Constructive Feedback on Wife's Hair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you ladies grew out your hair before your wedding then cut it quite a bit shortly thereafter?

In any case, pretty much nobody cuts their hair short for their wedding. So the idea that it looks more attractive is b.s. When you want to look pretty, the hair gets long.

Hm, no. After 35-40 very few woman have shiny, healthy looking hair. Hair, like skin, ages., no matter how well you care for it. Long old hairs is not pretty. Woman with long thining hair look pathetic.

Judging people like this will age you faster than any hairstyle.

[Anonymous]

I have straight, very very fine, and, after pregnancy, rather thin hair. I have a petite face but with strong cheeckbones and jawline. I am also 45. I look far, far better with hair between chin and shoulders than longer--once it gets to a certain length, there is no body to it at all, and it just sits there,limp and flat and ugly. If I try to blow dry it for volume (which lasts about 2 hours anyway), the ends start to look like cotton candy. I grew it to my shoulders for my wedding only to be able to put it up in an updo--a look I like, but could not replicate without a stylist and several hours and hot rollers. DH admitted that while he liked how it looked up, he thought I looked better with it shorter.

Does my husband wish I had long, luxurious, bouncy hair? Sure he does. I do too. Have long wished for thick hair, and I would wear it longer. But I dont have that hair. I have the hair I have and I work it the best I can. DH probably wishes he had thick hair and no bald spot, but he doesn't. His is thinning, and I let him decide what to do with it--shave it all off, short cut, etc.

As for the OP, since you thought your wife looked beautiful with longer hair, you should only stress that angle. You could say, your new short cut is very chic, but I thought your longer hair was very sexy. Which do you prefer and why?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not every woman can pull of short hair.

Remember when Sheryl Crow cut her hair in the 90's? Yikes.

Simply remark to your wife that you prefer her hair a little longer, that you will miss running your hands through it, etc.

But also tell her what a beautiful woman she is with or without long hair.

Do not tell her she should let it grow longer, after all she is an adult and can wear her hair any way she desires.

But you still have every right to voice your opinion. As long as you do so lovingly and without judgement.

That is true. There is a girl in my class that is in her 20's, and she chopped at least 15 inches recently, and it looks really good. She can't do anything with it now, but the class was shocked because of how noticeable it was.

Others can not pull it off.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if some of us are talking past each other with different definitions of what constitutes "short."

OP: Can your wife still put her hair in a ponytail? (For me, that's sort of the divider -- if it's still long enough for a ponytail, it's not in mommy-bob territory.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its no wonder so many of you are miserable in your marriages. Both of us have preferences about levels of fitness and personal grooming. Of course our decision is our own but we certainly are not dismissive of what each of finds attractive.

Good luck, many of you need it.

So your husband prefers you with a fuscia pixie cut, turquoise contact lenses, in thigh high boots and fishnets. He sees you in yoga pants and feels nauseated. No nightgowns either.

Are you accommodating him because it's what he finds attractive?

No woman should have to mitigate her own



Wow, a very intellectual arguement and poorly spelled. Way to go.

I do shave my pits. And my legs. And my undercarriage. I get my hair done regularly, and I have a drawer filled with sexy lingerie that I wear. But - I don't do it "for" my DH. I do it for me. I do it because I lovefeeling sexy and turning him on, I do it because he makes me feel sexy every day, regardless if I am in pajamas with a snotty cold, in yoga pants and a ponytail, or in candlelight wearing black lace with my hair tumbled all around. I am not there for his enjoyment. I am there to share in the enjoyment together.

The fact that so many on this board can't understand the difference just shows me why there seems to be so many unhappily sexless marriages out there. What makes a woman feel sexy is being happy in her own skin, at all times. Needing to play a part to meet her partner's exacting standards undermines that.

You sound insane and long winded. Do you jabber all this nonsense in your husband's ear as well?

If you're not actually going to add anything to the discussion other than hurl personal insults, why post at all? Do you gaslight your partner as well?

