4 yo DD just called my xmas pancakes disgusting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

I really think you're projecting a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

I really think you're projecting a bit.

DP. Anyone who grew up with a narcissistic parent knows exactly what pp is talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

OH MY GOD OR IT’S JUST F***ING PANCAKES AND OP WAS HUNGRY AND HER BRAT DAUGHTER COULD WAIT 15 MORE MINUTES TO OPEN HER CHEAP PLASTIC CHINA CRAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

OH MY GOD OR IT’S JUST F***ING PANCAKES AND OP WAS HUNGRY AND HER BRAT DAUGHTER COULD WAIT 15 MORE MINUTES TO OPEN HER CHEAP PLASTIC CHINA CRAP

Now there's someone with control over their emotions...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

I really think you're projecting a bit.

So much projecting. Now, a parent who says, "Larla, Stop [insert activity child is enjoying] so you can eat," is a narcissist seeking attention, especially if they are a feeding the child a special treat that the child enjoys. The responses here are very confusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

OH MY GOD OR IT’S JUST F***ING PANCAKES AND OP WAS HUNGRY AND HER BRAT DAUGHTER COULD WAIT 15 MORE MINUTES TO OPEN HER CHEAP PLASTIC CHINA CRAP

Are you saying OP bought her child crappy gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

OH MY GOD OR IT’S JUST F***ING PANCAKES AND OP WAS HUNGRY AND HER BRAT DAUGHTER COULD WAIT 15 MORE MINUTES TO OPEN HER CHEAP PLASTIC CHINA CRAP

Tell me again then why OP couldn't eat while her daughter opened the presents. Why did everyone have to stop and eat the almighty important Santa pancakes because OP couldn't wait 5 more minutes?

I'll tell you why: because she made them and she needed the daughter to validate that effort by stopping CHRISTMAS to eat them and praise OP and thank OP for the Santa pancakes. She set the daughter up for this at FOUR and when the 4 yo didn't perform, OP made it into a power struggle. She made the kid feel like crap for not loving mommy's super special pancakes more than presents. Only when the kid apologized for it was OP mollified.

I get you don't get it if you're not versed in mental health and its weird manifestations. These weren't just pancakes to OP, which is also why she kept harping on how right she was and how mean this was of her 4 yo to do to her, and why her husband had to remind her on Christmas of all days forgiveness is warranted.

[Anonymous]

How did this thread go on for 15 pages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did this thread go on for 15 pages?

Lots of people finding validation of their own childhood experiences by having OP's similarly narcissistic parenting called out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I guess it's mean. But she didn't wake up till 8:45 and I'm just heavily pregnant and was starting to feel faint, so I had to eat and didn't want to miss out on her opening her presents. Plus she's been begging for these "special pancakes" all week.

Regardless, saying that was really mean !

haha so really it was all about you not missing watching HER open the gifts.. oh brother..

[Anonymous]

Side question. Is it bad that my 4 year old DS does not know the word "disgusting"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

OH MY GOD OR IT’S JUST F***ING PANCAKES AND OP WAS HUNGRY AND HER BRAT DAUGHTER COULD WAIT 15 MORE MINUTES TO OPEN HER CHEAP PLASTIC CHINA CRAP

Tell me again then why OP couldn't eat while her daughter opened the presents. Why did everyone have to stop and eat the almighty important Santa pancakes because OP couldn't wait 5 more minutes?

I'll tell you why: because she made them and she needed the daughter to validate that effort by stopping CHRISTMAS to eat them and praise OP and thank OP for the Santa pancakes. She set the daughter up for this at FOUR and when the 4 yo didn't perform, OP made it into a power struggle. She made the kid feel like crap for not loving mommy's super special pancakes more than presents. Only when the kid apologized for it was OP mollified.

I get you don't get it if you're not versed in mental health and its weird manifestations. These weren't just pancakes to OP, which is also why she kept harping on how right she was and how mean this was of her 4 yo to do to her, and why her husband had to remind her on Christmas of all days forgiveness is warranted.

You have mental problems.

[Anonymous]

OP we don't celebrate Christmas so it's hard to give advice BUT I think you did the right thing. Your daughter needs to learn to be respectful. There are too many parents raising brats in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not the talking up that matters. It's that OP took her DD's initial excitement about the Santa pancakes and made it into some proof that her daughter loves and respects her. It would be no different if she had instead done this with the presents (e.g. The 4 yo not responding enthusiastically to presents she had talked up).

It's not about pancakes or presents or being hungry or materialism. It's that OP set up huge personal expectations for what these pancakes meant that nobody else knew about and when they treated the pancakes as food (i.e. Largely unimportant and optional) and not whatever token of appreciation or respect OP had turned them into, she flipped out, punished the DD and then the poor little 4 yo had to make amends to OP.

It's mindfuckery and people like OP excel at it. They can do this shit all day with everything from a pair of socks to money for your wedding.

OH MY GOD OR IT’S JUST F***ING PANCAKES AND OP WAS HUNGRY AND HER BRAT DAUGHTER COULD WAIT 15 MORE MINUTES TO OPEN HER CHEAP PLASTIC CHINA CRAP

Tell me again then why OP couldn't eat while her daughter opened the presents. Why did everyone have to stop and eat the almighty important Santa pancakes because OP couldn't wait 5 more minutes?

I'll tell you why: because she made them and she needed the daughter to validate that effort by stopping CHRISTMAS to eat them and praise OP and thank OP for the Santa pancakes. She set the daughter up for this at FOUR and when the 4 yo didn't perform, OP made it into a power struggle. She made the kid feel like crap for not loving mommy's super special pancakes more than presents. Only when the kid apologized for it was OP mollified.

I get you don't get it if you're not versed in mental health and its weird manifestations. These weren't just pancakes to OP, which is also why she kept harping on how right she was and how mean this was of her 4 yo to do to her, and why her husband had to remind her on Christmas of all days forgiveness is warranted.

Wow. We're so lucky to be blessed with so many mental health professionals who can interpret entire life backstories and make diagnoses via an internet bulletin board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Side question. Is it bad that my 4 year old DS does not know the word "disgusting"?

My 4 year old doesn't know the word "disgusting" but does know the word "yucky" and the phrase "I hate it". Both of which he said about Grandma's dinner, both of which we corrected him for.