Would like to hear from late 50, 60-somethings with teens

[Anonymous]

OP here. Would also not have chosen to have my first kid at 44, but hopefully will remain healthy for them. I do whatever I can to keep myself healthy and strong. They are wonderful blessings and I think older parents, while less energetic, may offer other benefits. In any case, it's such a joy being a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finding this string fascinating. Definitely shows there are two sides (at least) to every coin. I am 49 and my husband (>50) and I are pregnant with our first. Have led a wonderfully fulfilling life to date, as a high-paid professional, who has travelled the world, been the go-to aunt for my numerous nieces/nephews, and am looking forward to this new phase. And, no, I don't feel anywhere close to my age, and I don't have energy problems, or out of touch with the youth of today, so don't bother wishing me well if you are planning to retire at 53 as I've set myself up very well. You chose your lot and I chose mine and the decision was a very conscious, educated one. My kid is going to be very lucky to have me as its (we don't know the sex yet) mom at this age ... I can provide much better than if I had the kid in my 30s.

Insane. You will be 70 when your kid is 20.

[Anonymous]

Irresponsible use of technologies to have kids so late. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding this string fascinating. Definitely shows there are two sides (at least) to every coin. I am 49 and my husband (>50) and I are pregnant with our first. Have led a wonderfully fulfilling life to date, as a high-paid professional, who has travelled the world, been the go-to aunt for my numerous nieces/nephews, and am looking forward to this new phase. And, no, I don't feel anywhere close to my age, and I don't have energy problems, or out of touch with the youth of today, so don't bother wishing me well if you are planning to retire at 53 as I've set myself up very well. You chose your lot and I chose mine and the decision was a very conscious, educated one. My kid is going to be very lucky to have me as its (we don't know the sex yet) mom at this age ... I can provide much better than if I had the kid in my 30s.

Insane. You will be 70 when your kid is 20.

+1. That's what I thought too. PP, it's not all about money and what you can provide. Your child will want to spend quality time with you and not just visit you in an assisted living facility. You'll be almost 70 at their high school graduation, yikes!

[Anonymous]

We are blessed in our mid-50s with a middle schooler. We have amazing times together & we work hard to stay young & fit. We are very well educated & have the gift of a more mature prospective. Only God knows how long any of us will live! I must admit that being older & financially successful has been great fun for all of us. We work hard & our daughter is very dedicated to her studies. Now when she learns about something or somewhere interesting, we can just hop in the car or on a plane & go to see it. We could never have done that earlier in our career. Just be grateful & live your best life with your family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that is what my friend who died of cancer at age 44 thought.

Who are you talking to?

Probably the 41 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding this string fascinating. Definitely shows there are two sides (at least) to every coin. I am 49 and my husband (>50) and I are pregnant with our first. Have led a wonderfully fulfilling life to date, as a high-paid professional, who has travelled the world, been the go-to aunt for my numerous nieces/nephews, and am looking forward to this new phase. And, no, I don't feel anywhere close to my age, and I don't have energy problems, or out of touch with the youth of today, so don't bother wishing me well if you are planning to retire at 53 as I've set myself up very well. You chose your lot and I chose mine and the decision was a very conscious, educated one. My kid is going to be very lucky to have me as its (we don't know the sex yet) mom at this age ... I can provide much better than if I had the kid in my 30s.

Insane. You will be 70 when your kid is 20.

Plenty of 70 year old men have young kids. In fact, the president-elect...well, you know.

You are a sexist, PP.

[Anonymous]

There's a big difference between people who met their partners later in life and those who choose to postpone their child-rearing to enjoy married life for a decade or more prior to having kids.

The first isn't a choice, the second is, and the choice has consequences. In essence, the second type of parents prioritized their own careers and adventures over their children getting to spend as much quality time with them.

You may not see that now, but I guarantee your children will. I have many friends with older parents. Some have lost their parents in their early to mid-30s. Others are about 40 now but have parents in extremely poor health (in care or with movement difficult).

That's really tough on children, and I wonder if so many people would wait so long to have kids to "build their careers and travel" if they understood what the future likely held. Everyone thinks they will be the 75-year old who is in perfect health and playing tennis 5 days a week, but that's the exception to the rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between people who met their partners later in life and those who choose to postpone their child-rearing to enjoy married life for a decade or more prior to having kids.

The first isn't a choice, the second is, and the choice has consequences. In essence, the second type of parents prioritized their own careers and adventures over their children getting to spend as much quality time with them.

You may not see that now, but I guarantee your children will. I have many friends with older parents. Some have lost their parents in their early to mid-30s. Others are about 40 now but have parents in extremely poor health (in care or with movement difficult).

That's really tough on children, and I wonder if so many people would wait so long to have kids to "build their careers and travel" if they understood what the future likely held. Everyone thinks they will be the 75-year old who is in perfect health and playing tennis 5 days a week, but that's the exception to the rule.