Here's how fruitful discussion goes:

Person 1: I believe X. Here is why.
Person 2: I dis/agree. I don't support x because.. Y is what I believe. Here is where I feel you X argument is flawed.
Person 1: interesting. I never considered it that way. I still think X is correct, but Y is certainly a consideration.

blah blah blah blah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you ladies grew out your hair before your wedding then cut it quite a bit shortly thereafter?

In any case, pretty much nobody cuts their hair short for their wedding. So the idea that it looks more attractive is b.s. When you want to look pretty, the hair gets long.

Hm, no. After 35-40 very few woman have shiny, healthy looking hair. Hair, like skin, ages., no matter how well you care for it. Long old hairs is not pretty. Woman with long thining hair look pathetic.

Judging people like this will age you faster than any hairstyle.

I think she must be white. After 35, they end up with bad hair and bad skin. Most of them get dried out so quickly.

I'm from Iran and my hair is thick and extremely shiny, so thick that having it in a ponytail all day causes a headache. I have to wash it daily, there is so much natural oil. This is normal for middle eastern women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you ladies grew out your hair before your wedding then cut it quite a bit shortly thereafter?

In any case, pretty much nobody cuts their hair short for their wedding. So the idea that it looks more attractive is b.s. When you want to look pretty, the hair gets long.

Hm, no. After 35-40 very few woman have shiny, healthy looking hair. Hair, like skin, ages., no matter how well you care for it. Long old hairs is not pretty. Woman with long thining hair look pathetic.

Judging people like this will age you faster than any hairstyle.

I think she must be white. After 35, they end up with bad hair and bad skin. Most of them get dried out so quickly.

I'm from Iran and my hair is thick and extremely shiny, so thick that having it in a ponytail all day causes a headache. I have to wash it daily, there is so much natural oil. This is normal for middle eastern women.

Goody for you.

[Anonymous]

OP here, so I brought it up with some of the great suggestions here. Wife's first reaction was surprise that I actually had a preference (in a good way I think - she made a comment along the lines of the fact that she can be sweaty, bloated and bald and I would still be trying to have sex with her, which is true).

She said (and I don't know if this is true) that her hairdresser had recommended shorter hair because her tips were afraid (or something like that), but she prefers it a little longer and thought it was nice I had a preference on something. Someone upthread asked about current length - it is long enough for a short ponytail, just below shoulders. We were reminiscing how I used to ask her to curl her hair and she thought I stopped asking for things like that because I stopped noticing her "that way."

Anyway, it was positive and she said she will grow it out more. Her hair looks very healthy and shiny, she is 40.

Thanks for feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you ladies grew out your hair before your wedding then cut it quite a bit shortly thereafter?

In any case, pretty much nobody cuts their hair short for their wedding. So the idea that it looks more attractive is b.s. When you want to look pretty, the hair gets long.

Hm, no. After 35-40 very few woman have shiny, healthy looking hair. Hair, like skin, ages., no matter how well you care for it. Long old hairs is not pretty. Woman with long thining hair look pathetic.

Judging people like this will age you faster than any hairstyle.

I think she must be white. After 35, they end up with bad hair and bad skin. Most of them get dried out so quickly.

I'm from Iran and my hair is thick and extremely shiny, so thick that having it in a ponytail all day causes a headache. I have to wash it daily, there is so much natural oil. This is normal for middle eastern women.

Goody for you.

I am also beautiful and amazing because I am not white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, so I brought it up with some of the great suggestions here. Wife's first reaction was surprise that I actually had a preference (in a good way I think - she made a comment along the lines of the fact that she can be sweaty, bloated and bald and I would still be trying to have sex with her, which is true).

She said (and I don't know if this is true) that her hairdresser had recommended shorter hair because her tips were afraid (or something like that), but she prefers it a little longer and thought it was nice I had a preference on something. Someone upthread asked about current length - it is long enough for a short ponytail, just below shoulders. We were reminiscing how I used to ask her to curl her hair and she thought I stopped asking for things like that because I stopped noticing her "that way."

