Hot dads, not so hot moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It took years for my model built XH to finally gain a small pouch. It sits atop a lot of muscle, but it's there!

Before I piled on the weight, I'd also had all of the responsibilities of caring for two children and a household piled on me. XH (then my somewhat DH) was at the gym daily. Of course he looked amazing. He didn't have a care in the world!

How'd SHE let it get that far? How'd he keep himself free of all responsibility for that long? That's the question I'd ask. The gym was the first thing DH took from me. Sleep was next. If that's not a recipe for weight gain, I don't know what is.

Also a recipe for weight gain: eating like crap. Which you can't blame on him. Bodies are 70% made in the kitchen, 30% in the gym. Blaming your ex only goes so far.

Yeah because someone running an entire household and raising kids on her own has a whole lot of time to plan out super healthy meals. Until they make quinoa salad as easy to prepare as hamburger helper, people like PP are going to have a hard time easily eating healthy.

[Anonymous]

Actually being fat is the result of thr American lifestyle. I lived in Spain for a number of years and was rail thin, despite eating loads of bread, manchego cheese, dried meats, rice, and copious amounts of wine and never stepping foot in the gym. I walked everywhere, all the time. My metabolism was cranking all day long. I move back here and subsist on salad greens while sitting in a car and at a desk and bust my ass for an hour a day at the gym and get frumpy.

Out lifestyle here in thr US sucks ass.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she used to be hot.

I don't think DH and I are mismatched but he is now more attractive than I am. When I was 25, I was pretty cute and had an awesome figure. 15 years, 2 kids and other health problems resulting in surgery have done a real number on my body. I went from being 110 pounds to 130 pounds. I had these perfect boobs when I was 25. 2 kids later, they are ok but my mid section is almost the same as my breasts. I was probably 34-25-30 and now 34-30-30. Definitely do not look hot in a bikini. On the other hand, DH's body is pretty much the same. He was always on the lean side.

An ivy league educated girl with a cute face and nice figure was pretty high in demand when she was in her 20's. Now a 40 yo average looking successful man is high in demand. A 40 yo mom with 2 kids who used to have a great career and great figure may not be as attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she used to be hot.

I don't think DH and I are mismatched but he is now more attractive than I am. When I was 25, I was pretty cute and had an awesome figure. 15 years, 2 kids and other health problems resulting in surgery have done a real number on my body. I went from being 110 pounds to 130 pounds. I had these perfect boobs when I was 25. 2 kids later, they are ok but my mid section is almost the same as my breasts. I was probably 34-25-30 and now 34-30-30. Definitely do not look hot in a bikini. On the other hand, DH's body is pretty much the same. He was always on the lean side.

An ivy league educated girl with a cute face and nice figure was pretty high in demand when she was in her 20's. Now a 40 yo average looking successful man is high in demand. A 40 yo mom with 2 kids who used to have a great career and great figure may not be as attractive.

Ha. This is me too. Good thing my DH can see past the superficial changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone like Rob Lowe stays with his beautiful wife in spite of her up/down weight then maybe even really attractive and successful men marry women for more than just their looks?

His wife is just ugly.

[Anonymous]

PP again. We know a dual lawyer couple. Dad is almost 50, has a dad body, very average but extremely successful. Mom is late 40's, wears these horrible glasses all the time and overweight. Kids are teenagers. Daughter is really pretty. Always wondered where the girl got her looks. Saw a picture of the mom when she graduated from college. She was smoking hot at age 22. I could not believe it was the same person. Just because she is old and ugly now doesn't mean that she did not look better when she was young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It took years for my model built XH to finally gain a small pouch. It sits atop a lot of muscle, but it's there!

Before I piled on the weight, I'd also had all of the responsibilities of caring for two children and a household piled on me. XH (then my somewhat DH) was at the gym daily. Of course he looked amazing. He didn't have a care in the world!

How'd SHE let it get that far? How'd he keep himself free of all responsibility for that long? That's the question I'd ask. The gym was the first thing DH took from me. Sleep was next. If that's not a recipe for weight gain, I don't know what is.

Also a recipe for weight gain: eating like crap. Which you can't blame on him. Bodies are 70% made in the kitchen, 30% in the gym. Blaming your ex only goes so far.

Yeah because someone running an entire household and raising kids on her own has a whole lot of time to plan out super healthy meals. Until they make quinoa salad as easy to prepare as hamburger helper, people like PP are going to have a hard time easily eating healthy.

Lies. People who eat healthy are laughing at the fallacy that it's impossible to do while having to run a house/raise kids/breathe air.

[Anonymous]

Isn't it possible to look frumpy/not put together when at the pool playing with kids? Or are women supposed to look as attractive as possible all of the time in order not to be judged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It took years for my model built XH to finally gain a small pouch. It sits atop a lot of muscle, but it's there!

Before I piled on the weight, I'd also had all of the responsibilities of caring for two children and a household piled on me. XH (then my somewhat DH) was at the gym daily. Of course he looked amazing. He didn't have a care in the world!

How'd SHE let it get that far? How'd he keep himself free of all responsibility for that long? That's the question I'd ask. The gym was the first thing DH took from me. Sleep was next. If that's not a recipe for weight gain, I don't know what is.

Also a recipe for weight gain: eating like crap. Which you can't blame on him. Bodies are 70% made in the kitchen, 30% in the gym. Blaming your ex only goes so far.

