Spanking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I refuse to spank our DD. My father spanked me from before the time I even understood what was happening. I used to hide under the bed whenever he came home from work because I associated him with hitting me.

I think parents who spank their children are too lazy to really discipline their kids. It's a heck of a lot easier to just smack your child to get them to shut up or do something you want rather than to figure out what's causing a particular behavior.

There's certainly some of that going on, but it doesn't describe what we're talking about here. Nobody here is smacking their kids just to get them to "shut up" or "do something you want."

It's a deliberate punishment to deter egregious or particularly disobedient behavior.

No. They hit them if they don't go to bed, if they act up at dinner, if they won't put their toys away. They are not spanking them because they did something egregious.

where on earth did you get this? I am one of the posters that said I spanked for a period for dangerous, scary and tough to stop behaviors. Not putting away toys? Please.

Let's ask OP...

OP, What does your child do that is egregious enough for a spanking. Or is he just not listening and your H is frustrated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god. So barbaric, and so low class. Literally one of the trashiest parenting moves out there. Not to mention sickening

What is actually low class is having kids who need to be spanked, and are entitled and tedious, yet their parents are so desperately trying to be UMC and enlightened that they don't discipline them.

In the actual upper classes, spanking is incredibly common.

How do you know this? Genuine question.

Having gone to boarding school, and having friends that had similar upbringings. We all got spanked. Most of us spank occasionally.

People who abandon their kids also hit them.

Insightful.

Hyperbole is definitely your strong suit. But calling things "hitting" and "abandoning" doesn't make them so.

The point is, people from all different backgrounds spank. People from all different backgrounds have terribly behaved children that clearly need far more discipline than they are getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I refuse to spank our DD. My father spanked me from before the time I even understood what was happening. I used to hide under the bed whenever he came home from work because I associated him with hitting me.

I think parents who spank their children are too lazy to really discipline their kids. It's a heck of a lot easier to just smack your child to get them to shut up or do something you want rather than to figure out what's causing a particular behavior.

There's certainly some of that going on, but it doesn't describe what we're talking about here. Nobody here is smacking their kids just to get them to "shut up" or "do something you want."

It's a deliberate punishment to deter egregious or particularly disobedient behavior.

No. They hit them if they don't go to bed, if they act up at dinner, if they won't put their toys away. They are not spanking them because they did something egregious.

where on earth did you get this? I am one of the posters that said I spanked for a period for dangerous, scary and tough to stop behaviors. Not putting away toys? Please.

Let's ask OP...

OP, What does your child do that is egregious enough for a spanking. Or is he just not listening and your H is frustrated?

A couple times he would, totally unprovoked, push his little brother down because he thought watching him fall was hilarious. Another time he kept undoing his car seat straps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god. So barbaric, and so low class. Literally one of the trashiest parenting moves out there. Not to mention sickening

What is actually low class is having kids who need to be spanked, and are entitled and tedious, yet their parents are so desperately trying to be UMC and enlightened that they don't discipline them.

In the actual upper classes, spanking is incredibly common.

How do you know this? Genuine question.

Having gone to boarding school, and having friends that had similar upbringings. We all got spanked. Most of us spank occasionally.

People who abandon their kids also hit them.

Insightful.

Oh please. My spouse went to an elite boarding school, is still close to parents, and wasn't spanked, but his friends who were spanked are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you use violence on a defenseless child? It is horrible to even think about. I understand that many parents do it because they lack resources and don't know any better, but for an educated parent to do this is pretty inexcusable.

Life is violent. Kids are violent. Some kids don't respond to the modern forms of discipline. Some kids do actually need to be a bit fearful of authority.

My life is not violent. My kids are not violent. I'm not violent. We do not condone or practice any kind of violence in our home, including hitting as discipline.

Spanking is illegal in many countries. Legality doesn't make it right.

Sorry, but all of life is violent. Having so much when others have nothing - social violence. The struggle for resources is violent. The quest to succeed is violent. You can pretend not to be caught up in it, but we all are.

Do list all the countries where spanking is prosecuted.

