Mothers, do you teach your daughters to marry providers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A better question is "what are you teaching your daughters to attract and keep a husband who is a big earner and good provider?"

Men earning over $200K in the DC area are the "gold standard" in terms of husband-material. They represent the 98th percentile of the male population. If your daughter is in the middle of the bell curve in terms of looks, height, weight, etc, how on earth do you possibly think she's going to attract a suitor that is at the extreme far right end of their own repestive curve?

To attract and wed an above-average husband like that, a young woman MUST be above-average herself.

Simply being "attractive" isn't enough. Being in shape, isn't enough. Being educated, isn't enough. There are SCORES of attractive, thin, educated women in this area for every potential trophy husband.

If you want your daughter to marry a 98th percentile man, she needs to be equally impressive herself. That means stunning looks. Not just cute, not just beautiful, but stunning. Same for weight. "Average", just will not do. She needs to be model-thin, but at the same time, large breasted. Classic Barbie Doll type shape, and taller than average. Her level of fitness needs to be cross-fit instructor good, too. She should speak at least three languages ages, two fluently, and have an Ivy undergrad background. And she needs to be HIGHLY skilled sexually. She needs to be able to perform like a porn star. Nothing should be beyond her.

All these elements are what separate "average" young women from those who can land a 98th percentile husband.

Average women marry average men. Period. Above average men won't marry average women. They'll date them. They'll have sex with them. They'll amuse themselves with them. But they will NOT marry them.

If you want more for your daughter than an average husband, you need to shape her into something well above average herself.


This post will cause some anger, but there's nothing in it that isn't true.

NP here. I'm not going to argue whether or not this is true. I don't know.

But if it is true, it seems like it would be easier just to get a good job. I'd rather put all of that energy into being able to support myself than putting it all into attracting a guy who very well may ditch me when I'm old.

Life is too short to play that game. It doesn't sound like a happy life to me.

Sorry but do you honestly think men earning above $200k are the 98th percentile in DC? Most men earn that. I think a man earning closer to $1 million is the 98th percentile. $200k is good I'm not knocking it but it's nothing special in this area.

you are crazy. i know this place is a bubble but lady you are the original girl in the bubble.

Sorry but those are just the facts here.

[Anonymous]

Oh come ON now and don't reply to the troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want my girls to marry a provider. They are both college grads with good jobs. When they have children, I want them to be able to SAH at least until the kids are school age. That's what they want as well. The idea of my grand babies in a daycare center or with a nanny is just too awful to consider. My oldest son is married and is a wonderful provider. My DIL is at home with the baby.

Dramatic much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A better question is "what are you teaching your daughters to attract and keep a husband who is a big earner and good provider?"

Men earning over $200K in the DC area are the "gold standard" in terms of husband-material. They represent the 98th percentile of the male population. If your daughter is in the middle of the bell curve in terms of looks, height, weight, etc, how on earth do you possibly think she's going to attract a suitor that is at the extreme far right end of their own repestive curve?

To attract and wed an above-average husband like that, a young woman MUST be above-average herself.

Simply being "attractive" isn't enough. Being in shape, isn't enough. Being educated, isn't enough. There are SCORES of attractive, thin, educated women in this area for every potential trophy husband.

If you want your daughter to marry a 98th percentile man, she needs to be equally impressive herself. That means stunning looks. Not just cute, not just beautiful, but stunning. Same for weight. "Average", just will not do. She needs to be model-thin, but at the same time, large breasted. Classic Barbie Doll type shape, and taller than average. Her level of fitness needs to be cross-fit instructor good, too. She should speak at least three languages ages, two fluently, and have an Ivy undergrad background. And she needs to be HIGHLY skilled sexually. She needs to be able to perform like a porn star. Nothing should be beyond her.

All these elements are what separate "average" young women from those who can land a 98th percentile husband.

Average women marry average men. Period. Above average men won't marry average women. They'll date them. They'll have sex with them. They'll amuse themselves with them. But they will NOT marry them.

If you want more for your daughter than an average husband, you need to shape her into something well above average herself.


This post will cause some anger, but there's nothing in it that isn't true.

NP here. I'm not going to argue whether or not this is true. I don't know.

