress that gaped open when she bent over, I’m assuming completely exposing her breasts. I don’t have a major issue with seeing outlines of areolas/nipples in a shirt, but when I can actually see the entire breast, even through a sheer shirt or by gaping necklines, it makes me uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

It's not your niece's job to make men (or anyone for that matter) comfortable. She should be able to dress in whatever way makes HER comfortable and feel good. Your FIL and the rest of your family need to get over your body shame. She's not a baby anymore. She's a woman, so yes she has breasts. Just like she has arms, legs, hands, etc. Just like everyone else. It's only a big deal because you're making it one and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating this misogyny and body shame.

It’s not body shame by any stretch of the imagination. It’s asking a teenage girl to basically not be topless. It’s common decency, not a crusade.

If it's not body shame, it would apply equally to boys and girls. Boys can go without shirts, and a girl goes without a bra under her a shirt, and suddenly she's violating common decency? Please.

I have no problem with pointing out a see through shirt or a shirt on backwards, and in that way I'd let someone know their skirt is short enough to perhaps show more than they were intending, or their dress gaps in a revealing way. But that's it. If the person likes their see through shirt, shirt on backwards, short skirt, or gapping dress, that is entirely their choice and their business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so I’m a misogynist/creep/lunatic for telling my DD that her breasts are showing when she bends down, and asking her to put on a bra??? You people are f-ing crazy!! Why does it have to be such an all or nothing issue?? As a parent I have the right to say, “your ti**s are showing, get back in the house and change your shirt” without being labeled an anti-feminist. I’m as liberal as they come but bristle at black and white, knee-jerk reactions at either end of the spectrum.

As a parent, you can set the dress code for your family. You're the parent. If you want everyone to be covered from top of the head to tip of the toe, that's your choice.

It is not your place to set the dress code for anyone else, or to shame anyone else for not following your dress code. You choose not to bare your ankles? Your choice. You try and shame others for baring their ankles? You're a judgemental jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the girls in one of ds's classes were discussing not wearing bras.

He wondered if the guys could discuss not wearing underwear without repercussion.

Anyway, yes OP it's a thing. Probably not the nest thing to discuss in class though.

Does your son actually want to go without underwear, or is a trumped-up grievance to attack women?

you have issues.

Specifically he was wondering if the guys could discuss ball sweat without getting into trouble. (Not likely at his school) The girls were mentioning boob sweat.... no problem.

The boys could discuss boob sweat. If the girls were discussing vulva sweat, then perhaps the boys could discuss ball sweat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then don't be mad that teen boys are walking around with erections looking at your jiggling daughters!

That is exactly how their body is supposed to work, after all.

Teen boys do get inconvenient erections. Puberty is brutal. And yet, somehow, we manage to not have thread after thread year after year about how boys bodies are wrong and bad and goodness why are they allowed out in public anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Among teenage girls now, there is a much greater sense than when I grew up that no one has a right to ask them to dress in any particular way. There is much greater awareness about the sexism inherent in dress codes and a rejection of social norms that force them to do things to control their sexuality or their looks to be attractive. IME, girls today are simply dressing to make themselves comfortable and to amuse themselves. As a feminist, I support it. WTF cares if a girl is wearing a bra? If some third party thinks it's "distracting" then that 3rd party needs to get over themselves and get a grip on their thoughts.

Actually the dress of teen girls today sexualized themselves. The actual purpose of not wearing a bra with a thin shirt is to sexualize herself and draw attention.

So all the boys going out without bras or an undershirt are sexualizing themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenage girls do not wear bras because it is all about their sexual power. They like the attention they get from men and they can claim that they are doing it innocently. Most teens would not do so and the ones who do it have also some sort of sexual abuse, neglect and grooming in their past.

Those harlots.

Using their sexual power against poor, defenseless men.

[Anonymous]

[flash]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It used to be expected that a woman would wear pantyhose, a hat and gloves. Bras are no different. I wear tight fitting spandex camisoles instead of bras often and I'm 48. And NOT small chested.
Deal with it.

That sounds even more uncomfortable than a bra.

It's not, brainiac. That's why I mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

You saw a boob. Tough titties.

[Anonymous]

I hope none of y’all are the same people criticizing the chests of Melania and Ivanka over in the fashion forum. They’re just mammaries, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

It's not your niece's job to make men (or anyone for that matter) comfortable. She should be able to dress in whatever way makes HER comfortable and feel good. Your FIL and the rest of your family need to get over your body shame. She's not a baby anymore. She's a woman, so yes she has breasts. Just like she has arms, legs, hands, etc. Just like everyone else. It's only a big deal because you're making it one and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating this misogyny and body shame.

It’s not body shame by any stretch of the imagination. It’s asking a teenage girl to basically not be topless. It’s common decency, not a crusade.

If it's not body shame, it would apply equally to boys and girls. Boys can go without shirts, and a girl goes without a bra under her a shirt, and suddenly she's violating common decency? Please.

I have no problem with pointing out a see through shirt or a shirt on backwards, and in that way I'd let someone know their skirt is short enough to perhaps show more than they were intending, or their dress gaps in a revealing way. But that's it. If the person likes their see through shirt, shirt on backwards, short skirt, or gapping dress, that is entirely their choice and their business.

This man supports your position wholeheartedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of y’all are the same people criticizing the chests of Melania and Ivanka over in the fashion forum. They’re just mammaries, right?

I think those people are strange too. I think worrying about nipples showing through clothing is moronic.

[Anonymous]

Do all the people who say the girls can go bra-less and everyone who complains is misogynistic/body shamers/leering at the young girls - do you mind when well-endowed guys decide to free-ball? Do you have the same laissez-faire attitude with free-ballers or do you silently wish they had on a pair of tight-whities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do all the people who say the girls can go bra-less and everyone who complains is misogynistic/body shamers/leering at the young girls - do you mind when well-endowed guys decide to free-ball? Do you have the same laissez-faire attitude with free-ballers or do you silently wish they had on a pair of tight-whities?

I'm not looking at their crotches, so could not care less if men "free-ball."

[Anonymous]

Who cares, bras suck. I didn’t wear a bra as a teen, it was way more comfortable.