Fiance - Cat Tension

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend what someone upthread recommended. Give your cats a multi-day timeout in a room in your house. They need time to adjust. I had almost the same situation with my cats. I put them in a room for 3 days with all their food, litter etc. It totally chilled them out and when I let them out, they were fine— they stopped the bad behavior.

Playing with toys really isn’t going to help. They need time to feel safe. They view your fiancé as an intruder in their territory. They need a few days to safely listen and smell through the door without the stress of being around him. It doesn’t matter that he’s been to your house a lot— they know the difference when he moves in.

Does it sound psycho? Yes. Will it work? There’s a good chance.

Finally, someone with common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cat people are so gross.

No pussy for you.

[Anonymous]

There are many men who just hate cats.

That is why there are many “Cat Ladies” abound.
When men become old & are alone, they rarely collect cats.

In my opinion, keep the felines ->> Let the fiance go.
Your fiance can NEVER provide you w/the type of unconditional love + loyalty that ALL humans deserve.

Whoever advised you to get rid of them should go away.

Cats can be a**es I admit.
But so can humans.
Cats despise change.
Just adding in a new set of furniture can stress them out.

Plus if they have always been okay w/your DF being around, but now one is aggressive while the other one is hiding.....

I am almost 100% positive that he is mistreating them in your absence.
I could understand if your DF just appeared out of nowhere but your cats knew him prior.
I would secretly NAnny.....Uh....Kitty cam your “Dear” fiance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many men who just hate cats.

That is why there are many “Cat Ladies” abound.

No, that’s not why.

I am almost 100% positive that he is mistreating them in your absence.

Based on telepathy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend what someone upthread recommended. Give your cats a multi-day timeout in a room in your house. They need time to adjust. I had almost the same situation with my cats. I put them in a room for 3 days with all their food, litter etc. It totally chilled them out and when I let them out, they were fine— they stopped the bad behavior.

Playing with toys really isn’t going to help. They need time to feel safe. They view your fiancé as an intruder in their territory. They need a few days to safely listen and smell through the door without the stress of being around him. It doesn’t matter that he’s been to your house a lot— they know the difference when he moves in.

Does it sound psycho? Yes. Will it work? There’s a good chance.

This sounds like animal abuse.

Lol what?? No. It’s not animal abuse. You spend time with the cats in their room and make sure they have food, water, etc. I’m not suggesting locking them away in a closet or something!

I’ve done this with my cats at stressful times and had success.

[Anonymous]

Op I’d do the camera thing better to know if he’s abusive NOW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I’d do the camera thing better to know if he’s abusive NOW.

If he hits cats does that automatically translate into him hitting her?

[Anonymous]

If anyone wants to know why crazy cat ladies are single, read all 8 pages of this thread. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend what someone upthread recommended. Give your cats a multi-day timeout in a room in your house. They need time to adjust. I had almost the same situation with my cats. I put them in a room for 3 days with all their food, litter etc. It totally chilled them out and when I let them out, they were fine— they stopped the bad behavior.

Playing with toys really isn’t going to help. They need time to feel safe. They view your fiancé as an intruder in their territory. They need a few days to safely listen and smell through the door without the stress of being around him. It doesn’t matter that he’s been to your house a lot— they know the difference when he moves in.

Does it sound psycho? Yes. Will it work? There’s a good chance.

This sounds like animal abuse.

Lol what?? No. It’s not animal abuse. You spend time with the cats in their room and make sure they have food, water, etc. I’m not suggesting locking them away in a closet or something!

I’ve done this with my cats at stressful times and had success.

This is recommended for cats when you move. It’s not animal abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend what someone upthread recommended. Give your cats a multi-day timeout in a room in your house. They need time to adjust. I had almost the same situation with my cats. I put them in a room for 3 days with all their food, litter etc. It totally chilled them out and when I let them out, they were fine— they stopped the bad behavior.

Playing with toys really isn’t going to help. They need time to feel safe. They view your fiancé as an intruder in their territory. They need a few days to safely listen and smell through the door without the stress of being around him. It doesn’t matter that he’s been to your house a lot— they know the difference when he moves in.

Does it sound psycho? Yes. Will it work? There’s a good chance.

This sounds like animal abuse.

Lol what?? No. It’s not animal abuse. You spend time with the cats in their room and make sure they have food, water, etc. I’m not suggesting locking them away in a closet or something!

I’ve done this with my cats at stressful times and had success.

This is recommended for cats when you move. It’s not animal abuse.

DP. Not abusive but it does cut the cats off from their own territory. It worked for that PP's cats; it may work or may not for OP's cats. Its definitely a technique I've only seen used if introduce my a new cat and then it's usually the new cat that stays in the small room for a while, not the established cat or cats. I would instead work on helping them associate the fiancé with only good things-- if there is a high-value treat they adore, only he gives it to them. If there's an activity they love like chasing a laser light, only he does that with them. Play gets the energy out (which can help reduce aggression) and distracts at the same time--don't dismiss play as a part of getting them used to him. If OP already never plays with them...that's a different problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anyone wants to know why crazy cat ladies are single, read all 8 pages of this thread. Lol

Never had a cat but people that don't like animals are the ones I wouldn't trust.

Why do you equate a man as a lottery win, LOL. Many happy single people out there with I assume..cats and dogs. I've been happily married but if my spouse bought the farm I would for sure get another dog. Don't think that would make me crazy. I travel, have friends and fur baby would go to the pet bed and breakfast!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they around other people?

The one time my love bug hated a guy I was dating...I should’ve paid attention. He was such bad news.

Was he hitting them?

No. He tried to win her over. But she would have nothing to do with him. I called her my slut kitty because she LOVED everyone. I cannot tell you the times she ended up in guests laps or sleeping with them if they stayed over. But him, she’d ignore him, walk out of the room he was in. Wouldn’t sleep with us when he stayed over.

Turns out the divorced Dad of two was a Married Dad of three. He told so many lies. About stuff he didn’t need to lie about. When I realize what kind of POS he was, my cat’s behavior made sense. She could just tell he was bad news.

Hmm sounds like my ExH. Were his initials KK?

No, but it’s a common theme in here for cheating married men to lie about how many kids they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op. You are destined to be a lonely cat lady.

Why does everyone assume if your are a woman and have cats than you must be lonely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anyone wants to know why crazy cat ladies are single, read all 8 pages of this thread. Lol

Lol. This is the most amusing thread ever.

[Anonymous]

This thread is like a cat lady Rorschach test.

Some people see an asshole cat
Some people see a cat who just needs its space
Some people see a cat-abusing fiancé
Some people see men who lie about being married

What do YOU see?