But if it is true, it seems like it would be easier just to get a good job. I'd rather put all of that energy into being able to support myself than putting it all into attracting a guy who very well may ditch me when I'm old.

Life is too short to play that game. It doesn't sound like a happy life to me.

Sorry but do you honestly think men earning above $200k are the 98th percentile in DC? Most men earn that. I think a man earning closer to $1 million is the 98th percentile. $200k is good I'm not knocking it but it's nothing special in this area.

you are crazy. i know this place is a bubble but lady you are the original girl in the bubble.

The PP is nuts. I'm married to a high earner and never thought about any of that. I suppose I'm attractive and I'm educated, but really we just started dating and had fun. I was focused on finding a man I enjoyed spending time with and had similar interests. Where I'm from 200k isn't a lot of money really. Most men I dated were urban professionals and either made this much or had the ability to earn this much one day.

[Anonymous]

I am teaching mine (a) not to get married too young, before she's achieved some milestones on her own, (b) not to get pregnant too young, before she's done some of the stuff she wants to do, and (c) to find a career that allows her to provide for herself. And (d) find a guy who likes her for who she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A better question is "what are you teaching your daughters to attract and keep a husband who is a big earner and good provider?"

Men earning over $200K in the DC area are the "gold standard" in terms of husband-material. They represent the 98th percentile of the male population. If your daughter is in the middle of the bell curve in terms of looks, height, weight, etc, how on earth do you possibly think she's going to attract a suitor that is at the extreme far right end of their own repestive curve?

To attract and wed an above-average husband like that, a young woman MUST be above-average herself.

Simply being "attractive" isn't enough. Being in shape, isn't enough. Being educated, isn't enough. There are SCORES of attractive, thin, educated women in this area for every potential trophy husband.

If you want your daughter to marry a 98th percentile man, she needs to be equally impressive herself. That means stunning looks. Not just cute, not just beautiful, but stunning. Same for weight. "Average", just will not do. She needs to be model-thin, but at the same time, large breasted. Classic Barbie Doll type shape, and taller than average. Her level of fitness needs to be cross-fit instructor good, too. She should speak at least three languages ages, two fluently, and have an Ivy undergrad background. And she needs to be HIGHLY skilled sexually. She needs to be able to perform like a porn star. Nothing should be beyond her.

All these elements are what separate "average" young women from those who can land a 98th percentile husband.

Average women marry average men. Period. Above average men won't marry average women. They'll date them. They'll have sex with them. They'll amuse themselves with them. But they will NOT marry them.

If you want more for your daughter than an average husband, you need to shape her into something well above average herself.


This post will cause some anger, but there's nothing in it that isn't true.

NP here. I'm not going to argue whether or not this is true. I don't know.

But if it is true, it seems like it would be easier just to get a good job. I'd rather put all of that energy into being able to support myself than putting it all into attracting a guy who very well may ditch me when I'm old.

Life is too short to play that game. It doesn't sound like a happy life to me.

Sorry but do you honestly think men earning above $200k are the 98th percentile in DC? Most men earn that. I think a man earning closer to $1 million is the 98th percentile. $200k is good I'm not knocking it but it's nothing special in this area.

you are crazy. i know this place is a bubble but lady you are the original girl in the bubble.

Sorry but those are just the facts here.

What nonsense. According to you I married a 99 percentile man then (700k) and I confess I am pretty stunningly average. Our personalities get along wel and we have fun together.

[Anonymous]

Not directly. We live very comfortably and I told my daughters that it took both my DH and I working hard and doing well to make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A better question is "what are you teaching your daughters to attract and keep a husband who is a big earner and good provider?"

Men earning over $200K in the DC area are the "gold standard" in terms of husband-material. They represent the 98th percentile of the male population. If your daughter is in the middle of the bell curve in terms of looks, height, weight, etc, how on earth do you possibly think she's going to attract a suitor that is at the extreme far right end of their own repestive curve?

To attract and wed an above-average husband like that, a young woman MUST be above-average herself.

Simply being "attractive" isn't enough. Being in shape, isn't enough. Being educated, isn't enough. There are SCORES of attractive, thin, educated women in this area for every potential trophy husband.

