Your opinion: boy punching a girl, ok or nay

[Anonymous]

PP here. I am wondering if the girl was depending on "a boy never hits a girl" rule, that is sometimes warranted (not in this case).

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation in 6th grade.

The girl had hit puberty and towered over me and was torturing me almost daily - her specific thing was digging her nails into my neck and side when the teacher wasn't looking and teasing me about it.

I'd been bullied a bit and had worked with my Dad to learn to take care of myself - we had a punching bag at home and gloves and spent time working on basic boxing moves and self defense.

I warned this girl for weeks that I was going to hit her if she didn't leave me alone but she teased me that I didn't have the courage.

Finally one day she was behind me and had her nails in my neck and would not let go so I spun and absolutely decked her on the jaw and staggered her.

She didn't stop crying the rest of the day but refused to tell the teacher why she was upset.

She never touched me or otherwise bothered me again.

I felt bad about it at the time and still feel bad about it but if you went to a teacher with your problems where I went to school it always made it worse so I'm not sure what my alternative was except to tolerate the abuse.

For what it is worth I ran into her at a speech meet my junior year of high school and she could not have been friendlier to me and chatted all day. And didn't appear to have grown another inch after 6th grade - she was maybe 5'3"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you moms saying the boy was right and the girl should have just walked away, and he was just teasing her because he likes her should know that you are supporting rape culture.

You are in favor of a girl being conditioned she should accept whatever a guy calls her because it's just words and words don't matter. Today it's a nick name she doesn't like, tomorrow it;s calling her bitch, slut, or refferring to various parts of her anatomy, but it doesn't matter because it's just words.
You are teaching the boy that females are just property to be toyed with and they just have to take it and if they get upset too bad.

These are the lessons that matter, not standing outside in a pussy hat or making sure your son knows about your period or your daughter takes enough STEM classes, and that neither of them see Cinderella.

No, because the advice would be the same if it was another boy who didn't like his nickname.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I am actually horrified by some of these responses. I hope both kids were suspended for at least several days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both children are guilty of assaulting each other.

"She started it" is not a good enough defense.

But self defense is.

So are we going to implement "stand your ground" at school now? He had no other option than to defend himself?

Self defense does not mean the same thing as retaliation.

[Anonymous]

This is a very frustrating situation these days but we've instructed DS to never hit back, ever. Girls who like a boy will often hit and hit pretty hard at times - particularly upper elementary and jr high, even freshman year of high school. We've found girl behavior to be pretty much unleashed compared to back when we were in school. They feel more empowered than ever and thus they are more aggressive on all levels. Some take full advantage because they know boys can't retaliate. I don't think either sex should be doing it. Not sure schools and their "anti-bullying" training sessions have a clue about what is really going on these days and how the balance of power has flipped. Just our experience the past 4-5 years in very diverse public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people didn't answer the question .

No, a boy should never hit a girl.

They were both wrong, but the thing is that what will stick with people is that your son hit a girl. It won't be long before he is bigger and stronger then girls, you really need to teach him not to hit them and for him to walk away.

+1 The boy should have called the cops and arrested girl for assault

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you moms saying the boy was right and the girl should have just walked away, and he was just teasing her because he likes her should know that you are supporting rape culture.

You are in favor of a girl being conditioned she should accept whatever a guy calls her because it's just words and words don't matter. Today it's a nick name she doesn't like, tomorrow it;s calling her bitch, slut, or refferring to various parts of her anatomy, but it doesn't matter because it's just words.
You are teaching the boy that females are just property to be toyed with and they just have to take it and if they get upset too bad.

These are the lessons that matter, not standing outside in a pussy hat or making sure your son knows about your period or your daughter takes enough STEM classes, and that neither of them see Cinderella.

+1 million. She told him to stop calling her that name, he should have stopped.

My grown friend, age 41, recently reminisced to me fondly about how our male friends used to call her bitch and slut, but "it was ok, they always had her back." (I, because they liked her). Eff that. I shoved one if these male friends to the ground once for calling me a bitch (we were about 21 years old), after telling him to stop. Where did they learn that was ok? From girls who put up with it, and moms who say boys will be boys.

[Anonymous]

Moms teach you daughters; if you ever hit a male in privates you rick damaging his ability to reproduce. You will get the shit beat out of you.

[Anonymous]

I will answer the question. No it isn't ok for a boy to punch a girl.