Here's another link:

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/news/a42208/france-banned-spanking/

They were all listed and then you (?) moved the goalposts saying that some people in those countries still spank. Lots of people do illegal things. Thus?

yes, I said PROSECUTED. Reading comprehension is key. No goalposts moved, just a failure to actually get them.

Here's an article about a man prosecuted for spanking his son in France (actually before they made it per se illegal):

https://www.thelocal.fr/20131015/french-father-convicted-for-spanking-his-son

This article lists only one case that Sweden actually prosecuted, because they (being non-punitive) use the law to educate rather than punish. However, it was and can be prosecuted:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/swedens-rules-on-corporal-punishment-lead-the-way-1362630.html

In fact, I don't think, for the most part, it should be "prosecuted" in the way you intended. But the truth is that you moved the goalposts from the jump-- the PP said it was illegal in many countries and you responded to that by asking her to show where it was prosecuted-- two different arguments. You're saying, what? That if parents aren't jailed for spanking, it's okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god. So barbaric, and so low class. Literally one of the trashiest parenting moves out there. Not to mention sickening

What is actually low class is having kids who need to be spanked, and are entitled and tedious, yet their parents are so desperately trying to be UMC and enlightened that they don't discipline them.

In the actual upper classes, spanking is incredibly common.

How do you know this? Genuine question.

Having gone to boarding school, and having friends that had similar upbringings. We all got spanked. Most of us spank occasionally.

People who abandon their kids also hit them.

Insightful.

Oh please. My spouse went to an elite boarding school, is still close to parents, and wasn't spanked, but his friends who were spanked are fine.

np. On what occasion does it come up in conversation for your spouse's friends to discuss their childhood spankings?

[Anonymous]

So horrible. Please never hit a child for doing something wrong. This just teaches children to hit when they themselves are upset with other people's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god. So barbaric, and so low class. Literally one of the trashiest parenting moves out there. Not to mention sickening

What is actually low class is having kids who need to be spanked, and are entitled and tedious, yet their parents are so desperately trying to be UMC and enlightened that they don't discipline them.

In the actual upper classes, spanking is incredibly common.

How do you know this? Genuine question.

Having gone to boarding school, and having friends that had similar upbringings. We all got spanked. Most of us spank occasionally.

People who abandon their kids also hit them.

Insightful.

Oh please. My spouse went to an elite boarding school, is still close to parents, and wasn't spanked, but his friends who were spanked are fine.

You sound lovely. I am sure he is "fine" and so are his elite "friends".

[Anonymous]

op. I really don't care about other countries. I've seen what works for our family, in our country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So horrible. Please never hit a child for doing something wrong. This just teaches children to hit when they themselves are upset with other people's behavior.

That's the whole idea behind not doing it out of anger. You're not spanking because you're upset. You're spanking because their behavior warrants a strong punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you use violence on a defenseless child? It is horrible to even think about. I understand that many parents do it because they lack resources and don't know any better, but for an educated parent to do this is pretty inexcusable.

Life is violent. Kids are violent. Some kids don't respond to the modern forms of discipline. Some kids do actually need to be a bit fearful of authority.

My life is not violent. My kids are not violent. I'm not violent. We do not condone or practice any kind of violence in our home, including hitting as discipline.

Spanking is illegal in many countries. Legality doesn't make it right.

Sorry, but all of life is violent. Having so much when others have nothing - social violence. The struggle for resources is violent. The quest to succeed is violent. You can pretend not to be caught up in it, but we all are.

Do list all the countries where spanking is prosecuted.

Here's another link:

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/news/a42208/france-banned-spanking/

They were all listed and then you (?) moved the goalposts saying that some people in those countries still spank. Lots of people do illegal things. Thus?

yes, I said PROSECUTED. Reading comprehension is key. No goalposts moved, just a failure to actually get them.

