How to find a guy who will let me be a SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Careful, I'm sure that's what Melania was going for and now look.

bwahaha!

She got her just desserts. That's the life of a gold digger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So working moms don't put their children first?

Shut up, OP. And grow up, too.

+10000. No shit. Just admit you are a lazy gold digger already.

Men are the ultimate gold diggers. Women have to do all of the work to bring a child into this world and raise it. Men dont do anything. They are taking advantage of free labor by the woman.

sorry, no. having a child is not a job.

[Anonymous]

what is all of this "my husband wants me to work" or "my husband doesn't want me to work." working should be a mutual decision based on your finances and goals and ambitions, If you don't want to work, then find a guy who really does want to work and makes a lot of money, but also treats you with respect and doesn't "force" you to work when you don't want to. Such a weird post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you asked a serious question so I will give a serious answer. I don't know why people had to criticize you as I think a fair number of women would prefer this once they have kids since children is so expensive and hard to find in this area.

So, here are some tips:

1. Make sure to keep yourself looking great...that means working out every day and going to bed hungry
2. Learn home arts such as great cooking, sewing, and washing
3. Subscribe to Sports Illustrated and learn as much as you can about the names of basketball, football, and baseball teams. Add in hockey and soccer if you have time
4. Get a job as a paralegal. I know tons of rich partners who have left their starter wives for a much younger, baby making mommy.
5. Learn to laugh at everything he says
6. Join a gym where there are more guys than girls
7. Read, read, read...get a broad range of magazines from HBR to People, Entertainment, Esquire, Wash Post, NYT, Wall Street Journal
8. Repeat until this strategy works
9. Tell all of your friends about your plan...they may know someone
10. Two of my SILs do this...one always criticizes my brother he doesn't make enough money...never do this!
11. Good luck! Your man is out there. I knew a guy from Harvard Law School who wouldn't date anyone if they wanted to WOHM

You can delete the remainder of this list.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you asked a serious question so I will give a serious answer. I don't know why people had to criticize you as I think a fair number of women would prefer this once they have kids since children is so expensive and hard to find in this area.

So, here are some tips:

1. Make sure to keep yourself looking great...that means working out every day and going to bed hungry
2. Learn home arts such as great cooking, sewing, and washing
3. Subscribe to Sports Illustrated and learn as much as you can about the names of basketball, football, and baseball teams. Add in hockey and soccer if you have time
4. Get a job as a paralegal. I know tons of rich partners who have left their starter wives for a much younger, baby making mommy.
5. Learn to laugh at everything he says
6. Join a gym where there are more guys than girls
7. Read, read, read...get a broad range of magazines from HBR to People, Entertainment, Esquire, Wash Post, NYT, Wall Street Journal
8. Repeat until this strategy works
9. Tell all of your friends about your plan...they may know someone
10. Two of my SILs do this...one always criticizes my brother he doesn't make enough money...never do this!
11. Good luck! Your man is out there. I knew a guy from Harvard Law School who wouldn't date anyone if they wanted to WOHM

That list is ridiculous. Her eis how it worked for me:

1. Had two kids in quick succession.
2. Started off working and putting them in daycare.
3. Cried everyday because I did not see them enough.
4. They were terrible sleepers going into year two. My husband and I were totally spent all the time. Zombies / low performers at work.
5. Daycare costs for two were killing us.
6. Realized we were totally overwhelmed.
7. I quit my job.
8. We moved to a cheaper neighborhood.


And in reality, now that I have done both, it isn't easier or better for the kids, just different. I totally get why people work, and totally get why people stay home. You (nor your future husband) can't go into parenthood with preconceived plans, you make choices as you go and just have to land on a balance that works.

How NOT to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Indian and was more than ok with me being a SAHM. Perhaps find someone from a traditional background if you're into foreign men.

Not always. My ex is Indian and he was not okay with me staying at home. Talk to him first. What did his mom or other women in his family do? This will give you clues as to what his expectations will be. In my ex's, case the women in his family were all very successful business women. His mother made her first million on her own (she came from a poor background).