Anyway, it was positive and she said she will grow it out more. Her hair looks very healthy and shiny, she is 40.

Thanks for feedback.

Awesome, OP! Really happy that went that way.

It's funny you mention that - about your wife feeling like you were indifferent to details of her appearance and interpreting that to mean that you no longer "notice her" that way. I think that makes a lot of sense. It's actually VERY SEXY when a man has preferences, contrary to what some of the frigid feminazis like to say.

In any case, I hope you two get a little extra spark in the bedroom now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, so I brought it up with some of the great suggestions here. Wife's first reaction was surprise that I actually had a preference (in a good way I think - she made a comment along the lines of the fact that she can be sweaty, bloated and bald and I would still be trying to have sex with her, which is true).

She said (and I don't know if this is true) that her hairdresser had recommended shorter hair because her tips were afraid (or something like that), but she prefers it a little longer and thought it was nice I had a preference on something. Someone upthread asked about current length - it is long enough for a short ponytail, just below shoulders. We were reminiscing how I used to ask her to curl her hair and she thought I stopped asking for things like that because I stopped noticing her "that way."

Anyway, it was positive and she said she will grow it out more. Her hair looks very healthy and shiny, she is 40.

Thanks for feedback.

You seem very sweet and sincere so I'm going to help you out

The hairdresser probably said her ends were frayed, not afraid. Also known in the hair world as "split ends."

[Anonymous]

Lol. I was trying to figure out the "tips were afraid" thing! (NP).

Good job, OP! I'm happy for you both, now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, so I brought it up with some of the great suggestions here. Wife's first reaction was surprise that I actually had a preference (in a good way I think - she made a comment along the lines of the fact that she can be sweaty, bloated and bald and I would still be trying to have sex with her, which is true).

She said (and I don't know if this is true) that her hairdresser had recommended shorter hair because her tips were afraid (or something like that), but she prefers it a little longer and thought it was nice I had a preference on something. Someone upthread asked about current length - it is long enough for a short ponytail, just below shoulders. We were reminiscing how I used to ask her to curl her hair and she thought I stopped asking for things like that because I stopped noticing her "that way."

Anyway, it was positive and she said she will grow it out more. Her hair looks very healthy and shiny, she is 40.

Thanks for feedback.

Aw you guys sounds so freakin' adorable! I just started humming "If you like pina coladas ..." lolol

Glad it all worked out well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, so I brought it up with some of the great suggestions here. Wife's first reaction was surprise that I actually had a preference (in a good way I think - she made a comment along the lines of the fact that she can be sweaty, bloated and bald and I would still be trying to have sex with her, which is true).

She said (and I don't know if this is true) that her hairdresser had recommended shorter hair because her tips were afraid (or something like that), but she prefers it a little longer and thought it was nice I had a preference on something. Someone upthread asked about current length - it is long enough for a short ponytail, just below shoulders. We were reminiscing how I used to ask her to curl her hair and she thought I stopped asking for things like that because I stopped noticing her "that way."

Anyway, it was positive and she said she will grow it out more. Her hair looks very healthy and shiny, she is 40.

Thanks for feedback.

Awesome, OP! Really happy that went that way.

It's funny you mention that - about your wife feeling like you were indifferent to details of her appearance and interpreting that to mean that you no longer "notice her" that way. I think that makes a lot of sense. It's actually VERY SEXY when a man has preferences, contrary to what some of the frigid feminazis like to say.

In any case, I hope you two get a little extra spark in the bedroom now

17:36 here....

I agree it's sexy when a man has preferences, but only when those preferences are for you or can at least be achieved by you. As a size 12, voluptuous AA, I would not think it was sexy if DH preferred a petite, Asian frame.

[Anonymous]

OP: Good job on the head hair.

Now what about the vaginal hair-style?

Does she shave it for you?