I have the opposite issue...my parents had me when they were older. I am now in my late 40s and my parents, in their 90s are still alive. Not in the best of shape, but still alive. My childhood friends with younger parents? The parents are mostly dead. (I lived in a blue collar area where most people smoke and drank and worked hard jobs; my parents avoided all the lifestyle issues by not smoking and drinking.) On the plus side, my friends with younger parents did not have the parents linger--they pretty much died of strokes or heart attacks. Sometimes things don't work out they way you think they will.

[Anonymous]

If you look at charts of percentage of women having children in their 40s, it was very high before the 60s, dipped sharply with birth control, then has risen again to those levels. Both my grandmas had a child in their 40s (#8 for both) when the oldest was already grown.

There's no right or wrong, people play the cards they're dealt and find ways to enjoy or endure either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

We did that in our 20s as singles and our 30s together. I see my parents limping along on retirement cruises and I didn't want to do that. But as others have said, people have different time lines.

Go to China and Egpyt, two of my favorites. Enjoy!

Us too.

We were childless by choice (and high earning DINks) from 26-35.

We traveled extensively (and first class due to miles!). We took a year long sabbatical to party and live in Europe. Life was fantastic--ran with the ups, live parade, tomato fest, Oktoberfest, etc. nightclubs with no closing times in Barcelona. None of these things compatible with 50+ year olds. It's a different kind of travel.

Glad I got to experience young and pretty. Doing it some with kids. I still plan to travel in 50s/60s, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding this string fascinating. Definitely shows there are two sides (at least) to every coin. I am 49 and my husband (>50) and I are pregnant with our first. Have led a wonderfully fulfilling life to date, as a high-paid professional, who has travelled the world, been the go-to aunt for my numerous nieces/nephews, and am looking forward to this new phase. And, no, I don't feel anywhere close to my age, and I don't have energy problems, or out of touch with the youth of today, so don't bother wishing me well if you are planning to retire at 53 as I've set myself up very well. You chose your lot and I chose mine and the decision was a very conscious, educated one. My kid is going to be very lucky to have me as its (we don't know the sex yet) mom at this age ... I can provide much better than if I had the kid in my 30s.

Insane. You will be 70 when your kid is 20.

+1. That's what I thought too. PP, it's not all about money and what you can provide. Your child will want to spend quality time with you and not just visit you in an assisted living facility. You'll be almost 70 at their high school graduation, yikes!

I guess the poster above comes from a family with poor genetics. My father, 86, still walks 5 miles everyday and is as sharp as ever. My in-laws, 77 and 80, are going on a Nordic skiing trip in Sweden over the holidays (they will be skiing from lodging to lodging). People in our families have lived into their 90's way before medicine has gotten to where it is today. I will be 65 when my child is 18 and fully expect to see her graduate from college and grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

We spent our 20's and 30's traveling all over and we didn't need walkers or prescription boxes along the way. We were very ready to have children and do not regret having them later.

I don't feel like I'm a "special kind" (whatever that means). And maybe you can't imagine because your health is already going downhill???

Np. That poster said they plan on traveling when they are 53 and this thread is talking of people in that same age range with young kids.

Are all you older 50 something parents in walkers too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

We did that in our 20s as singles and our 30s together. I see my parents limping along on retirement cruises and I didn't want to do that. But as others have said, people have different time lines.

Go to China and Egpyt, two of my favorites. Enjoy!

Us too.

We were childless by choice (and high earning DINks) from 26-35.

We traveled extensively (and first class due to miles!). We took a year long sabbatical to party and live in Europe. Life was fantastic--ran with the ups, live parade, tomato fest, Oktoberfest, etc. nightclubs with no closing times in Barcelona. None of these things compatible with 50+ year olds. It's a different kind of travel.

Glad I got to experience young and pretty. Doing it some with kids. I still plan to travel in 50s/60s, btw.

Good for you. I'm trying to think of how many 26-35 year old people I know (or have known) that were able to go on year long, European, partying sabbaticals like that and....not a one. I can't even think of one in that age group that went on a month long partying sabbatical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

We did that in our 20s as singles and our 30s together. I see my parents limping along on retirement cruises and I didn't want to do that. But as others have said, people have different time lines.

Go to China and Egpyt, two of my favorites. Enjoy!

Us too.

We were childless by choice (and high earning DINks) from 26-35.

We traveled extensively (and first class due to miles!). We took a year long sabbatical to party and live in Europe. Life was fantastic--ran with the ups, live parade, tomato fest, Oktoberfest, etc. nightclubs with no closing times in Barcelona. None of these things compatible with 50+ year olds. It's a different kind of travel.

Glad I got to experience young and pretty. Doing it some with kids. I still plan to travel in 50s/60s, btw.

Good for you. I'm trying to think of how many 26-35 year old people I know (or have known) that were able to go on year long, European, partying sabbaticals like that and....not a one. I can't even think of one in that age group that went on a month long partying sabbatical.

Clearly, if you don't know such people, they must not exist.