4 yo DD just called my xmas pancakes disgusting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 9-year-old just said "I hate you" to me. She was mad that another family member got a gift that she wanted. I also got her the same thing, but I didn't want to give it to her in front of the other family member, since I thought it would take away from the specialness for the other family member, since it was the only gift we got them and my daughter got a ton of stuff. When I tried to gently pull her toward me to whisper to her that she got one too, she pretended I hurt her (which I certainly did not), started crying, then said "I hate you."

Now I'm on DCUM venting and feeling like I've failed as a parent. Ugh.

Your 9 yr old is simply a brat and I would not only have sent her to her room but she would not get the gift--EVER!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 9-year-old just said "I hate you" to me. She was mad that another family member got a gift that she wanted. I also got her the same thing, but I didn't want to give it to her in front of the other family member, since I thought it would take away from the specialness for the other family member, since it was the only gift we got them and my daughter got a ton of stuff. When I tried to gently pull her toward me to whisper to her that she got one too, she pretended I hurt her (which I certainly did not), started crying, then said "I hate you."

Now I'm on DCUM venting and feeling like I've failed as a parent. Ugh.

Your 9 yr old is simply a brat and I would not only have sent her to her room but she would not get the gift--EVER!

Agreed. If I did that as a kid I would’ve been smacked and sent to my room no matter who was around! I realize times are different now but that behavior is not appropriate and she’s definitely old enough to know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 9-year-old just said "I hate you" to me. She was mad that another family member got a gift that she wanted. I also got her the same thing, but I didn't want to give it to her in front of the other family member, since I thought it would take away from the specialness for the other family member, since it was the only gift we got them and my daughter got a ton of stuff. When I tried to gently pull her toward me to whisper to her that she got one too, she pretended I hurt her (which I certainly did not), started crying, then said "I hate you."

Now I'm on DCUM venting and feeling like I've failed as a parent. Ugh.

Show her the gift that she wanted and then tell her she isn't going to get it now. Nine is NOT FOUR and your daughter is being a brat. You should start another thread - your situation has nothing to do with OP's situation unless you are also a narcissist and not telling us the whole story.

9 is not 4 I agree with you that pp's daughter seems to be a spoiled brat. But I've highlighted an area of interest to me it seems pp might be prone to be playing emotional games and her daughter is tired of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is probably shocked and rampaging anew that nobody in the house is hungry enough for second breakfast/elevensies despite her pressing need to eat again ASAP

hahaha

[Anonymous]

I realize I should probably just let this thread die, but I have time now and I'm just not going to.

Any way, I was not raised in a different country or with a "different religion", we just didn't celebrate Christmas like people celebrate it now or like DH's family celebrate it. We got one or two gifts, had pretty standard meals, and were just not very religious, different culture for sure. We do push church more and other aspects, bc if we're going to celebrate Christmas like this I want her to have a better understanding why instead of this feeling that Christmas is all about the gifts.

I admit, perhaps timing was off or I could have done it differently, but this is how I've always done it, always have a real breakfast on Christmas when I've hosted and my DD never had issues before. This is the first time there was an issue.

I also would not let my 4 yo behave this way on her birthday. And honestly I would take away presents for it. She is able to communicate her feelings and she knows how to use her words and she knows it is wrong to intentionallly hurt someone else's feelings. She may still be working on impulse issues but not having any consequences for her actions is not how we operate.

DD also loves me, asks for me to be the one to pick her up from school, wants to run errands with me, cuddle with me. I just don't tolerate meanness. She's also incredibly empathetic, when another child is upset and crying she's the first to go to them. She's a good kid, so even if I'm "mean" about making her pause to eat breakfast, we're doing something right. Regardless, if she didn't get food in her there would be crying and she'd be quick to upset about other things, so she needed to eat. I didn't scream, I didn't yell, I just did what I would do in any similar situation, give her a chance to redeem herself and if she refuses send her to her room. Those of you that would let this just go astound me. I came here to see if my reaction could have been a little lighter on Christmas , expecting to hear things like "more for me!", not that I was evil and narcissistic bc I made my daughter pause her Christmas to eat the pancakes she's been begging for all week.