If you want your daughter to marry a 98th percentile man, she needs to be equally impressive herself. That means stunning looks. Not just cute, not just beautiful, but stunning. Same for weight. "Average", just will not do. She needs to be model-thin, but at the same time, large breasted. Classic Barbie Doll type shape, and taller than average. Her level of fitness needs to be cross-fit instructor good, too. She should speak at least three languages ages, two fluently, and have an Ivy undergrad background. And she needs to be HIGHLY skilled sexually. She needs to be able to perform like a porn star. Nothing should be beyond her.

All these elements are what separate "average" young women from those who can land a 98th percentile husband.

Average women marry average men. Period. Above average men won't marry average women. They'll date them. They'll have sex with them. They'll amuse themselves with them. But they will NOT marry them.

If you want more for your daughter than an average husband, you need to shape her into something well above average herself.


This post will cause some anger, but there's nothing in it that isn't true.

This is so ridiculous I don't even know where to begin.

#1, 200K isn't any sort of "gold standard", I make close to this and my career is pretty average. A woman of stunning model good looks won't find a 200K drone remotely interesting.

#2, men with real wealth, not the 200K/year office dwellers, but real wealth, will likely marry women of equal wealth. Their looks will be irrelevant as long as they pass the cute, not-disfigured bar. Wealthy men may amuse themselves with stunningly beautiful women but are more likely to marry their social and professional peers. There are a lot more stunningly beautiful women than wealthy men in this world. If you don't believe me, look at the NY Times wedding announcement pages, and see if women in these photos are stunning. They aren't. They are just born into the same social circle as their wealthy husbands.

The #1 tip to marry a wealthy husband is to be born and raised in the wealthy circles. Then marrying wealth will be normal to you. Trump/Kushner is an example of such a match, no matter what you think of their politics.

The next-best tip is to be, professionally and socially, what you expect your husband to be. Then meeting and procreating will be natural to you. This explains the double-lawyer, the WB/IMF couples. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my girls to marry a provider. They are both college grads with good jobs. When they have children, I want them to be able to SAH at least until the kids are school age. That's what they want as well. The idea of my grand babies in a daycare center or with a nanny is just too awful to consider. My oldest son is married and is a wonderful provider. My DIL is at home with the baby.

Why can't your girls be the providers and marry men who want to stay at home? Is that also "too awful to consider"?

As soon as men start giving birth and breastfeeding that will make more sense. Until then, it's a stupid argument. Women are created to be near their young children. For all the talk of "natural" and "organic" on dcum, you would think this would be easy to grasp.

You are ridiculous. A parent does not stay at home giving birth and breastfeeding for years and years. Your outdated idea that only women should parent young children is sexist and awful. Why did you bother to have your children go to college if all you dream for them is to get married and stay home with babies hanging off their breasts?

[Anonymous]

My mother always said its just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is with a poor man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my girls to marry a provider. They are both college grads with good jobs. When they have children, I want them to be able to SAH at least until the kids are school age. That's what they want as well. The idea of my grand babies in a daycare center or with a nanny is just too awful to consider. My oldest son is married and is a wonderful provider. My DIL is at home with the baby.

Why can't your girls be the providers and marry men who want to stay at home? Is that also "too awful to consider"?

As soon as men start giving birth and breastfeeding that will make more sense. Until then, it's a stupid argument. Women are created to be near their young children. For all the talk of "natural" and "organic" on dcum, you would think this would be easy to grasp.

You are ridiculous. A parent does not stay at home giving birth and breastfeeding for years and years. Your outdated idea that only women should parent young children is sexist and awful. Why did you bother to have your children go to college if all you dream for them is to get married and stay home with babies hanging off their breasts?

Did you read my post? I specifically said "while they are young". I have five kids. And a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want my girls to marry a provider. They are both college grads with good jobs. When they have children, I want them to be able to SAH at least until the kids are school age. That's what they want as well. The idea of my grand babies in a daycare center or with a nanny is just too awful to consider. My oldest son is married and is a wonderful provider. My DIL is at home with the baby.

My nanny is way better at staying home with kids all day than I would ever be.
I want my daughters to provide for themselves. And only IF they want to get married, to marry their equals.