Your opinion: boy punching a girl, ok or nay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach my DS that unless he's in serious, imminent physical danger, he's not to hit girls.
In that situation the boy should have involved an adult.

I guess you don't want grandchildren since you are OK with girls kicking your DS's nuts in with retaliation.

First, I said he should involve an adult. I'm not okay with anyone hitting him, boy or girl. What I'm really not okay with however, is having him to grow into a 200 pound man who believes it's okay to punch a 110 pound woman in the face because she kicked him in the balls. That size difference is not a bloody nose--it's a broken jaw, concussion, teeth knocked out, or death. My son won't worry about having children or any kind of life from his jail cell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach my DS that unless he's in serious, imminent physical danger, he's not to hit girls.
In that situation the boy should have involved an adult.

I guess you don't want grandchildren since you are OK with girls kicking your DS's nuts in with retaliation.

First, I said he should involve an adult. I'm not okay with anyone hitting him, boy or girl. What I'm really not okay with however, is having him to grow into a 200 pound man who believes it's okay to punch a 110 pound woman in the face because she kicked him in the balls. That size difference is not a bloody nose--it's a broken jaw, concussion, teeth knocked out, or death. My son won't worry about having children or any kind of life from his jail cell.

Your perception that a woman can not physically harm a man is wrong. On average men are stronger than women but men are also vulnerable. Their skin and skull and throat are no stronger than a woman's. If a woman has a gun, knife, frying pan or other implement - she can do considerable damage. Men have also been seriously injured by women who intend to cause them harm. Your expectation of a man is that he be a punching bag for a woman...seems to indicate you don't think men are deserving of respect. That they should tolerate being hit and kicked and punched and scratched. It isn't always possible to just involve an adult when someone is scratching and kicking you. If there was an adult right there I assume they would have intervened. I hope you don't have sons because teaching them they don't deserve respect or that abuse of men by women is acceptable is really a terrible message. Men should be able to defend themselves from harm too. they should use the strength they need to get themselves out of danger. For 12 year olds they are likely pretty similar in strength. Most men learn they don't need to use full strength as an adult if they person attacking them is weaker.

[Anonymous]

The girl in op's post, if she doesn't learn the lesson now will be one to mouth off and slap a D1 football player only to get her bell rung completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach my DS that unless he's in serious, imminent physical danger, he's not to hit girls.
In that situation the boy should have involved an adult.

I guess you don't want grandchildren since you are OK with girls kicking your DS's nuts in with retaliation.

First, I said he should involve an adult. I'm not okay with anyone hitting him, boy or girl. What I'm really not okay with however, is having him to grow into a 200 pound man who believes it's okay to punch a 110 pound woman in the face because she kicked him in the balls. That size difference is not a bloody nose--it's a broken jaw, concussion, teeth knocked out, or death. My son won't worry about having children or any kind of life from his jail cell.

Your perception that a woman can not physically harm a man is wrong. On average men are stronger than women but men are also vulnerable. Their skin and skull and throat are no stronger than a woman's. If a woman has a gun, knife, frying pan or other implement - she can do considerable damage. Men have also been seriously injured by women who intend to cause them harm. Your expectation of a man is that he be a punching bag for a woman...seems to indicate you don't think men are deserving of respect. That they should tolerate being hit and kicked and punched and scratched. It isn't always possible to just involve an adult when someone is scratching and kicking you. If there was an adult right there I assume they would have intervened. I hope you don't have sons because teaching them they don't deserve respect or that abuse of men by women is acceptable is really a terrible message. Men should be able to defend themselves from harm too. they should use the strength they need to get themselves out of danger. For 12 year olds they are likely pretty similar in strength. Most men learn they don't need to use full strength as an adult if they person attacking them is weaker.

I think you're reading way too much into what I said. I think men should be strongly inhibited from hitting women unless there is imminent physical danger. I think those inhibitions should start young so that when there is a major size difference after puberty they are well established. I agree that a woman can hurt a man and it should not be tolerated--I think a man is far more likely to hurt a woman in a physical altercation. I think women should also be inhibited against physical aggression- but most of us are heavily socialized not to hit in anger. I find it interesting that you are bringing the word "respect" into the conversation, it makes me think you are male.
In this case, both kids should be in trouble- I think the girl may have been banking on the boy not retaliating, but he did and if they had been full size, he probably would have hurt her a lot worse if he didn't know his strength.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Just read all the answers. Here is some background. The boy is my oldest daughter's age. They've been in the same school since kindergarten, the boy is very nice and polite and very popular with a lot of friends, including my daughter. My daughter is friends with boy but not with the girl. She has mentioned that the girl answers "meanly" or "snappy" so she really doesn't have many friends at school. My daughter said that boy is very nice to girl all the time. I think the girl is very, very pretty, so boy may have a crush on her? Maybe that is why he was calling her by short version of name. My daughter teases her friends too, silly things. Her friends tease right back. It's like banter. But I was taught no one should hit anyone, much less a boy to a girl. But I was very surprised a girl reacted with such violence. The boy had 4 clear nail marks on his chest and a nasty scratch on his face.

A truly nice boy would have stopped calling the girl by the short name when she asked. He didn't . Instead he called her the name she didn't like again.
Not nice.

Also seems like this girl may have a social disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach my DS that unless he's in serious, imminent physical danger, he's not to hit girls.
In that situation the boy should have involved an adult.