If you are looking for an engineer, there's no shortage of Indian dudes, so that's a good place to start. They are more traditional, but the ones from super educated families are less tradition ( ie mom is a doctor). So, don't fall for assumptions based on his culture. Ask him about what his mom, sisters, aunts, grandmother do if it's early dating and you don't want to put it out there yet that you need to stay home. If they all stayed at home he'll probably expect you will too. If they are educated working women he'll probably want that in a spouse too.
Whatever you do, don't waste time. Cast a wide net and discard any guy who isn't meeting your standards. Time is not on your side here. It much easier to get away with this if you are still young (under 30).

Indian dudes want educated women, whether they plan to stay at home or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So working moms don't put their children first?

Shut up, OP. And grow up, too.

+10000. No shit. Just admit you are a lazy gold digger already.

Men are the ultimate gold diggers. Women have to do all of the work to bring a child into this world and raise it. Men dont do anything. They are taking advantage of free labor by the woman.

sorry, no. having a child is not a job.

It's not a job but it is sure as sh*t WORK. I think PP is being melodramatic about men taking advantage, but it's true that pregnancy and childbearing are an enormous burden borne solely borne by women. Obviously that's nature, but it should still be recognized. And raising children should be joint work but too often is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not want to have to struggle as I am trying to raise my children. It is important to me that I can be home with them and give them everything they need and deserve.

I want to marry a man who can be a good provider and is okay with me putting the children first.

What should be my game plan?

Do engineers make good husbands?

What happened to the father of your children?

I think OP is referring to future, not existent, children.

That's not how I read it. It sounds like she's looking for a shlump who will support her and her brood of illegitimate kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So working moms don't put their children first?

Shut up, OP. And grow up, too.

+10000. No shit. Just admit you are a lazy gold digger already.

Men are the ultimate gold diggers. Women have to do all of the work to bring a child into this world and raise it. Men dont do anything. They are taking advantage of free labor by the woman.

sorry, no. having a child is not a job.

It's not a job but it is sure as sh*t WORK. I think PP is being melodramatic about men taking advantage, but it's true that pregnancy and childbearing are an enormous burden borne solely borne by women. Obviously that's nature, but it should still be recognized. And raising children should be joint work but too often is not.

So PP shouldn't have had children with such a shitty man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think bigger than an engineer. Doctor or someone high up in Finance. Or family money.

Wrong way, girl. Take a different road that takes you to dignity.

[Anonymous]

A lot of military men have stay at home wives, but it's a hard life and the divorce rates are high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you asked a serious question so I will give a serious answer. I don't know why people had to criticize you as I think a fair number of women would prefer this once they have kids since children is so expensive and hard to find in this area.

So, here are some tips:

1. Make sure to keep yourself looking great...that means working out every day and going to bed hungry
2. Learn home arts such as great cooking, sewing, and washing
3. Subscribe to Sports Illustrated and learn as much as you can about the names of basketball, football, and baseball teams. Add in hockey and soccer if you have time
4. Get a job as a paralegal. I know tons of rich partners who have left their starter wives for a much younger, baby making mommy.
5. Learn to laugh at everything he says
6. Join a gym where there are more guys than girls
7. Read, read, read...get a broad range of magazines from HBR to People, Entertainment, Esquire, Wash Post, NYT, Wall Street Journal
8. Repeat until this strategy works
9. Tell all of your friends about your plan...they may know someone
10. Two of my SILs do this...one always criticizes my brother he doesn't make enough money...never do this!
11. Good luck! Your man is out there. I knew a guy from Harvard Law School who wouldn't date anyone if they wanted to WOHM

Dear God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of military men have stay at home wives, but it's a hard life and the divorce rates are high.

This is an excellent idea. Make sure to find one who enjoys living abroad so you can travel while he works in Germany or Japan or what not.

[Anonymous]

OP do you already have kids or nor?

[Anonymous]

"Let you"? It's a decision that two adults make together based on what is best for your family.