19 YO son came home with a tattoo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lady, unless the tattoo is a swastika (or maybe a known gang symbol in a visible place), it will have roughly zero effect on his hireability. people with tattoos that I have interacted with in the last week include: prosecutors at DOJ, partner at a BigLaw firm, associates at a BigLaw firm, my kids' pediatrician, a couple of nurses, my landlord, my real estate agent, 3 different IT people, including the guy running the section, an old friend from college (who now runs a multimillion dollar business), a middle school teacher, my husband (a small business owner), a preschool teacher, and two friends from back home who are now a nurse and the other does something in publishing. And the only reason I noticed is because I'm paying attention to such things lately because I might get one myself (government lawyer).

now, I'm going to caveat that some of those are more unusual than others. I don't know many other BigLaw partners with a full sleeve, but this guy does. and that's probably the only preschool teacher I've run across with a tattoo. also, face and neck tattoos are more frowned upon generally. and tattoos with problematic content could be legit jobkillers if they are visible. So, no swastikas or naked boobs on his neck? he's fine.

Lol. Where do you live? Tattooine? Tatooville? Tatoo Town? I call troll. There is no way you know that many professionals with such a range of jobs with tattoos.

Matches my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

I'm sorry I come across as being unreasonable, but I am just angry and unsure what to do.

My reasoning behind pulling our funding for college is that this incredibly immature decision makes his degree worthless. Having a tattoo makes him unhirable outside crappy restaurant jobs. No professional setting would hire him, so why should we spend thousands of dollars on a worthless piece of paper? If he's happy being a tattooed thug working as a server then that's fine, but I'm not okay with throwing more of our money towards his now-worthless degree.

Plus, while we can afford to cover his education, personally I feel like the money would be better kept in a savings account for his two younger siblings who have not thrown their employment future in the gutter.

Again, ideally, I would love to see him grow up, get some loans, and should he get lme and DH would likely be willing to pay for those loans once they come due, assuming he comes to his senses and removed the tattoos.

Holy God, you are an idiot. A tattoo makes his college degree worthless? He's a tattooed thug? Your son will be better off if you cut him out of your life, because your existence is probably making him stupider.

[Anonymous]

Jewish teens don't get tattoos because they know we don't play around. Gentile kids get tattoos because kids know they can walk all over you without consequence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jewish teens don't get tattoos because they know we don't play around. Gentile kids get tattoos because kids know they can walk all over you without consequence.

Oh please. Just ... stop. You're making us look bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 19 YO DS has spent much of the summer in summer courses so he can graduate on time, but came home for two weeks on Sunday for the break between summer and fall classes.

He surprised us by telling us he got a tattoo a week ago. Which was completely unexpected - he never told us he was considering it or even really expressed interest in trying (outside a phase back when he was 16).

He knows me and DH don't like tattoos. They are the destruction of the human body that will, outside expensive laser removal, fixtures on the body. They also Mark a person, fairly or unfairly, as a part of the underclass, mostly associated with drugs, alcohol, and living a risky lifestyle I think most parents hope their kids never have to deal with.

I know that isn't my son - he is a smart, highly capable young man who has excelled in both school and work environments. But I just think he got wrapped up in the excitement (apparently him and several friends went and got tattoos together so I think it was just peer pressure).

At this point both me and DH are angry and hurt - DS knew our views on this well. Which is probably why he didn't tell us he was considering this action.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. My view is to stop supporting him (we pay for part of tuition + rent him an apartment off campus. I would offer to pay for room + board in official school housing, as I've always believed it was our duty as parents to provide food and housing for our kids if they can't do so themselves, but in my opinion if he sees himself as mature enough to desecrate his body, he is old enough to be responsible for his own education and spending money (which he already funds). If he can't afford school, or is unwilling to take out loans to cover his education, he knows there will always be a place at our table and a bed waiting for him at home. But I am not comfortable or in a position to pay for an apartment with "friends" who would suggest he get a tattoo.

DH thinks I'm being too harsh, but I just think DS knew what our response would be and should have considered that before getting the tattoo without even mentioning it to us.

This has got to be a troll post. What king of freaking moron would actually react like this IRL?

But, on the off chance that someone like this has actually made it to adulthood without choking on their own tongue trying to drink a Slurpee, here's some advice for you: Unless your son got swastikas or an MS-13 on his forehead, your need to STFU and get a life. And therapy. Lots and lots of therapy. Idiot.

IDK why, but for some reason this is my favorite DCUM response in a long time.
You made me lol and we're spot on to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Total control freak mom. He's 19. Take a breath and move on. It could be worse. He could be working for Trump

'

haha or voted for him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jewish teens don't get tattoos because they know we don't play around. Gentile kids get tattoos because kids know they can walk all over you without consequence.

Traditionally, Jewish teens didn't get tattoos because it was prohibited in the Torah. In fact it's one of the "us, not them" Levitical rules that set Jews apart from others: no tattoos, piercings, or eating pork because "they" do those things; circumcise your sons because "they" don't.

Jews get tattooed now too. In his essay "Jews and Tattoos" Andy Abrams states, "Many of the interview subjects in Tattoo Jew articulated a response to this issue directly through their tattoos. All of the people I have interviewed who have tattoos with Jew- ish themes get those tattoos for similar reasons; each of them wants to wear their Jewishness proudly on their skin. It is a way for them to mark themselves as Jews in an act of pride." This is certainly the case for my third tattoo: a tribute to my grandparents with pictures that represent them, and the Hebrew word for "remembrance." Many of the people I know with tattoos are Jewish--and many of the Jews I know are tattooed!

[Anonymous]

I would probably concentrate on my grammar before anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jewish teens don't get tattoos because they know we don't play around. Gentile kids get tattoos because kids know they can walk all over you without consequence.

Not true. -Jewish professional woman with a tattoo who knows the thing about being buried in a Jewish cemetery is bs.

[Anonymous]

he is a terrible son, how dare he. you are a judgmental and narrow minded.

[Anonymous]

He is NINETEEN. His body, his choice. Very sad for him how controlling you are. Glad you don't have my eldest DD. She is twenty-two, has five tattoos and thirteen piercings.

[Anonymous]

You really just want the money. Any excuse will do as long as you just get that money for yourself. You claim you want it for younger children but the minute they get a B or come home late you will justify spending that money on yourself. It's ok OP, it's your money. Your kids are better off without you pulling those purse strings. Just go ahead and be greedy.

[Anonymous]

NP. I actually sympathize with the OP.

To all the people saying "he's 19, he can do what he wants", you're so controlling...... he's 19, OP doesn't need to support him anymore. He sent a clear message that he's an adult now, and can/will do things that his parents disapprove of. So he can act like an adult and figure out how to pay his own way.

Anything different would be condoning an "entitled" attitude.