And I do have a background in childhood development, not from an education perspective, from a medical perspective (I probably care for some of your kids- are you terrified now!!). Those of you calling me a narcissist don't know what the word actually means!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize I should probably just let this thread die, but I have time now and I'm just not going to.

Any way, I was not raised in a different country or with a "different religion", we just didn't celebrate Christmas like people celebrate it now or like DH's family celebrate it. We got one or two gifts, had pretty standard meals, and were just not very religious, different culture for sure. We do push church more and other aspects, bc if we're going to celebrate Christmas like this I want her to have a better understanding why instead of this feeling that Christmas is all about the gifts.

I admit, perhaps timing was off or I could have done it differently, but this is how I've always done it, always have a real breakfast on Christmas when I've hosted and my DD never had issues before. This is the first time there was an issue.

I also would not let my 4 yo behave this way on her birthday. And honestly I would take away presents for it. She is able to communicate her feelings and she knows how to use her words and she knows it is wrong to intentionallly hurt someone else's feelings. She may still be working on impulse issues but not having any consequences for her actions is not how we operate.

DD also loves me, asks for me to be the one to pick her up from school, wants to run errands with me, cuddle with me. I just don't tolerate meanness. She's also incredibly empathetic, when another child is upset and crying she's the first to go to them. She's a good kid, so even if I'm "mean" about making her pause to eat breakfast, we're doing something right. Regardless, if she didn't get food in her there would be crying and she'd be quick to upset about other things, so she needed to eat. I didn't scream, I didn't yell, I just did what I would do in any similar situation, give her a chance to redeem herself and if she refuses send her to her room. Those of you that would let this just go astound me. I came here to see if my reaction could have been a little lighter on Christmas , expecting to hear things like "more for me!", not that I was evil and narcissistic bc I made my daughter pause her Christmas to eat the pancakes she's been begging for all week.

And I do have a background in childhood development, not from an education perspective, from a medical perspective (I probably care for some of your kids- are you terrified now!!). Those of you calling me a narcissist don't know what the word actually means!!

Me thinks thou doth protest, and explain, too much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize I should probably just let this thread die, but I have time now and I'm just not going to.

Any way, I was not raised in a different country or with a "different religion", we just didn't celebrate Christmas like people celebrate it now or like DH's family celebrate it. We got one or two gifts, had pretty standard meals, and were just not very religious, different culture for sure. We do push church more and other aspects, bc if we're going to celebrate Christmas like this I want her to have a better understanding why instead of this feeling that Christmas is all about the gifts.

I admit, perhaps timing was off or I could have done it differently, but this is how I've always done it, always have a real breakfast on Christmas when I've hosted and my DD never had issues before. This is the first time there was an issue.

I also would not let my 4 yo behave this way on her birthday. And honestly I would take away presents for it. She is able to communicate her feelings and she knows how to use her words and she knows it is wrong to intentionallly hurt someone else's feelings. She may still be working on impulse issues but not having any consequences for her actions is not how we operate.

DD also loves me, asks for me to be the one to pick her up from school, wants to run errands with me, cuddle with me. I just don't tolerate meanness. She's also incredibly empathetic, when another child is upset and crying she's the first to go to them. She's a good kid, so even if I'm "mean" about making her pause to eat breakfast, we're doing something right. Regardless, if she didn't get food in her there would be crying and she'd be quick to upset about other things, so she needed to eat. I didn't scream, I didn't yell, I just did what I would do in any similar situation, give her a chance to redeem herself and if she refuses send her to her room. Those of you that would let this just go astound me. I came here to see if my reaction could have been a little lighter on Christmas , expecting to hear things like "more for me!", not that I was evil and narcissistic bc I made my daughter pause her Christmas to eat the pancakes she's been begging for all week.