Yeah because someone running an entire household and raising kids on her own has a whole lot of time to plan out super healthy meals. Until they make quinoa salad as easy to prepare as hamburger helper, people like PP are going to have a hard time easily eating healthy.

Lies. People who eat healthy are laughing at the fallacy that it's impossible to do while having to run a house/raise kids/breathe air.

Well, we can be sure that your mom made it a priority. That is why you grew into such a lovely, empathetic person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was out at the pool and saw this attractive dad, relatively good shape, with his kids. There was this very unattractive woman, overweight, frumpy, not well put together with him. I honestly thought it was the babysitter or something, but it was his wife! I couldn't take my eyes off of them, what happened, how could she let it go so far? I feel in general men tend to go "up" in looks, any men who was not as hot as the wife then have a total reversal?

Do you have the same comment for men who are not so hot and have hot wives?

There are tons of fat men with hot women... it's called money.

Yes and they are often old fossils.

OP you never know what their dynamic is. Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It took years for my model built XH to finally gain a small pouch. It sits atop a lot of muscle, but it's there!

Before I piled on the weight, I'd also had all of the responsibilities of caring for two children and a household piled on me. XH (then my somewhat DH) was at the gym daily. Of course he looked amazing. He didn't have a care in the world!

How'd SHE let it get that far? How'd he keep himself free of all responsibility for that long? That's the question I'd ask. The gym was the first thing DH took from me. Sleep was next. If that's not a recipe for weight gain, I don't know what is.

Also a recipe for weight gain: eating like crap. Which you can't blame on him. Bodies are 70% made in the kitchen, 30% in the gym. Blaming your ex only goes so far.

Yeah because someone running an entire household and raising kids on her own has a whole lot of time to plan out super healthy meals. Until they make quinoa salad as easy to prepare as hamburger helper, people like PP are going to have a hard time easily eating healthy.

Lies. People who eat healthy are laughing at the fallacy that it's impossible to do while having to run a house/raise kids/breathe air.

Well, we can be sure that your mom made it a priority. That is why you grew into such a lovely, empathetic person.

All I'm saying is it takes a lot of denial to blame your ex husband for your fatness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it possible to look frumpy/not put together when at the pool playing with kids? Or are women supposed to look as attractive as possible all of the time in order not to be judged.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It took years for my model built XH to finally gain a small pouch. It sits atop a lot of muscle, but it's there!

Before I piled on the weight, I'd also had all of the responsibilities of caring for two children and a household piled on me. XH (then my somewhat DH) was at the gym daily. Of course he looked amazing. He didn't have a care in the world!

How'd SHE let it get that far? How'd he keep himself free of all responsibility for that long? That's the question I'd ask. The gym was the first thing DH took from me. Sleep was next. If that's not a recipe for weight gain, I don't know what is.

Also a recipe for weight gain: eating like crap. Which you can't blame on him. Bodies are 70% made in the kitchen, 30% in the gym. Blaming your ex only goes so far.

Yeah because someone running an entire household and raising kids on her own has a whole lot of time to plan out super healthy meals. Until they make quinoa salad as easy to prepare as hamburger helper, people like PP are going to have a hard time easily eating healthy.

Lies. People who eat healthy are laughing at the fallacy that it's impossible to do while having to run a house/raise kids/breathe air.

Well, we can be sure that your mom made it a priority. That is why you grew into such a lovely, empathetic person.

All I'm saying is it takes a lot of denial to blame your ex husband for your fatness.

It takes a really special person to believe that 'fatness' doesn't come from a whole constellation of behaviors in a person's life, some of which can be significantly impacted by an unsupportive partner, but rather just an incredible personal failing on the fat person's part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beard

Ha, no. Does it make any sense at all that a man would choose an overweight, not put together woman for appearances sake? Lol. Might want to rethink the logic on that sweetie.

Actually, I've seen this twice. It's only two examples from my own personal experience but I have know two men who everyone thought to be gay...that is to say that had all of the stereotypical gay mannerisms...but both were married with kids. Both wives were overweight and frumpy and what most would consider a couple of levels below the man in the physical appearance department. Both these guys ended up leavinf their wives for other men.

Again, just two random examples from my personal experience but it stands to reason that if a man is gay and not admitting it to himself and just going through the motions that the attractiveness of his wife wouldn't matter that much because he's not attracted to women.

Now I don't really think that every hot dad with a frumpy mom is gay, but I've definitely seen that scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she used to be hot.

I don't think DH and I are mismatched but he is now more attractive than I am. When I was 25, I was pretty cute and had an awesome figure. 15 years, 2 kids and other health problems resulting in surgery have done a real number on my body. I went from being 110 pounds to 130 pounds. I had these perfect boobs when I was 25. 2 kids later, they are ok but my mid section is almost the same as my breasts. I was probably 34-25-30 and now 34-30-30. Definitely do not look hot in a bikini. On the other hand, DH's body is pretty much the same. He was always on the lean side.

An ivy league educated girl with a cute face and nice figure was pretty high in demand when she was in her 20's. Now a 40 yo average looking successful man is high in demand. A 40 yo mom with 2 kids who used to have a great career and great figure may not be as attractive.

Possibly. When I met DW she was 26 and hot. I was 28 and kind of geeky. Who knows why she chose me. Today I'm 48 and still in good shape while she weighs 230 pounds. It happens.