Here's an article about a man prosecuted for spanking his son in France (actually before they made it per se illegal):

https://www.thelocal.fr/20131015/french-father-convicted-for-spanking-his-son

This article lists only one case that Sweden actually prosecuted, because they (being non-punitive) use the law to educate rather than punish. However, it was and can be prosecuted:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/swedens-rules-on-corporal-punishment-lead-the-way-1362630.html

In fact, I don't think, for the most part, it should be "prosecuted" in the way you intended. But the truth is that you moved the goalposts from the jump-- the PP said it was illegal in many countries and you responded to that by asking her to show where it was prosecuted-- two different arguments. You're saying, what? That if parents aren't jailed for spanking, it's okay?

Lady, you are an extreme literalist. Of course the type of spanking we are talking about is not and should not be prosecuted. Of course it should be and is illegal to abuse your child. It is not illegal and should not be prosecuted to smack your child's butt if they run out into the street.

If you can't understand the degrees or differences here, I simply cannot help you.

[Anonymous]

I find it especially funny when people say, "I was spanked and look at me I'm fine".

Most the time I want to say... you have anxieties, a really bad temper and have you seen yourself on the sidelines of your kids game?

Sure you are okay?!?

Just because you have $$$ does not mean you are okay. They don't even see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it especially funny when people say, "I was spanked and look at me I'm fine".

Most the time I want to say... you have anxieties, a really bad temper and have you seen yourself on the sidelines of your kids game?

Sure you are okay?!?

Just because you have $$$ does not mean you are okay. They don't even see it.

That doesn't apply to me. I don't have anxieties or a temper, and I'm perfectly composed at my kids' games. I do have money, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you use violence on a defenseless child? It is horrible to even think about. I understand that many parents do it because they lack resources and don't know any better, but for an educated parent to do this is pretty inexcusable.

Life is violent. Kids are violent. Some kids don't respond to the modern forms of discipline. Some kids do actually need to be a bit fearful of authority.

My life is not violent. My kids are not violent. I'm not violent. We do not condone or practice any kind of violence in our home, including hitting as discipline.

Spanking is illegal in many countries. Legality doesn't make it right.

Sorry, but all of life is violent. Having so much when others have nothing - social violence. The struggle for resources is violent. The quest to succeed is violent. You can pretend not to be caught up in it, but we all are.

Do list all the countries where spanking is prosecuted.

Here's another link:

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/news/a42208/france-banned-spanking/

They were all listed and then you (?) moved the goalposts saying that some people in those countries still spank. Lots of people do illegal things. Thus?

yes, I said PROSECUTED. Reading comprehension is key. No goalposts moved, just a failure to actually get them.

Here's an article about a man prosecuted for spanking his son in France (actually before they made it per se illegal):

https://www.thelocal.fr/20131015/french-father-convicted-for-spanking-his-son

This article lists only one case that Sweden actually prosecuted, because they (being non-punitive) use the law to educate rather than punish. However, it was and can be prosecuted:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/swedens-rules-on-corporal-punishment-lead-the-way-1362630.html

In fact, I don't think, for the most part, it should be "prosecuted" in the way you intended. But the truth is that you moved the goalposts from the jump-- the PP said it was illegal in many countries and you responded to that by asking her to show where it was prosecuted-- two different arguments. You're saying, what? That if parents aren't jailed for spanking, it's okay?

I was attempting to help you understand the difference between abuse that is illegal and spanking of the type we are talking about here, but I think the whole concept is simply way, way over your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god. So barbaric, and so low class. Literally one of the trashiest parenting moves out there. Not to mention sickening

What is actually low class is having kids who need to be spanked, and are entitled and tedious, yet their parents are so desperately trying to be UMC and enlightened that they don't discipline them.

In the actual upper classes, spanking is incredibly common.

How do you know this? Genuine question.

Having gone to boarding school, and having friends that had similar upbringings. We all got spanked. Most of us spank occasionally.

People who abandon their kids also hit them.

Insightful.

Oh please. My spouse went to an elite boarding school, is still close to parents, and wasn't spanked, but his friends who were spanked are fine.

np. On what occasion does it come up in conversation for your spouse's friends to discuss their childhood spankings?

Ha, good question. A couple classmates are from cultural backgrounds were spanking is pretty ubiquitous.

But really I take issue with the PP equating of boarding school with "abandoning" one's kids. But I guess that's an argument for a different thread.