And I do have a background in childhood development, not from an education perspective, from a medical perspective (I probably care for some of your kids- are you terrified now!!). Those of you calling me a narcissist don't know what the word actually means!!

You refuse to get it, OP. I honestly feel sorry for your daughter. Your need to be right will hurt you more as a parent than anything else. You should not have insisted she stop opening her gifts to eat and you should not have punished her so severely on Christmas morning. She is only four.

[Anonymous]

You're a lost cause, OP. It is truly pathetic that you feel the need to write, "my daughter loves me" but still will not admit that you were 100% wrong.

Your poor children...

[Anonymous]

Aww, OP. They just talk that way at this age. You'll get used to it LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're a lost cause, OP. It is truly pathetic that you feel the need to write, "my daughter loves me" but still will not admit that you were 100% wrong.

Your poor children...

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize I should probably just let this thread die, but I have time now and I'm just not going to.

Any way, I was not raised in a different country or with a "different religion", we just didn't celebrate Christmas like people celebrate it now or like DH's family celebrate it. We got one or two gifts, had pretty standard meals, and were just not very religious, different culture for sure. We do push church more and other aspects, bc if we're going to celebrate Christmas like this I want her to have a better understanding why instead of this feeling that Christmas is all about the gifts.

I admit, perhaps timing was off or I could have done it differently, but this is how I've always done it, always have a real breakfast on Christmas when I've hosted and my DD never had issues before. This is the first time there was an issue.

I also would not let my 4 yo behave this way on her birthday. And honestly I would take away presents for it. She is able to communicate her feelings and she knows how to use her words and she knows it is wrong to intentionallly hurt someone else's feelings. She may still be working on impulse issues but not having any consequences for her actions is not how we operate.

DD also loves me, asks for me to be the one to pick her up from school, wants to run errands with me, cuddle with me. I just don't tolerate meanness. She's also incredibly empathetic, when another child is upset and crying she's the first to go to them. She's a good kid, so even if I'm "mean" about making her pause to eat breakfast, we're doing something right. Regardless, if she didn't get food in her there would be crying and she'd be quick to upset about other things, so she needed to eat. I didn't scream, I didn't yell, I just did what I would do in any similar situation, give her a chance to redeem herself and if she refuses send her to her room. Those of you that would let this just go astound me. I came here to see if my reaction could have been a little lighter on Christmas , expecting to hear things like "more for me!", not that I was evil and narcissistic bc I made my daughter pause her Christmas to eat the pancakes she's been begging for all week.

And I do have a background in childhood development, not from an education perspective, from a medical perspective (I probably care for some of your kids- are you terrified now!!). Those of you calling me a narcissist don't know what the word actually means!!

even if you are right you need to think why you must be right at all times and convince others it is so.

[Anonymous]

We stop opening to eat breakfast in this house and your child was super rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you shouldn’t make a 4 year old wait while you make and eat pancakes! You should have grabbed a piece of cheese and continued with the presents.

Next year, have some pastries that can be eaten while she’s unwrapping stuff.

A four year old can have enough self control to take a break from the orgy of unwrapping, especially when warned ahead of time. These responses are disgusting. No wonder at this time of year there are so many posts bemoaning how materialistic and ungrateful their families are. It starts like this - with insisting that unwrapping a pile of presents is sacred and comes before all else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We stop opening to eat breakfast in this house and your child was super rude.

I don't believe you. Sock puppet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you shouldn’t make a 4 year old wait while you make and eat pancakes! You should have grabbed a piece of cheese and continued with the presents.

Next year, have some pastries that can be eaten while she’s unwrapping stuff.

A four year old can have enough self control to take a break from the orgy of unwrapping, especially when warned ahead of time. These responses are disgusting. No wonder at this time of year there are so many posts bemoaning how materialistic and ungrateful their families are. It starts like this - with insisting that unwrapping a pile of presents is sacred and comes before all else.

Let it go, OP. You were wrong. Stop embarrassing yourself. She is a four year old child excited about Christmas and wasn't hungry - you were hungry. You are shockingly selfish.