It also isn't acceptable for her to hit or scratch him.
It also isn't acceptable for him to tease her, even if it wasn't a "bad" word, she asked him to stop and he didn't.
If he was teasing her to show that he "likes" her, it isn't ok.
It isn't ok for girls to sit by and accept teasing because it might be a boy's way of "liking her". People who like you will stop when you ask them to stop teasing you, and when you ask them not to kiss you, and when you tell them you'd like to to have sex with them.
If they don't stop and you're in physical danger fight like hell including scratching, hitting, and ball kicking. That is self-defense.

Him hitting her may have been self defense, it may have been over the top, I don't know. What I do know is there is a lesson here for all parties. He needs to learn to respect a person when they ask to stop. She needs to learn to walk away and get help if she is so angry she's about to physically attack someone. Think about what you want to teach and what kind of adult human you want to raise. One who talks out their problems, walks away and cools off, or one who says, he wouldn't stop teasing me so I hurt him or she hit me first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Times change.

If I had ever hit a girl in this sort of situation, no matter who instigated it, my dad would have kicked my ass something awful. And the worst part would have been the unrelenting grief I would have gotten from my peers! A boy hitting a girl was something that just doesn't happen. You walk away, control the situation, move and avoid getting hit, laugh, whatever. But hit a girl? No chance.

Times do change. I was taught boys shouldn't hit girls, but I was also taught (as a girl) that I shouldn't act like an asshole and take advantage of that. What has changed is the whole "Girl Power" push that allows girls to feel empowered to act like assholes and prove that they are tough with no consequences.

I have seen this with my sons. They've each come home from school with bruises on their shins and scratch marks all over their arms. Girls (4th - 6th grade) mess with them to get their attention and think it's funny that the boys can't do anything about it. The teacher has told me it's how some girls flirt with boys they like. Of course my boys know better than to retaliate. The most they can do is tell them to stop it or to ignore them, which causes the girls to do it even more.

I was taught that people shouldn't hit people. And I'm 50 years old, so this isn't exactly a new idea.

Yes!! I was also taught that you don'the hit a guy there unless it'seems self defence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you moms saying the boy was right and the girl should have just walked away, and he was just teasing her because he likes her should know that you are supporting rape culture.

You are in favor of a girl being conditioned she should accept whatever a guy calls her because it's just words and words don't matter. Today it's a nick name she doesn't like, tomorrow it;s calling her bitch, slut, or refferring to various parts of her anatomy, but it doesn't matter because it's just words.
You are teaching the boy that females are just property to be toyed with and they just have to take it and if they get upset too bad.

These are the lessons that matter, not standing outside in a pussy hat or making sure your son knows about your period or your daughter takes enough STEM classes, and that neither of them see Cinderella.

+1 million. She told him to stop calling her that name, he should have stopped.

My grown friend, age 41, recently reminisced to me fondly about how our male friends used to call her bitch and slut, but "it was ok, they always had her back." (I, because they liked her). Eff that. I shoved one if these male friends to the ground once for calling me a bitch (we were about 21 years old), after telling him to stop. Where did they learn that was ok? From girls who put up with it, and moms who say boys will be boys.

Just stop she assaulted the boy. You some how seem to be okay with violence and the use of force if it's a girl using the violence and force. Live by the sword die by the sword....less you are a female.

[Anonymous]

My father taught me to defend myself but fight for others.

So in this situation the boy could have blocked the girl from scratching him, but should have walked away and not retaliated with the punch after being hit or scratched.

In the end, both kids are at fault. He was asked not to use the nickname, but did anyway and she needlessly escalated the matter.

[Anonymous]

The boy was being an ass. She should not have put her hands on him, absolutely. But he was goading her. He started it, she escalated it. Both at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people didn't answer the question .

No, a boy should never hit a girl.

They were both wrong, but the thing is that what will stick with people is that your son hit a girl. It won't be long before he is bigger and stronger then girls, you really need to teach him not to hit them and for him to walk away.

No, we answered it, boy can hit a girl. Generally speaking. Nobody should ever hit anybody, but if a girl kicks a boy, punches him, scratches him, fair is fair. There is absolutely no reason to keep the misogyny going, and here we have women being the worst sexist pigs of all. Go tend your knitting, I give as good as I get. Signed, proud capable, equal in every aspect of life, WOMAN.