I guess you don't want grandchildren since you are OK with girls kicking your DS's nuts in with retaliation.

First, I said he should involve an adult. I'm not okay with anyone hitting him, boy or girl. What I'm really not okay with however, is having him to grow into a 200 pound man who believes it's okay to punch a 110 pound woman in the face because she kicked him in the balls. That size difference is not a bloody nose--it's a broken jaw, concussion, teeth knocked out, or death. My son won't worry about having children or any kind of life from his jail cell.

Your perception that a woman can not physically harm a man is wrong. On average men are stronger than women but men are also vulnerable. Their skin and skull and throat are no stronger than a woman's. If a woman has a gun, knife, frying pan or other implement - she can do considerable damage. Men have also been seriously injured by women who intend to cause them harm. Your expectation of a man is that he be a punching bag for a woman...seems to indicate you don't think men are deserving of respect. That they should tolerate being hit and kicked and punched and scratched. It isn't always possible to just involve an adult when someone is scratching and kicking you. If there was an adult right there I assume they would have intervened. I hope you don't have sons because teaching them they don't deserve respect or that abuse of men by women is acceptable is really a terrible message. Men should be able to defend themselves from harm too. they should use the strength they need to get themselves out of danger. For 12 year olds they are likely pretty similar in strength. Most men learn they don't need to use full strength as an adult if they person attacking them is weaker.

I think you're reading way too much into what I said. I think men should be strongly inhibited from hitting women unless there is imminent physical danger. I think those inhibitions should start young so that when there is a major size difference after puberty they are well established. I agree that a woman can hurt a man and it should not be tolerated--I think a man is far more likely to hurt a woman in a physical altercation. I think women should also be inhibited against physical aggression- but most of us are heavily socialized not to hit in anger. I find it interesting that you are bringing the word "respect" into the conversation, it makes me think you are male.
In this case, both kids should be in trouble- I think the girl may have been banking on the boy not retaliating, but he did and if they had been full size, he probably would have hurt her a lot worse if he didn't know his strength.

Many women are not socialized to not hit in anger. Men are just as likely as women to experience being hit or pushed or to have things thrown at them. And I believe respect should go both ways. That boys and girls should be taught to treat others with respect and to be treated with respect themselves. And I am a woman - just one who believes in equality.

[Anonymous]

I taught my sons that it is NEVER ok to hit a woman. Good luck to the PP that keeps insisting it's his right to defend himself if a woman hits him. If she presses charges he's up a creek without a paddle. No judge or jury will side with the man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I taught my sons that it is NEVER ok to hit a woman. Good luck to the PP that keeps insisting it's his right to defend himself if a woman hits him. If she presses charges he's up a creek without a paddle. No judge or jury will side with the man.

I know- I teach my son the same thing. I absolutely think the girl was wrong here- but I think the boy should have stopped provoking her or found a way to walk away or involved an adult if it was an option. For the person who said that men are just as likely to be abused as women--maybe true, but women are *a lot* more likely to be killed. If a woman is unstable and becomes physical, it's really important that men recognize that and learn to walk away from volatile situations. It's not about right and wrong. The girl was wrong- she assaulted the boy--she hit first--I agree--still not the long term issue here.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/07/21/538518569/cdc-half-of-all-female-murder-victims-are-killed-by-intimate-partners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I taught my sons that it is NEVER ok to hit a woman. Good luck to the PP that keeps insisting it's his right to defend himself if a woman hits him. If she presses charges he's up a creek without a paddle. No judge or jury will side with the man.

Hien the responses here I think your conclusion that no jury would side with the man under the same circumstances is totally wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Princess is a little domestic abuser in the making. So sick of females making excuses for and getting away with this sh!t. Princess got what she deserved and hopefully ended up bleeding out of both nostrils.

I see our resident wife-beater has checked in.

[Anonymous]

The girl needed a reality check and got one. If she treated another girl like that, people would be all up in arms.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. Hit submit too soon.

While she needed to learn this lesson, he could have done it in a way that wasn't punching her in the face. Slapping her or shoving her would have been more appropriate. Young men are more prone to make violent decisions than young women. Their brains and hormones make it that way.

I'm sure they both leaned a lesson here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boy showed remarkable restraint in not hitting back earlier. He should have gotten adult help instead of punching (which I would say regardless of gender) but I don't really blame him.

100% this.

I hold nothing against a boy hitting back when a girl is hitting and assaulting him. Frankly, this was the central controversy surrounding Joe Mixon, the Oklahoma running back who punched a girl in the face and got suspended from football--she was hitting and slapping him repeatedly first, and he fought back with only one strike. It's an unpopular opinion (especially because adults are involved) but my personal opinion is that no matter your sex, if you start a physical fight, you better be ready to finish it.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys. Am I ok with them hitting a girl if they can't get out of a physical altercation? Yes, as a last resort. I tell them to shove them off first if they can't talk their way out or physically leave the situation. Both of these kids were wrong. The reality is that the girl escalated the situation when she shouldn't have and the boy, while not entirely innocent reacted to her escalation. Using violence as a mean to get your way is not what we should be teaching our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I taught my sons that it is NEVER ok to hit a woman. Good luck to the PP that keeps insisting it's his right to defend himself if a woman hits him. If she presses charges he's up a creek without a paddle. No judge or jury will side with the man.

This is so old school. A lawyer would have a field day with this if these were adults. The guy would win hands down.